Broken Heart
by Danielleteambellaforever
Summary: It's four years since Edward left Bella...she is in college in Chicago and she is broken and abused until someone special comes along..all human
1. Chapter 1

Broken Heart

I do not own Twilight but I am a crazy fan who loves to play with the characters

AN: This is my first story attempt on fanfic. I hope it is enjoyed. Please excuse grammar I am starting out, I hope to improve over time by reading everyone else's stories. Also if you review I love honesty, my feelings won't get hurt *fingers crossed* Well that enough from me ENJOY…FYI this is an updated version I fixed the spacing problems. Thank You…

Chapter One

The Beginning of the End

It has been four years since he left me, empty and bleeding. It was then that I decided to leave Forks, Washington behind. I just couldn't bear to see everything that reminded me of all of them, not just him. I thought they all loved me, that we were a family, expect for Rosalie and Jasper. I really thought I was family to the rest. At least Rosalie and Jasper never pretended to love or even like me.

When my mom left with Phil I was heartbroken but I had Charlie and he loved me. Then Edward came into my life and I was complete. I had Esme and Carlisle too they were second parents to me. Then there was Emmett he was like the big brother I always wanted and Alice was not just a best friend but also a sister, but now I realize it was all a lie. It's good they left, because I am no good everything I touch turns to shit. But that was the past, he was the past, now I'm living in Chicago going to Northwestern University on scholarship majoring in English and minoring in math, yes math.

In high school I had such a difficult time but then Edward helped me and I finally mastered my fear of numbers. It's ironic that he helped me find my calling, becoming a teacher, even though he left me bleeding and broken. But now I am barely making ends meet, working two part time jobs trying to keep up with all the extra costs that the scholarship doesn't provide. That's when I met James one year ago, he came into the coffee shop I was working at, and he swept me off my feet, made me feel special again. I thought I was happy, but I was wrong. Under that good guy mask was an absolute monster.

He forced me to do things to him when I didn't want to and he was so jealous that even if he thinks another person glances my way he goes all crazy and hits me. I don't know why, I haven't done anything to make him feel this way I loved him, didn't I? Then last month my period was late, I can't believe I let this happen I knew better, I was on the pill. I wanted to make something of myself, finish school become a teacher, and then settle down and have a family. I was scared but I loved this child even if the father is a monster.

When I told James his face lit up, I thought things would get better. They did at first he was all night and shining armor again. He told me we would get married and raise a family. That he loved me and our child and he would never hurt me again.

I was so naïve, I actually believed him and last night he came home, to our apartment stone cold drunk and started yelling "who was here I can smell him." I started crying.

"No one was here just me." I cried.

"You're a lying bitch all women are, they just lie and spread their legs and you are the worst and easiest of all! Come here!" He screamed.

That's when he grabbed me and pulled my shorts down and smelled my lady parts. It was so humiliating I cried and begged him to stop but he didn't. And then he pulled me to the floor and started to fuck me really hard and it hurt. I told him to stop but he didn't. When he was done he went in our room and went to bed. I went in the shower and cried. How can I raise my child in a life like this? I decided then that I was going to try to leave before the birth of my child.

I would try to find another school somewhere else, that my scholarship could be transferred to. I just needed to work for the next few months to save enough money to get out. The next morning I looked in the mirror I had a black eye, finger mark bruises on my arms, and a huge bruise on my torso, I could hardly breathe I think maybe one of my ribs is broken.

But I can't go to the doctor, so I'll just try my best to ignore the pain. I finished my early shift at the coffee house, and my first class was starting in an hour. I decided to head to school and grab something to eat in the café near there. I walked in and stood there in shock, across the room sitting at one of the booths was Jasper.

I tried to duck out of the café without notice, but I heard "Bella, Bella is that you? It's Jasper. Come here." He practically begged.

I took off running trying to get away from that pain. But clumsy ass me, I tripped over my own feet and went flying face first toward the ground, when all of a sudden I was jerked backwards. Two strong, warm hands were holding me and I knew they were Jasper's. But what I wasn't expecting was the surge of electricity or the feeling of security I felt in his arms.

I looked at the ground and my sunglasses were lying there "oh shit!" I said aloud and start to turn around. I looked in his face and knew that he saw the black eye, and I knew he would ask. What am I going to say? Shit! Just then he turns me to face him and he looks directly at my eye and he knits his eyebrows together.

And says "it's probably none of my business and I'm, I'm the last person you would want to tell but what the hell happened to your eye darling?"

I start to speak. "I, I tripped into a door knob. I'm okay. You know me I'm such a klutz" I fake a half smile. I could tell by the look in his eyes, he knows I am lying. I have never been a good liar but he let it pass and asked how I was doing.

"I'm doing great I got a scholarship and moved here almost three years ago." I say.

Jasper asks what I was studying and I tell him. He asks if we could go back to the café and talk and catch up on the four years since he saw me last. I told him I didn't think that would be a good idea and I ask if the rest of the Cullen's are here.

He replies that "yes most of us are here except for Alice. Dad was offered a job at Children's Memorial Hospital a few months ago. So most of us came along to give school in Chicago a try, I was scouting out Northwestern and the rest are scouting out other schools in the area. Because we want to attend the same school, so we need to find a school to accommodate us all." He says with a grin and a gleam in his eye I couldn't place.

"Well that's nice?" I say in the form of a question.

I am so glad I am leaving seeing Edward here was not something I am prepared to face, especially now. I went to turn around to leave and he grabbed my arm, that's when I winced. He looked at me and dropped his hand.

"I'm so very sorry! Did I grab you too hard? I didn't mean it; I only meant to stop you from leaving. I am so sorry, I didn't mean it, and I just don't want you to leave. I really want to speak to you. I have missed you so much, we all have." He was begging and pleading and I could hear sadness in his voice as well.

I look into his eyes and I see hurt and concern so I say, "It's okay Jasper, you didn't hurt me you just….you startled me." I had unshed tears in my eyes and I could hear the tremor in my own voice.

I rubbed my arm and accidently lifted my shirt. I saw his eyes narrow and I know he's seen the finger like bruises on my arm.

He went to say something and I yelled at him "it's really none of your business Jasper you guys left and you didn't even like me then! So, why are you pretending to be concerned now?"

That's when I turn around with tears streaking down my face and take my leave. I look back and seen him standing there completely stunned and his face crumpled in what looked like pain. Why did he look that way? They didn't care about me, they left.

My mind is in a whirl I decide not to go to class and I go to my favorite hide out in the park a few blocks down. I sit there for an hour and decide I need to go back to school to my next class before James founds out I was not in class and starts his accusations. I went to class arriving a few minutes early, it was the one class that James had with me, I hoped with all my being he would be too hung over to show up.

But I wasn't that lucky a couple minutes later he came waltzing in there with sunglasses on and took his seat next to me. Like everything was okay and nothing happened last night. He even had the nerve to smile at me and take my hand.

He bends toward me and whispers "Did you finish our papers?"

I nod my head and hand him his paper. He squeezes my knee under the table and says "it better be an "A" or else."

Then he smiles at me, wraps his arm around my shoulders and says in my ear, "I am so very sorry my love I was drunk I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Fuck! I told myself I would never do that again. I promise I will stop drinking I was just stressed out and wasn't thinking straight. Is our baby okay? I love him too much to hurt him. I am sorry I didn't mean to hit you in your stomach near our child. I would never hurt our child. You know that, right?" He says in a sickly loving voice.

I just sit there and say "I know you didn't mean to hurt us. You were just drunk and I know you love us and wouldn't do that on purpose. I love you and there is nothing to forgive it wasn't your fault it was mine I should have not stressed you out, I am so sorry." I try my hardest not cringe through the words.

I say all this just to keep him happy and let him think everything was okay, so I could figure a way out. Because that was what I am going to do, I am getting out! But I still had no way to get out or any idea of how to do it. I needed to be strong for my unborn child even if I couldn't protect myself, I would die to protect my child, no matter what.

Please review so I know to keep going


	2. Chapter 2

Broken Heart

I still don't own twilight and I am still a crazy fan

Well here is chapter two sorry for grammar mistakes I do not have beta and this is my first try at a story..hope u like and please review so I know to keep going

Here is the revision trying to work out the spacing kinks hope it reads better *fingers crossed*

Chapter Two Getting Out

The next day I went to work my early shift, I had to get to my first class today I had missed yesterday but luckily my friend Angela works the night shift at the bar with me, and was in that class with me, she had taken notes for me and gave me my assignment. Even though I know that she suspects the abuse I'm suffering she doesn't say anything. But last night when she seen my eye she hugged me and told me she would help me in any way she could, and that she loved me and was there for me. She told me to leave him and move with her.

I just stood there leaning into her embrace and she took me to the tables outside and said "sit down let's talk."

I told her everything about my life from in Forks to how lonely and miserable I was, and to how I thought James was my new chance at love (so I thought) and finally to how he started to abuse me physically, mentally, and sexually. She told me I needed to report him but I told her how I was planning to leave as soon as I had saved some money. I told her about the baby and how I needed to protect it and how I was done with James and was leaving as soon as I had the chance.

She said I could live with her and she would help me with everything including raising my child. She was so excited about being an "auntie." She told me how we could we keep James away. Even though he went to the same school and was even in one of my classes. She said to drop the class and we would work it out so I was never alone with him. I started to feel better even though deep inside I knew he would find a way to get to me. But I pushed those feelings aside and I even started to believe this could work. Then I told her about running into Jasper and she said I needed to contact the Cullen's and get my answers so I could get closer and start to heal. So I could move on and never fall into the grasp of someone like James because of harboring low self-esteem. I fucking love this girl, she is the sister I never had, and I was so grateful that she was studying social work, because she was so good at making me feel better and knew exactly what to say to help me through all of this. She said to finish out my day like any other and pretend to James that everything was okay and tomorrow when he was at work, we would get all my stuff and move me into her house. I smiled at her finally feeling safe. The only problem was I had no idea where the Cullen's where staying and I only knew where Carlisle was working. I guess I could try to contact him there and finally put that chapter to my life at rest forever. I was finally feeling like I could move on and be happy with my new "_sister/best friend_" and my unborn child. We would make one odd family but at least it was love.

Later that day

My first class was just coming to an end and I was gathered my things to walk out the door, and there leaning against the wall, was Jasper. My body felt like a fire was burning it, he looked so fine, from that honey blonde hair to those beautiful blue eyes. He was wearing tight fitting blue jeans and a white button up shirt with the top button undone enough just enough to see the hint of slight chest hair peeking out I imagined how his muscled pecks looked beneath that shirt. What the hell was I thinking, looking at Jasper this way, it must be the hormones. He was staring at me too! I could feel his gaze; it was like he was looking at my soul. I looked up at him and a little smile broke across my face and I blushed. What was that, why was I smiling?

He smiled back and said "Hey darlin are you ready for that talk yet?" the biggest grin I have ever seen broke across his face.

And I said "yes I am ready to finally get some closer. Can we meet later at the bar I work at, around 7pm, so we can talk during my break?"

I gave him the address and my cell number and he said he would be there. I also told him to come alone because I wasn't ready to face the others until my face healed.

He frowned and said "I can understand that darlin."

He touched my face and said he was so sorry that someone hurt me and if he could stop it he would if I would let him. I stopped him and told him not to worry about me I wasn't his problem and I just wanted to talk for closer not to be his friend.

His face fell even more and he had a look of such hurt and pain that it tugged at my heart and I said "I am sorry for acting this way but it's hard for me to just pretend that your whole family didn't break my heart."

His face fell even more and he mumbled something I could not make out and he said "I am so sorry and so are they you just don't understand, not that I blame you."

I put my hands up and said "can we not do this now I have class. Please just wait until tonight, okay."

He shook his head still frowning and said "I will see you later tonight sweet heart."

I cringed not knowing what to feel but I didn't want to hurt him anymore and I faked a smile and said "okay see ya tonight."

Why was I feeling like I didn't want to hurt him? They were the ones, who left me, but I could see this sadness in those beautiful eyes and it didn't seem that it was just from seeing me hurt it seemed that he was hurting as well. I wanted to find out why but at the same time I just wanted closer and to move on. I started walking out of the building to go to my next class across campus, where I share the one and only class with James I took a deep breath and started walking out trying hard to be prepared for the façade that everything was okay so he wouldn't get suspicious. As I was rounding the corner two hands grabbed me, one in my hair and the other on my throat. I was stunned I could not process what was happening to me, my eyes were shut and my heart was racing. Who is this?

Then I heard the scariest voice I could imagine "so who the fuck were you talking to! You fucking whore I just knew, I knew you would turn out to be another whore just like Victoria!" He growled.

Then I felt a blow to the side of my head and everything went black.

I woke up to being kicked repeatedly in my ribs I was screaming "stop please stop" but the kicks continued.

I opened my eyes and saw the most murderous glare coming from James' eyes I had ever seen, I knew I was going to die he was going to kill me and my unborn child. I instinctively wrapped my arms around my torso trying to protect my baby with all my might, but he kept kicking and yelling whore, cunt, bitch, and many other vulgar names.

And I could not do anything to make it stop. I started begging pleading for him to stop "please stop, I didn't do anything, I haven't cheated on you! I love you please; you're going to hurt the baby." I pleaded through tears and sobs.

"Fuck that bastard it's probably not even mine! Fuck you! It's probably that pretty boy blonde I saw you with, you fucking no good slut."

I started to scream "help! Anyone please help me!" I had no idea where I was, everything was blurry blood was running down my face.

Then all of a sudden the kicking stopped and I heard James screaming "fuck you, you pussy, you cannot save that whore I will kill her first and I will cut that little bastard out of her!"

Then I see a fist make contact with James' mouth and someone say "if you ever touch her or call her any more vulgar names in my presence I will beat you until you cannot speak and if you ever so much as put a hair on her head out of place or look at her in the wrong way I will kill you, you fucking no good women abusing bastard. C'mon hit a man! What are you a pussy; you can only hit defenseless women!"

That's when I finally was coherent enough to realize who it was. It was Jasper and he was beating the hell out of James, I had never seen so much hate on Jasper's face he looked like he was going to kill James. James was trying to block Jasper's punches and was sobbing and begging him to stop.

That's when I finally got my voice back and said "Jasper please stop don't kill him, I don't want you to get into any trouble because of me! Please don't get involved."

That's when he turned his head and dropped James on the ground, I seen his face instantly soften as he looked in my eyes.

He came over to me and started to help me up I winced from the pain and he let go and turned around to look at James and said "come one step close to her and you will regret that for the rest of your life! Now leave you sorry excuse for space."

After that I saw James get off the ground and run away as fast as he could. Then Jasper turned back to me with tears in his eyes and said "I'm so sorry I couldn't get to you sooner, I heard your cries for help and came running. Are you alright? Can you move? Do you want me to call an ambulance?"

He started to pull his phone out and I screamed "no please no I don't want any cops or ambulances involved I think I just have another broken rib. Can you please take me to Carlisle? He is the only one I trust please I have to make sure the baby is okay. Please I do not care about myself just my baby," tears were running down my face and I still had my arms wrapped around my torso protectively.

Jasper looked at me and said "you're pregnant and he just beat you like that I will kill him!"

I looked at Jasper and said "no please just take me to Carlisle," I saw his expression soften and turn to concern he looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes, glistening with tears and kept repeating how sorry he was. I told him it was not his fault. Then he bent down and carefully picked me up and brought me to his car. In the car he took his phone out and I heard him tell Carlisle that there was an emergency and if he could meet him at home in his office alone and that he would explain when he got there. And then he turned to me and said "are you okay sweet heart don't worry I'll never let anything happen to you again, I am here I will protect you please believe me."

I just stared into his eyes and I felt really fucking safe for the first time since Edward left me, even more so than I did yesterday with Angela. Why was I feeling like this? I should be worried about my injuries not worrying about the sadness I see in his eyes.

That's when I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen and felt something warm between my legs, I looked down and seen blood lots of blood. Oh no not my baby I started crying hysterically sobbing, "My baby! Something is wrong with my baby" I felt the car pick up speed and Jasper was flying through the streets of Chicago like a bat out of hell.

Next thing I knew we were screeching to a stop and Jasper was racing around the car, he opened the door picked me up and was running toward a beautiful house and up some stairs.

He kicked the door open and ran down a hallway and then down some stairs to a door and flung it open and placed me on a bed and yelled "Carlisle help her now! Something is wrong! She is bleeding and she says she is pregnant! Oh please dad, you have to help her now!"

I turned my head and seen shock come across Carlisle face as he took in my appearance and started asking Jasper what happened to me. He started examining me and asking me where I hurt and how far along I was. While Jasper was explaining that he heard me screaming for help and found me being beaten by my boyfriend.

Jasper was sobbing uncontrollable by this point and Carlisle turned toward him put his hand on his shoulder and said "she is going to be fine Jasper just go hold her hand while I finish my examination. She is going to be okay. I promise it is not life threating but the emotional scars will be great she needs some support right now so be strong for her."

Then Carlisle looked at me with sadness in his eyes and said "I am so very sorry but the baby didn't make it you are having a miscarriage, the first three months are very fragile and the beating that that bastard gave you caused the fetus to abort.

I will have to take you to the hospital if you do not stop bleeding to make sure everything is okay with your uterus," I had never heard Carlisle curse before it shocked me.

Then he turned to me and said "I am so very sorry if there is anything we can do please don't hesitate to ask and you are not leaving here until you are healed.

I know that you may feel betrayed by my family and our actions all those years ago but we will explain. I can only hope you can find it in your heart to forgive us."

The he said "aside from the various bruising on your body you have three broken ribs and maybe a fracture in your wrist, I will need to x-ray you and assess all the damage. Please here me out you really should report this; he needs to be behind bars."

I looked at him and told him that "I do not want to go through the humiliation of explaining all this to the cops and I do not want my dad to find out it would kill him please. If you promise not to make me report this I will stay until you say it's okay to leave and I promise I was planning on leaving James tonight I am moving in with a trusted friend I was just waiting for tonight when he was asleep but then Jasper stopped me when I was leaving class and we were talking about catching up with each other at my job later tonight. And I guess James must have been watching because as I was walking to my next class he grabbed me and started hitting me. I was so scared I thought I was going to die that's when Jasper came and saved me."

I looked Jasper in the eyes and said "thank you so much."

Tears were beginning to spill over his face and he said "always, I will always protect you. I am so sorry I didn't get there sooner and I am so very sorry about the baby."

I looked him in the eyes and told him "it was not your fault I should have left sooner it was my fault I did not protect my baby."

Jasper grabbed me by my face as gentle as he could and looked me in the eyes and said "none of this is your fault it was all that sick demented woman beaters fault. He is not a real man, real men do not put their hands on women especially pregnant women and one day when you are healed inside and out you will find someone who deserves the beautiful and loving woman you are and you will be blessed with the most precious gift (a baby)."

Tears started to run down my cheeks and he wiped them away with his thumbs and kissed my forehead and whispered in my ear "I will try my hardest to make everything better and I will always be here for you and I will never leave you again no matter what Edward says unless you order me to leave."

That's when my stomach turned and I looked at him and said "please don't tell Edward about this I don't want to see him I cannot handle that kind of pain again."

He looked me in the eyes and said "I promise that I will not let Edward near you until you are ready and please try to get some rest. I promise I will be here by your side when you wake and I will explain everything."

With that I shut my eyes and drifted off to sleep with Jasper's arm resting right next to mine on the bed.

A few hours later

I was feeling very sore and was laying there when everything that happened started to come back to me in flurry of pain and sorrow. Although I was sad I no longer had my child growing in side of me, I was relieve that the child wouldn't have to grow up with all the pain and suffering that I was going through. That's when I realized that two hands were holding mine I looked to my left first and saw Jasper still sitting in the same position with tear stained cheeks holding my hand and then I turned to my right to see Esme holding my other hand near her face and was resting her head on my bed with tear stained cheeks too. At first I could not understand why she looked so sad after all they were the ones that left me. I felt anger rise through my body but then I remembered what Jasper said about everyone needing to explain things to me. I decided right than I would at least hear them out because although I was hurt and angry I could see the love that was very evident on their sleeping faces. I figured that maybe they just felt sorry for me because of what happened but I decided to still hear them out, except for Edward I was not ready to face him. My heart could not take that right now. I squeezed Jazz's hand a little and he started to stir, he jumped and looked at me, in the process I startled Esme awake, she then squeezed my hand. I kept my eyes on Jazz too scared to face Esme in my horrid state.

Jasper looked into my eyes and said "do you need something sweet heart please let me know and I'll get you what you need."

Then I heard Esme's soft voice say "Bella please Bella look at me" I slowly turned my face toward her not meeting her eyes and she placed her finger under my chin and gently lifted it so she could look me in my eyes and said "Bella I know we hurt you so much honey and we are so very sorry but please let us explain, but first you need to heal. Please let me know if you need something and don't worry we sent Edward to stay near campus until you are ready to speak with him. Jasper told me that you did not wish to see him yet. Now please let me know if there is anything you need, anything at all."

She had tears rolling down her face and she kissed my forehead saying "I am so very sorry for everything we should have never left you."

"I am willing to hear you guys out however I don't feel up to opening old wounds at the moment."

She smiled a small smile and said "I understand," and I looked into her eyes those same beautiful blues eyes Jasper had so different from the emerald eyes Edward and Carlisle shared.

She asked if I needed to use the restroom and that she could help me into the bathroom and Jasper bent over me and said "I will carry you there and Esme can help you with the rest and when you're finished I will carry you back to your bed."

I smiled at him and said "thank you."

After I was finished Esme left the room to get me something to eat and drink. Jasper stayed with me taking my hand back in his and kept saying how sorry he was that he wasn't there in time. I told him to stop apologizing because he saved my life and I was very happy he did. And also that I forgive him for leaving four years ago because he has more than made up for it and I do not want to see that sad look on his face anymore.

He gave me a half smile and said "as you wish sweet heart."

I gave him a smile in return and said "I would really like to be friends again. I missed you so much even though we really didn't talk much before I have always thought about you and how life was for you."

He smiled a really big smile and said "I will love that more than anything and life is so much better now that you are here Bella."

Then I looked at him and asked "where is Alice?"

His face fell in his hands and he started to sob and said "she is in New York and I will explain everything later when you feel better."

I looked at him confused and he said "please Bella not yet. I am not ready to tell you that right now."

I just shook my head and was wondering what the hell was going on around here. Was I fucking dreaming or what? I was also wondering when I was going to get some answers. All they keep saying is later or I will explain. I just want some answers now. Why are they treating me like some fragile little girl I know I look like shit but I already lived through a broken heart these superficial wounds are nothing compared to that? Than memories of my time with Edward and rest of the family started to flood my mind as I thought back I realized I did used to notice Jasper staring at me. I used to think he was just day dreaming but now I feel it was always something more. I must be going crazy because he had Alice she was beautiful and smart. Why did he look so sad when I brought her up? So many unanswered questions I need to find out what the hell happened. Just as I was trying come up with a way to talk to Jasper about what happened. Esme walked in with a bowl of soup and some Chamomile tea.

I smiled at her a said "thank you so much for everything Esme I feel like I am home again."

She gave me a beautiful smile and a wink and said "I have always thought out of you as a daughter. Please don't think any of that has changed I have been so worried about you over the last four years wondering how things were going with you. I am so very happy to have you back and even if you don't trust me, believe me I will not leave you again or let you out of my sight again, I promise. I love you way to much my lovely Bella."

I looked her in the eyes and said "can you please tell me why you left me if you have missed and loved me so much. I don't understand I really want to understand but you guys are not making sense. I feel like you are playing mind games with me and please do not tell me these things if they are not true or if you just feel sorry for me because of what happened."

"Oh no, no my dear although it pains me to my very core what has happened to you. I am not saying these things to you out of guilt. Believe me I feel very guilty for not being there when you needed me the most but we left because we thought we were doing the right thing. However it was wrong and we should have not done it but it is not my place to tell you the whole reasons behind it, that unfortunately you will have to hear from Edward, whenever you feel up to seeing him" Esme said with tears rolling down her cheeks.

AN: so next chapter will be up if you review and want more..Just kidding Chapter 3 will be added as soon as I edit *fingers crossed*


	3. Chapter 3

Broken Heart

Chapter 3 Getting Answers

Still don't own Twilight and I'm still a crazy fan!

A/N: Still do not have a beta but I hope the grammar is getting a little better ….ENJOY!

After I ate the soup and drank the tea that Esme gave me, then Carlisle gave me some more pain meds and I drifted back to sleep. I was in a foggy haze when I heard voices outside the door. I looked around and realized I was in a different room this room had book shelves lining two walls a plasma TV hanging on the wall, the walls were sky blue with light colored hard wood floors, on the south facing wall was a sliding glass door leading out to a patio, and I was lying in the center of the most beautiful kind size bed. The headboard was made of black colored wood with roses and vines carved all the way up the bedpost with violet fabric flowing from post to post, the comforter was a deep blue with violet patterns of more roses. There was a beautiful set of matching dresser with mirror, chest, and two night stands all made of black wood with silver trim and handles. Around the room were three doors which I figured lead out to the hall, to a bathroom and the double doors must lead to a walk in closet. I was still feeling very sore and was taking shallow breaths. So I decided to listen to what was being said outside the door.

"She is alright, right now just resting a bit, please let her sleep and I will fetch you as soon as her eyes open I swear I will. But she has had a very long day and really needs some rest besides dad has her heavily medicated for the pain," I realized that was Jasper speaking to one of his siblings.

Then I heard Emmett's voice "please bro I just want to peek at her I missed her so much. C'mon bro I haven't seen her for like four years. I really need to see her to make sure she is okay."

Then Jasper says "bro I know how you feel but she really isn't feeling well and needs her rest and I really don't think that would be a good idea to just let you in there without her permission."

"Look bro I love you and I don't want to yell or hurt you but one way or another I am going in that room. You are really starting to piss me off and scare the hell out of me. What is so wrong with her? Why won't you let me see my lil' sis? You know how I feel about her. What is it to you? It's not like your Edward," Emmett said in the most menacing voice I ever heard come out of his mouth.

I never heard him speak to anyone like that before. Although he is huge he was like a really big teddy bear always happy, always joking, and always hugging the breath out me. I thought about this with a smile my face. Em was really out there trying his damnedest to get through Jasper to come see me. He must really miss me and be worried if he was talking to Jazz that way and I could not figure out why Jazz was being so over protective he was starting to sound like Edward and that was starting to scare me. But it was also starting to make me feel all these mixed emotions of love and caring.

Then I heard Jasper sigh and say "alright just let me give her a heads up and I must warn you she looks really bad, her boyfriend really did a number on her, please don't be too shocked or upset in front of her. You might hurt her feelings."

Then I heard Em gasp "what the fuck do you mean her boyfriend beat her! Who the hell is this loser and where the fuck is he? So I can go rearrange his fucking face!"

Jasper sighed again "Bella does not wish for any of us to get involved, she just wants to heal and I already rearranged his face for him believe me he won't be able to see correctly for at least a week or more. I pounded his face in pretty damn good. Just give me two minutes and you can come in. You might want to go get Rose I know she probably will want to come see her too and I'm sure Bella would prefer to see you both at the same time. Just please give Rose a heads up about Bella's situation. Thank you Em and I'm sorry I was over reacting, I just want her to feel comfortable and happy here."

Then I heard footsteps go down the hall and the door started to slowly open. "Bella, Bella are you awake? Is it okay if I turn on a lamp?" Jazz said in a quiet voice.

"Yes Jazz I heard you and Em outside the room and it is fine if he and Rose come in. I want to see them and thanks for warning them about my, my condition," I reply in a soft voice.

He turns the light on and slowly comes to the bedside and places a chair next to the bed and sits down. He looks so exhausted and strained I reach out and touch his face and look into his eyes. I see so many emotions sadness, concern, compassion, love, and frustration all flickering through his eyes at the same time.

I say "Jasper please get some rest you look so worn out you don't have to harm yourself with no sleep, I am okay I feel a little better and I just keep falling asleep from these meds anyway. Why don't you just get some rest and come check on me later."

"Bella I am fine and I don't want to leave your side. I promised to stay with you until you felt better and I am a man of my word. Please don't worry about me, just worry about getting better sweet heart."

"Jazz if you insist on staying then just climb in next to me there is plenty of room and I don't want you sleeping in that little ass chair. I won't take no for an answer so just get in here already!"

"Are you sure Bella? I don't want to hurt you by moving the bed. But I would feel so much better if I could stay by your side to make sure you are okay."

"Of course Jazz you- I, I want you here. You are making me feel better by being here with me and once you settle in the bed it will be okay the pain isn't that bad right now with all these damn meds. Thank you so much for staying with me I really appreciate it, although I do not understand it. Besides you can get some sleep while I talk to Rose and Em."

With that he gave me a beautiful smile and went to the other side of the bed and gently climbed in and soon his eyes were closed. I watched him drift off to sleep and looked at his handsome face and all the crazy emotions and electricity started to flow through me again, until there was a quiet knock on the door.

I say "please come in Rosalie and Emmett." The door starts to open and in walks Rose and Em with worried expressions. When they see my appearance they both gasp and shock spreads across their faces, but they quickly change their shocked expressions to softer looks of concern and love.

Then they approach the bed and Em looks at me and says "Bella what happened? Who the hell did this to you? I want to kill that mother fucking bastard and give him what he deserves."

I look at Em and say "don't worry he is gone for good and Jasper already beat the shit out of him. Trust me I think Jasper scared the shit out of him and he won't be bothering me anytime soon."

Then they both look over at Jasper lying next to me with confusion and wonder on their faces but look away without a word. Instead they asked if I could explain what happened to me. I tell them about my life over the last four years and how I ended up in Chicago and how I met James and how the abuse started and I even tell them about the baby. I watch their expressions closely and see Rosalie's eyes fill with tears and this was a shock because I really didn't think she liked me but maybe she just felt sorry for me because let's face it I looked like total shit.

I look her in the face and asked "what is wrong Rosalie why are you crying?"

She looks down at me and says "Bella I know that my behavior in the past was horrid and I am so very sorry. I was just jealous of you and until we left I really didn't know how much I loved you. I really missed you. My life has been empty without you. I just want my lil' sister back and please call me Rose. I know you probably don't understand but I really have missed the hell out of you and I want to get to know you and build a better relationship with you. I am so sorry for all the past bullshit. Please tell me you can forgive me."

I looked into her beautiful sapphire colored eyes (the same as Jasper because they are twins) and knew she was telling me the truth. So I say "Rose of course I forgive you and yes I would love to get to build a better relationship with you. I have always wanted to be your sister even when things weren't so good between us."

"Oh Bella I love you so much," with that she bent over and gave me a kiss on my forehead and whispered in my ear "he really did miss you didn't he" as she looked over to Jasper.

I wondered if she knew something I didn't. I'm starting to think I really need to speak to Jasper because this shit is getting weird. Everyone around here are acting so different from what I was expecting, maybe I was wrong, maybe they did all miss and love me. I think it's time to find out some shit about Edward, Jasper, and Alice because something isn't right and these feelings I'm having for Jasper are scaring the hell out of me. I need to watch myself around him because I obviously do not make the best decisions when it comes to men. I have one terrible track record Edward left me and then after him there was Mike Newton who was a total asshole always cheating on me with Jessica and Lauren and then James he was the worst. The only good men in my life were Charlie who is my dad and Jacob who wanted more but I only wanted his friendship. I need to find myself and figure out who I am before I end up in another fucked up relationship that destroys another part of my broken ass heart.

"Bella, Bella are you okay? Damn Rose what does Pops have her on she is dazing off on us maybe we should let her get some rest."

Hearing Em I shake my head and say "I'm sorry Em yeah these meds got my head spinning maybe I need some sleep."

"Okay Belly, Rose and I will let you get some rest but please send Jasper to fetch us when you wake up because we got some catching up to do and I think you and Rose need to have some girly talk and shit."

Em said all this with a big ass smile on his face looking back and forth between Jazz and I. "Sure Em sounds good we definitely got some catching up to do. I want to hear all about how you and Rose have been. And Rose I would love some girl time with you. I need my sis to talk to. I have a really great friend named Angela that you need to meet. I hope we all can spend some time together after I heal. Oh that reminds me, can you please ask Esme where my phone is? I really need to tell Angela where I am before she calls the cops thinking I was kidnapped or something."

Rose looks at me with a half-smile with sadness in her eyes and says "of course Bells I'll go ask her where your stuff is. Do you need anything else?"

"Just some water and my phone would be nice. Thank you so much. I feel so helpless right now."

"Oh goodness Bella you need to heal! You were just almost killed! Please don't feel that way we are here for you and it is no problem. Don't you ever feel that way! We love you, all of us do. Do not let me hear you ever say something like that again. You are not a burden! You are family!"

With that they walked out of the room and I was left staring in disbelief because Rose seemed so truthful and loving, and I know she is totally being honest from what I remember of her she always told it like it was no matter what, no sugar coating and no lying. I am really starting to love Rose like a big sister. I just hope her and Angela get along because I want both of them in my life especially if I was planning on sticking around. I look over at Jasper who was sleeping soundly next to me; he must have been exhausted because as soon as he hit the pillow he was out. I star at his face just thinking what did Alice do to him to make him look so sad. I can see it all over his face he is broken and hurt just like me but when he looked in my eyes it was like a light was shining. I feel the same way but I don't think I can be that light for him because I am more broken then he is. How can I help him, when I can't even help myself? But I will be his friend and try my best to bring that light to his life. Even if it is just as a friend, which is all I am capable of right now. I hope that is all he wants but for some reason I don't think he does. I think he wants more but I cannot be sure because I really don't know him that will. Not yet anyway.

A few minutes later

Rose walks into the room with a large glass of ice water and my phone and says "mom said she is having your clothes cleaned and your book bag is in Jasper's car so I'll get his keys later and get your things for you. Emmett and dad want to know where you live so they can get your things because you are staying with us and we will not take no for an answer. Until then I am going to get you some new clothes and I won't take no for an answer. So what size do you wear now?"

"Rose please you guys have done enough I have plenty of clothes I do not need anything."

"Bella as your big sister you better realize you will not win against me I am buying you some new clothes and don't worry I'll get a variety I know you like your jeans and sweats. I did not forget and besides I have like four years of birthday gifts to make up for, so just get over it already."

"Ugh! Rose please don't-Oh never mind I know you will do it anyway. I like blues and purples and yes some comfortable tees and sweats will be nice while I have to stay in bed. I guess since you insist." God I love this girl even though she is pissing me off I hate feeling like a charity case.

"Well that's more like it. Bella I am glad you will let me do this. It makes me so happy. So what is your address? So they can get your things."

"Rose I really don't want them going there. I lived with James and I don't think it's such a good idea for Em to see him. Besides when I feel better I will go get my stuff when he is at work=-

"Abso-fucking-lutly not! You will NOT go anywhere near that asshole as long as I am still breathing and you think Em is his biggest problem you are mistaken he hurt my family and I will kill him myself!"

The look in Rose's face scared the hell out of me and I would never cross her. "Rose I promise I will not go anywhere near him. I just don't want your family involved any more than they already are or for them to get into trouble over me."

"Isabella Marie first of all it's OUR family not mine and dad will never let anything stupid happen. You know better than that. They just want to get your things, that's all. You can tell them when he won't be there so they can go then, if that makes you feel better."

"Okay Rose I'll give the address but please tell them to wait a few days so James can calm down."

"I promise Bells whenever you think its okay than you can give them the address but make it sooner than later because the sooner you move on the better."

"Rose look I know you think I am probable some batter woman that always goes back but I promise you I was leaving him the night this happened. I was just waiting until he went to work then Ang and I were going to get my shit and I was gonna move with her."

"Bells that is not at all what I think. I know you are a beautiful and strong woman and I know you are done. I can see it on your face when I say his name. I just don't want anything else to happen to you. I don't want to lose my little sister now that I finally got her back. I won't let that happen ever again. I love you too damn much to let you walk out of my life again. Look I know you want answers. So I guess I'm gonna be the one to start spilling. I don't care who I piss of." Rose starts to whisper so Jasper doesn't wake "Bella, Edward and Jasper got involved in some bad shit in Forks that's why we had to leave. The people they were dealing with said they would kill you and your dad and the rest of us if they didn't leave. That is why we left like that. Edward knew he couldn't tell you because your dad was the fucking chief and he didn't want you to know. He was ashamed. Jasper and he both were. They got involved in some stupid ass shit and we had to move. Our dad was pissed and Esme was hurt but we knew that we couldn't tell you because we didn't want something to happen to you or your dad or Jazz or Edward. Jasper got hurt really bad to prove their point. It showed Edward and Jazz that these people meant business. I never seen Edward or Jasper so scared in my whole life. When we left Edward was so depressed and sad, we all were. Our whole family was real fucked up for the first year. Then one day Edward was sitting on our back porch and I sat next to him and he started spilling his guts. He told me how much he loved you and how sorry he was to all of us for ruining our happiness. He said he was done with the bullshit for good and he was gonna change his life and go back to find you and beg for your forgiveness. Two years ago he went back to Forks to find you. He ran into Char-."

"What Edward spoke to Charlie and he didn't tell me. What the fuck I'm gonna snap!"

"Bella please let me finish. Anyway Charlie yelled and cussed Edward out telling him how it was his fault you were so depressed after we left you. He told him that you had moved on and went to Texas to college and you were doing great. He told him you had a wonderful boyfriend. He even showed Ed a picture of you and James. Edward was heartbroken and said it was all his fault and if it was the last thing he did he would beg for your forgiveness. Even if it meant that you two never got back together because he didn't want to make you lose something if you were happy. So he went to Texas and searched for you. Yeah I guess your dad lied. Edward was in Texas for six months searching all the colleges for you. He even hired a private detective to find you. I guess he needs his money back because you were here the whole time huh."

"Yeah Rose I came here a few months after high school I wanted a fresh start."

"Yeah well a few months ago dad was offered a job at Children's Memorial Hospital and he asked us if we would like to live in Chicago and start a new life and stop being so depressed all the time. We all said we would try if it made him happy. Except for Alice she left to New York right after high school. He said we all could go to college together and that Edward should start going to college and stop doing online classes and he would help him find you. He promised us all, that he would hire whoever it took to find you and he even called Charlie himself. That's when we got the surprise of our lives because Charlie told dad the truth that you were in Chicago. That's when we all got excited and decided to scout out all the colleges here and find you. Edward was starting to act more like himself finally, because he finally had hope that he would see you again. But what shocked the shit out of me was Jasper his eyes lit up and he said he was gonna find you himself. I just looked at him crazy wondering what was going on in his head, yeah we may be twins but I had no idea what he was thinking. I know this may be confusing but you will have to ask him about Alice that is not my place and you will have to ask him why he wanted to find you so bad. Alice hurt all of us. I am just telling you this because I want to be able to tell you everything and I want you to tell me everything. I want my little sister to confide in me and I need someone to confide in too."

I looked at Rose and one tear started to fall down her cheek. I reached up very slowly and gave her a hug and whispered in her ear "of course Rose I want that too." I leaned back down wincing at the pain and said "Rose I hope you can understand that all of this is so confusing and I thank you so much for telling me what you can and I understand that you cannot tell all of it."

"Oh Bells I knew I could trust you and thank you for trusting and believing me. I need you so bad and I missed you so much. I can't wait until they finally tell you everything."

"Me too Rose and thanks so much. So where is Edward? I am just curious I still don't want to see him yet. Especially looking like this. Also I am so confused I keep having these feelings for Jasper and their starting to scare me. I've been lying here with my mind racing I am so glad I have you to talk to. But I would rather do it when he is not lying right next to me if you do not mind."

"Of course not Bella and I better leave you to get some rest anyway because you look like you're gonna pass out on me any second."

"Thanks Rose as soon as I get some sleep I will send for you. So you didn't answer me. Where is Edward and does he know what happened to me?"

"No Bella we haven't told him because we don't know what he will do. He is at an apartment near Northwestern all he knows is that Jasper found you and you are not ready to see him. He says he will wait for you but I don't think that will be long. Knowing him he will show up as soon as he knows dad and mom are at work. But don't worry Bells Em and Jazz won't let him in here until you give the word, and I did not tell you all of that to make you forgive him or choose him I just wanted you to know the truth. The other thing is you have two really great guys here for you please think things over carefully."

"Rose what is that supposed to mean?"

"Bella are you blind look at him he hasn't slept since he first ran into you and you had a black eye that day. Jasper had been going insane these last few days worrying sick about you and that's all I can say you have to ask him."

"Rose I understand. I would rather hear it from him anyway thanks for telling me some shit I have been so confused wondering what the hell was going on around here."

"Anytime sis I love ya. Now get some fucking sleep before I send "_Dr. Cullen_" in here to sedate your ass!"

"Yes ma'am." Then Rose kissed my forehead pointed to the pillow and said "SLEEP." She quietly walked out of the room and slowly closed the door so she didn't disturb Jazz.


	4. Chapter 4

A/n: Still do not own Twilight and I still love it..Lemon alert this chapter contains a lemon that Bella remembers from her past..this chapter is all about getting to know what about Bella's life before college and some things that are happening in the present..ENJOY

Chapter 4

Thinking

After Rose left the room I lay there trying to let sleep take me. My phone was charging and it was 1:00 am I text Ang.

Ang I am ok I will call u in da AM and explain everything…luv ya _**B**_

U sure ur ok _**A**_

Yes _**B**_

U wit James _**A**_

No I promise I am with some old friends…get sum sleep I'll call u in da AM *kisses* ;-* _**B**_

K B-) ttyl _**A**_

Just my luck as soon as I close my eyes I have to pee! I slowly start to slide off the bed trying not to wake Jasper or hurt myself. I hold my breath and place my feet on the floor, inching my way off the edge I grab the bed post and lift myself upright.

"OW shit!" I turn my head slightly and see Jasper's eyes flutter and then he sighs and moves his hand but he is still asleep. I stand still for a few moments and start to put one foot in front of the other holding my torso and biting my tongue. After 30 painful steps I make it to the toilet, I leave the door a crack open so Jazz doesn't wake from the noise.

As I slowly sit on the toilet and relieve myself I hear light footsteps coming towards the bathroom then hear Jasper say "Bella, Bella where are you?"

"Jasper I'm in the restroom."

"Is someone in there helping you?"

"No I'm okay Jazz, I'm almost done."

"Do you want me to get my mom or Rosalie?"

"No Jazz I told-ow you I'm fine. OW fuck! I'm okay Jazz my side just hurts when I move too much"

"I'm coming in!" His voice is full of panic now.

"No Jazz I'm done, I'll be out in a second," just then the door starts to open, as I pull the nightgown down to hide myself and Jasper is standing in front of me with inflamed cheeks. His blush is beautiful and I bet mine in even more scarlet.

"Bella please you are hurt we are here to help don't-,"

"Jazz I'm more than able to use the bathroom by myself thank you for your concern." Then he helps me walk to the sink and after I wash my hands he gently lifts me up and carries me back to the bed. I lean on his shoulder and smell his scent, wow he smells amazing like fresh air, cucumber and green pear, green melon, amber and musk there are also hits of cinnamon and weed. Wow does he smoke weed because he smells like he just smoked a blunt. Maybe I am going crazy but Carlisle will kick his ass if he is using drugs, unless that's what all this secret bullshit is about. I mean, not that I care if he gets high, personally I would rather see someone get high and chill instead of drink and flip out. It has been my personal experience with James that when he was high he was calm and relaxed and when he would drink that fucking ugly monster would appear its fucking ugly head, and I would feel its wrath. I so prefer calm and chill. Hell even I have smoked once in a while until I found out I was pregnant than I stopped everything I wouldn't even drink a "_coke"_ or coffee and I even switched to caffeine free teas. As I think about the baby tears start to well in my eyes. I got to get a grip, I am sorry I lost the baby with every part of my being but I can't help but realize I was in no shape or form to care for a child at this point in my life.

Then I look up and Jasper is starring down at me curiously, "what are you thinking about darlin'? Why are you crying? Am I hurting you? Do you want me to put you down?"

"No Jazz you are not hurting me. I was thinking about, about the baby. Please don't misunderstand I do think it is for the best, I was not ready to be a mother but-

"Bella darlin' please stop putting yourself down you will make a wonderful mother. You are one of the most loving, gentle, and beautiful people I know. Maybe now was not the time for you because circumstances being as they were but one day you will have a beautiful child just like you." As he said this he gently placed me back on the bed and kissed my forehead.

"Jasper it's not that I think I will be a bad mother, it's just that I know I was not ready and he was not the right person to have a child with, I should have been more careful. Ever since Edward left I just make bad decisions when it comes to men. I don't want that to happen anymore and I need to take responsibility too I can't keep blaming it just on him either. Rosalie said some things to me and I realize that I had things all wrong that I was so busy feeling sorry for myself that I did not think or even consider that it was hard on you guys too. Not that I could have known otherwise considering you guys left without any information as to why. All Edward said to me was that he didn't feel the same about me and he wanted to move on with his life without me. But after speaking with Rose I can understand some of the reasons why the rest of you left, I just do not know the cause. Do you think you can explain things in the morning? That is after we get some much needed rest because I am not ready for another roller coaster ride tonight and I do not think you are either." He looked at me with complete disbelief written all over his face and the color in his eyes started to go from blue to black and his whole face was turning red.

"What? He fucking told you that he didn't feel the same and wanted to move on without you! I feel like, like-"

"Jasper are you okay? What is wrong you look like you're gonna blow a gasket!"

"Bella I just can't believe that he could say something so heartless. This whole time I was feeling sorry for him and I wanted to help him get you back. But not now not ever he won't have you! I will not allow him to hurt you like that ever again! I don't care what fucked up ass shit we got our selves involved in he had no fucking right to say such things to you!"

"Jasper it's alright that is the past I am moving on and-"

"No Bella I will have a few words with my brother about this!"

"Jasper please, please I don't want to come between you guys. Do not fight over me especially over something that happened over four years ago."

"Bella now I understand why you feel so unworthy and if it's the last thing I do I will make you open your eyes to the beautiful person you are inside and out. Look, I really thank you Bella for being patient with us especially me and I promise I will tell you why we left in the morning. I am way too tired and angry to talk about this tonight," he said this while stifling a yawn and the color in his eyes and face were going back to normal.

"Come on Jazz lay down and let's get some sleep."

He walked around the bed and gently climbed in and closed his eyes. Then he turned to face me and asked.

"Bella darlin' is it okay if I hold your hand until I fall asleep? If you feel uncomfortable you can say no. I just, just really need some comfort. I have just been lost for so long and now that you are here I am starting to feel like my old self again."

I looked at him and could see the need in his eyes I just hoped he didn't get the wrong idea.

"Yes Jazz I need that too, I have been so lonely without you guys I have always thought of you guys as family with or without Edward. But just as friends okay?"

He nodded his head and I could swear I heard him say "for now" under his breath. He intertwined our hands together in a firm grip, like he was holding on for dear life and within minutes he was asleep and slightly snoring not loud enough to bother me, but just enough that I knew he was totally knocked out. I closed my eyes and drift off as well.

5 hours later its 6:30am

I grab my phone from the side of the bed on the nightstand I slide my finger across to check the time I see it is 6:32am and I frown I have only slept for like 5 hours. I yawn and check my missed calls and text messages (I had turned my phone on silent so we could sleep) there are 25 missed calls and voicemails and there are 55 texts messages, they are all from James.

"Oh not now I cry!" I am not ready for this shit I thought he would at least wait a few days.

"Bella darlin' what is wrong? Do you need a pain pill?" I hear Jasper whisper softly beside me.

"No Jazz I go back to sleep. I was just looking at my phone and that asshole left a lot of messages and I am not ready to deal with this," I sob slightly.

"Bella, honey do you want me to take care of it, I will call or text him from your phone and ask him to leave you alone. But only if you want me too I will not do it without your permission." I can see all the love and concern in his eyes as he says this.

"You know what Jazz, I would love for you to do that but I think I need to stand up for myself for a change because I need to put my foot down or people like him will continue to think they can keep doing shit like that to me. Jazz he is not the first in fact he is the third asshole I got with since Edward. First was Mike Newton. Do you remember him?"

"Yes Bella, I do, how could you date a jerk like that? I am sorry if I offended you I can see it on your face I didn't mean to be so blunt. It has been a really long few days and I haven't had enough sleep. I am sorry, I was just surprised by that, I remember how much you hated him. How the hell did you end up with him?"

"Well Jazz I did hate him but after Edward left I was feeling, well I felt like Mike was all I deserved."

"Oh darlin' you deserve a man that can appreciate you for you. You are beautiful, funny, smart, and loving. Any real man would count his lucky stars to have a woman such as you," now I am blushing so hard I think my ears are as red as cherries and I look away from him.

He places a finger on my chin and turns my face toward him and says "Bella you do not need to be embarrassed I mean every word I say. Now please continue I want you to trust me and be able to tell me anything."

"Well yea Jazz, Mike was a huge mistake he cheated on me all the time and I left him after six months. That's when I applied for several scholarships and choose Northwestern. Then there was also Jacob Black, my dad's friend's son, he just wanted more than I was willing to give and when I told him that friends was all I could handle at that point in my life he went ape shit and started breaking shit and calling me names. He told me I was worthless and lucky he was willing to take pity on a loser like me. I haven't spoken to him since even though he keeps sending me apologies. The fucked up part is he and I were good friends since childhood but that is ruined now."

"Sweet heart you deserve so much more. I just wish you could see just how special you are and I will help you see just how special you are if it's the last thing I do. Now take these meds and get a couple more hours of sleep because I know you need some more sleep as do I."

"Yes Jasper you're right. Can you please get me some fresh water? And I'll take the meds so I can sleep a while longer. I will set the alarm for noon so I can deal with school."

"I'll be right back with that darlin'," he has one of the biggest smiles on his face as he walks out the room.

Why do I get the feeling that he hasn't smiled like this in a very long time. Judging from Em and Rose's reactions last night I'd bet my next pay checks that he hasn't. I am starting to believe Rose that Jasper has more than feelings of friendship toward me and I feel like those feelings were present before they left.

Flashback

I remember catching him stare at me from the corner of his eyes every time Alice or Edward weren't looking, but back then I just thought he wanted me away from his family. The Cullen's were always considered an odd family Jasper, Rosalie, and Edward are the biological kids of Carlisle and Esme, but Emmett and Alice are foster kids. Edward was the youngest and Esme had complications after his birth and could not have any more children but she wanted more. Jasper and Rosalie were a year older than Edward and they are twins. Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were in the same class in 2nd grade and became best friends and of course Edward was friends with them even though he was a year younger. Late that same year Alice was found in a group home for girls that Esme was volunteering at, she was only 8 years old and she was the same age as Edward. Esme always wanted Rose to have a sister and thought she needed a girl to hang out with because she was always hanging out with the boys, so she introduce Alice and Rose who became best friends right away so Esme and Carlisle decided to foster her and brought her home. I met the Cullen's when I was 12 and in junior high, before that I lived with my mom in Arizona she sent me to live with my dad because she got remarried to Phil when I was 11 and I was issue in their marriage. Alice was the first person I met in Forks I was sitting in the office waiting to be placed in a class when the secretary sent for a student to come get me and take me to my new classroom.

She came hopping along in the office with a huge smile on her face, she grabbed my arm and said "you are gonna be my new best friend my name is Mary Alice Cullen but everyone calls me Ali or Alice."

I was speechless I didn't really have any friends in Arizona because I was always sad and lonely, Alice made me feel happy she was very tiny with short black hair and dark brown almost black colored eyes and milky color skin similar to my creamy white skin but my eyes were lighter brown almost like milk chocolate. From the first day I met Ali I was always at the Cullen's house, I met the rest of them that first night and Esme treated me just like her own kids she threw my birthday parties (Charlie wasn't one for parties) and taught me about becoming a woman and many other things. I met Edward that first night and was awe struck, he and I both could not stop staring at each other, his green eyes were so beautiful they were like emeralds with gold specks just like Carlisle's and they also had similar colored hair it was bronze but Carlisle's looked more blonde and they also shared a slightly tanned colored skin. I also met Rosalie and Jasper that night as well they had crystal blue eyes like their mom's but their hair colors were different Rose had silky blonde hair and Jasper had a honey colored blonde and Esme had a very light brown colored hair however Jasper had the same color skin as him mom it was a slight brown with hints of red giving them the look of Native American heritage but Rose shared the same color as Edward and Carlisle.

When I finally looked away from Edward's gaze to Rose she just rolled her eyes at me and went to her bedroom.

Then I saw Jasper he smiled and said "Hi my name is Jasper I'm very pleased to meet you," Edward ran after him and they both started wrestling on the floor, soon after Emmett came bounding over and jumped on both of them.

I stood there wondering why they were fighting I was about to ask Alice when she pulled me to her bedroom. Later at diner I sat between Alice and Rose with Carlisle at one end of the table and Esme at the other end and Edward sat across from me, Jasper was across from Alice and Emmett who was also visiting sat across from Rose. That was how most dinners at the Cullen's went we all had our places at the table and when I went home Esme would send food for Charlie. All of us kids did get along very good and we would always all hang out together at the roller rink, park, or at the rec center even though Rose and I never really got that close she still spent time with Alice and I. We would all even go to the mall together the guys did their thing and us girls did ours then we would all meet up for a movie and food. However, when I would sleep over with Alice, Rose would never join us she would always sleep in her own bedroom, after we finished whatever sleep over activities Alice would come up with and the boys would always crash the parties with pranks or insist we play video games with them or play baseball or some other sport so they wanted more players for. The teams for the sports games were either guys vs. girls or Japer, Alice, and me against Emmett, Rose, and Edward it was fun and that was the only time Rose would actually be nice to me when girls were playing the guys but when she was against me we were always in fierce competition. Every Saturday was family night because Esme and Carlisle always made sure to have Saturday evenings off and we would all play boards games or have movie fests or in the summer we would go on camping trips or ski trips in the winter. On the camping trips Rose was forced to share the girl's tent and Alice would sleep between us, once in a while she would let her guard down and join in our conversations and actually smile at me and speak to me. Life was so great I felt so happy with them I forgot all about the horrible shit that happened with my mom and just pretended to be a Cullen except when I was home with Charlie. Even though we hardly had ground breaking talks I knew he loved me and we had our ways to show it. When I was 14 Esme asked all us kids we would like to learn how to cook, neither Alice nor Rose or the boys wanted to learn so that ended up being Esme's and my special time, eventually Edward and Jazz also joined in the lessons. Esme was over joyed to teach the 3 of us to cook it was the only time Jasper and I ever really spoke, he always seem so happy in the kitchen, Edward on the other hand was only in there to test the food and sneak touches of me when him mom's back was turned. Jasper would always pinch him and tell him to stop because mom was right there then Edward would punch Jazz and mouth the words "cock blocker or asshole" and then he would leave the room and go play video games with Em until dinner was done. But as soon as Edward was gone Jasper would smile and we would continue to help Esme and that's when I would catch him staring at me from the corner of his eyes. But I would either disregard it or think he just wanted alone time with his mom and wanted me gone. So I decided to stay out of the kitchen for a few weeks but Esme and Jasper weren't as happy and then two weeks later Esme came to me and asked if I no longer liked cooking with them because she and Jasper missed my help.

I told her I felt like I was intruding and she frowned and said "oh heavens no honey we love having you in the kitchen with us it is not the same without you."

So I resumed my kitchen duties and we were all happy until Edward started to demand Jasper play games with him and Em because kitchen work was for women and Em was a cheater and he needed his brother to help him win. That was my freshman year and the year I started to date Edward, and Alice and Jasper started to date as well a few months after us. Em started dating Rose the year before when they were both freshmen. Edward, Alice, and I were sophomores and Jazz, Rose, and Em were juniors when Em's parents were killed by a drunk driver, his grandparents were too old to care for him so they signed their rights over to the Cullen's. During my sophomore year Edward and I were both 16 and had our licenses and he was given a silver Volvo for his birthday we spent a lot of time driving around and even started to go to parties with the rest of the Cullen's. That year I finally went all the way with Edward before that we would mess around a bit and I would always stop him and tell him I was not ready.

Then one night we were all at a party and Edward and I were stoned out our minds and he asked if I wanted to leave and spend some time alone with him in our secret meadow, it was really warm that night and the stars were shining in the sky, which was a very rare occurrence in Forks so I said "hell yes!"

We were laying in the grass and he started to put his hand up my shirt and touch my sides his hands were so hot and gentle and he grabbed and caressed my tits.

I started to get so wet, I wanted more, then he leaned over me and started to kiss my lips very passionately and when he broke the kiss to let us catch our breath he started kissing up and down my neck and across my collar bone until he made his way back up to my ear and whisper "Bella love I want to kiss you somewhere else," as he said this he slowly traveled his hand down my side and to my thighs and placed his hand right hand on my wet pussy and said "I want to kiss you here."

I just nodded my head yes. I was too lost in the heat and passion to speak then he started to undo my button and unzipped my jeans and slowly pulled them down over my thigh to my knees then he opened my panties and placed a gentle kiss over my pussy lips and smiled.

Then he looked up at me and said "I want to see all of you. Can I take all your clothes off please? I want our bodies to be as one skin on skin."

I reached for him and kissed his lips with all the passion I felt for him to let him know I was okay with this and I pulled his shirt over his head and unbuttoned his pants and he slid them down to his knees and off along with his boxers and shoes. Then he took my shoes off and finally started to slowly pull my shirt over my head and I was lying there in only my bra and panties and he was completely nude. I had never seen him completely naked before and I looked at his body and then seen his dick which was pretty big it was the first time I seen it in the light even though I had given him hand jobs before. I was a little scared to make love to him but I decided to do it anyway because I thought we were always going to be together because I loved him and I knew he loved me.

He looked me up and down with lust filled eyes and whispered in my ear "don't worry love I will be as gentle and slow as possible. I would never harm you," then he undid my bra and started to suck each of my nipples while his hand traveled down to my panties and he took those off and started to rub my clit with his thumb.

He continued this for a few moments all the while rubbing his hard cock on my inner thigh and he came back to my lips gave me a very sweet kiss and went to my ear again and nibbled it and whispered again blowing his hot breath there saying "can I taste that wonderful wet pussy of yours," I gulped and nodded my head yes he shook his head no and said "I want to hear you say it."

Then I screamed "oh fuck yes Edward please tasted me I want you to," he gave me his breath taking crooked smiled and kissed my body all the way down stopping to pay my nipples some attention and continued his descent to my thighs were he sucked and nipped until I was screaming his name and begging for more. Then he licked my wet pussy from bottom to top and took his fingers and opened my lips and started to lick, suck, bite, and kiss my clit until I started to tremble all over and then he slipped two fingers inside me and brought me over the edge and as I started to cum he lightly bit my clit and I scream "oh my, fuck Edward, fuck, fuck, yes, yes."

After my breathing slowed and I finished riding out my orgasm he came back up to my lips and kissed me very passionately it turned me on to taste the traces of myself on his lips. Then I started to kiss him down his body I wanted to make him feel the way he made me so I started to kiss, lick and bite him as he did me I stopped at him nipples to suck, nip, and lick then he started to scream my name out, it stirred me on more and I continued my task. When I reached his thighs he was staring down and me with hope and lust in his eyes I had never took him in my mouth before I had only given him hand jobs before but tonight I wanted to make him feel like he made me, so I licked the tip of his cock and made my way up and down his shaft then I took him in my mouth as far as I could handle and placed my hand at the bottom and I started to bob my head up and down, Edward put a hand in my a hair and moved my head at the pace he wanted all the while screaming out "oh fuck yes Bella like that fuck, fuck, fuck, shit Bella that feels so fucking good," he continued this until he was so far gone he could only moan or grunt.

Then when he was about to cum he warned me by saying my name and I popped him out of my mouth because I was not ready to swallow that because EW gross and I finished him off with my hands.

He pulled me back up to his mouth kissed me and said "I fucking love you baby," after he calmed down we started to kiss and touch again so he started rubbing his cock on my pussy making me wet all over again as he started to get hard he stopped and asked if I wanted to go all the way because he needed to be inside me, he needed it to be just me and him.

I nodded my head yes and he said "no Bella say it," so I screamed out again "yes I fucking want you inside me Edward I love you and I need you to be inside me," he gave me that same crocked smiled and I heard a rip of foil and watched him put a condom on.

Then he rubbed his condom covered penis between my wet lips and lined it over my opening and slowly inched his way in and when he got to my hymen he looked in my eyes and said "are you okay and are you sure you want to do this?"

I scream out "Yes Edward just fucking make love to me already," with that he gave on quick thrust and I felt a horrible pinch inside me and I screamed "oh fuck that hurts take it out!"

He pulled out very fast and I turned over sideways with my hands between my legs and he wrapped his arms around me and said "I am so sorry baby but it is supposed to hurt the first time don't worry next time won't be as bad. I love you and I will wait until you are ready to try again don't worry."

We just spent the next few hours under the stars until he took me to his house and I told Alice all about what happened she laughed and said "I wonder when Jasper will finally take me, he wants to wait until I am ready but I keep telling him I am."

A few days later and she tells me they finally went all the way but then she confessed to me that she was not a virgin and had slept with someone our freshman year when her and Jasper first got together but she would tell me who it was. I felt bad for Jasper but she was my best friend so I couldn't tell on her besides I am sure he figured that out when they finally went all the way. Life with Edward was great after our first night together we would sneak off to our meadow or do it in his car or sneak in to each other's rooms. We were happy and he always would tell me how much he loved me. Then the beginning of my senior year my happy life came to an end when the Cullen's packed up and left, after that horrible day when Edward said all those mean things to me, I never thought they would all just up and leave me. I needed Alice so bad to get through the break up with Edward, but they were all gone. For the first few months I was like a zombie I felt like I didn't exist I just went through the motions of life without any emotion but Charlie started to get worried and wanted to put me in a crazy hospital. That straighten my ass right up I started to hang out with Jessica Stanley and then I started dating Mike Newton he just wouldn't take no for an answer so I just went out with him to get my dad off my back.

Sex with him was terrible it was nothing like the passion and love that Edward showed me with Mike it was him climbing on top of me and pleasing himself he never cared whether I came or not he just got his and would say "that was fucking awesome Bella."

Getting with mike was a horrible idea because he and Jessica were fucking behind my back he was also fucking like 3 other girls. I was so glad I only slept with him a few times and we used protection every time, even though I was on the pill I never trusted him and every time we had sex I was so drunk and high I didn't think about what I was doing, I just didn't want to be alone even though I still felt lonely inside. Then after I found out about all the girls Mike was fucking, I cried on Jacob's shoulder and we became close friends again I hadn't spent time with him since I had started dating Edward before that my dad always made me go to La Push every last Sunday of the month that was the only day I didn't spend at the Cullen's but once I started to date Edward he thought it wasn't cool for his girlfriend to hang out with another guy and plus he said the weekends should be his. My dad just gave up complaining and didn't force me to go anymore, until the Cullen's left, then our Sunday's at La Push turned into almost every night. I was somewhat happy again Jacob made me feel alive again but then he started getting weird on me at first I didn't mind he would just hold my hand and it just made me feel warm and comfortable but he started to go too far trying to kiss me or touch me. I told him we could only be friends and he started calling me a tease and a slut and asked if I wanted to get paid if that was the problem. He started throwing things around in his garage breaking the windows and saying I was worthless and he was only taking pity on me anyway I smacked him in the face and never spoke to him again. I didn't tell Charlie because Jacob's dad Billy was Charlie's best friend and I didn't want to ruin that too. Jacob kept texting me saying sorry and he was just drunk and high and didn't mean it. That I just hurt his feeling because he loved me for a really long time and wanted to be with me but it hurt him too much when I turned him down so he overreacted. I never responded back to any of them and decided I was going to get as far away from Forks as I could as soon as I graduated. A month after graduation I moved to Chicago got my two jobs and started college and then met James and Angela.

As I was reminiscing on the past I wondered what happened between Jasper and Alice because they always seem so happy even though I knew about Alice's secrets I wondered if she was still cheating on Jasper more than she said and if he found out and that's why she went her way and he went his. But I still don't see her not being a part of the Cullen family because she was a daughter to them, I don't think Esme and Carlisle would just write her off because of whatever happened between her and Jasper. I still had so many questions and so little answers, someone needs to start talking and I know Esme and Rose are going to be the ones to spill the beans about Alice because Jasper seems so reluctant to talk about her. I also started to cry when I thought back to all the times Edward and I had spent together. It also dawned on me that it seemed as though Jasper had been waiting for me to want him because it was after he wrestled with Edward that he stopped smiling openly at me in front of Edward and all the times in the kitchen he didn't like when Edward would purposely touch me and then after Edward and I got together officially, that was when he finally got with Alice and she was the one to ask him out. Also they didn't have sex until after Edward and I finally had sex. I really need to ask Jasper about all of this but I don't know how. I am scared that I will make a fool of myself and that my suspicions are wrong. What the hell am I going to do? I am so confused and these meds are not helping one bit. After I get some more rest I am going to ask Jasper for answers about what happened to Edward and him that made them leave at least I could find that out because I am too chicken shit to ask Jasper about his feelings for me from the past. I need answers before Edward shows up and judging from what Rose said earlier it won't be long until he does. I know enough about Edward that when he wants something he will do whatever it takes to get it no matter who is standing in the way. In fact that is how he got me, because even though I liked him a lot I was very shy back then and every time we would pass in the halls or I would spend time with his family he would smile that crooked smile at me, then he started showing up at my locker and taking my books and walking me to class or purposely found ways to touch me at his house. After a few weeks of this it was during our freshman year we ran into each other at the little tourist area in Port Angela's outside of Forks, Washington I was dropped off by my dad because Alice was supposed to meet me there but it just so happened that Alice bailed on me. She was MIA so he took me out to dinner and I got a ride home with him from Emmett after that we were together as a couple, until he left me. I remember seeing Jasper really pissed off the day after we got back from Port Angela's and Edward told me Jazz had fought with some stupid ass guys that night and was fine. I never thought about that again because I was so caught up with being with Edward, he was so loving and nice to me he treated me with respect never raised his voice at me or never forced himself on me, in fact I was the one to tell him I was ready to go all the way that night we spent in our meadow.

He said "are you sure? We can wait; I do not want you to feel obligated. I want you to be completely sure," those were his words as we drove to the meadow high and drunk as hell.

After he left me, I was so confused and heartbroken I could not understand what I did wrong. I do want answers from Edward but I don't think I am ready because I want the truth and I don't think he will give it while I look like I got hit by a bus.

I also want to find out about these feelings I am having for Jasper and it seems he feels the same way but I am not sure if I want that right now, I really don't want to lose him though. Jasper has fallen back to sleep and the meds have not kicked in so I decide to read some of the texts that James sent.

Bella please answer me I called and left you like 25 messages please at least text me back _**J-Dogg**_

I am soo sorry luv please answer me _**J-Dogg**_

I didn't mean wat I said please baby I need u I don't want to lose our fam I was stupid please find it in ur heart to forgive me _**J-Dogg**_

Baby r u ok did I hurt u r u in hospital..just answer me..I need to know if ur alright _**J-Dogg**_

The first 20 messages continued to be all loving and begging for forgiveness then of course true to form he flipped the script and that ugly monster showed his face. I think at this point he was probably drunk off his ass.

U no good filthy whore if u wanted a pretty boy I could have sold u to plenty at least I could have made $$ of ur whorish ways _**J-Dogg**_

Wat u fucking pretty boy & can't answer phone wat is his lil cock in ur mouth _**J-Dogg**_

When I find u SLUT u will pay for ignoring me BELLA _**J-Dogg**_

The insults and bullshit continued for several more messages then the pleading started.

Look baby I told u I was sorry and I meant it please forget those messages I was just hurt and angry and drunk when I wrote them and now I'm sober and I am gonna get help I promise we could go together I'll do wat eva it takes just please answer me I luv u like no other u know that and our baby means more than anything to me _**J-Dogg**_

Baby PLEASE I am on my knees begging PLEASE just let me know u r ok..I'll be at ur job to check on u in the AM _**J-Dogg**_

Where r u? I need u baby please u r all I have I was just scared I was losing u I didn't mean any of it….I understand if ur mad but please let me know if ur alive u don't have to forgive me right now I can wait just please let me know ur ok _**J-Dogg**_

The messages continued this way until an hour ago, he must have fallen asleep hopefully he doesn't go to my job, I had today and tomorrow off so I hope I will be able to go to back to work on my next scheduled shift because the pain is already starting to be tolerable maybe it's just the meds but I need to go to work to make money so I can move in with Ang. I also need to go to class because I cannot miss or fuck my grades up or I'll lose my scholarship Carlisle said he will give me doctors excuses for the next week or two but I want to go back ASAP. I will call my counselor later to drop the class I am in with James I have to that today because it's the last week to drop without it affecting my GPA. I need to text James back to tell him it's over but I don't want him to destroy my things I need to talk to Rose or Ang to ask their advice on how to handle this. But until then I guess I should just play like I need time to think and let him know I am alive but the baby is not maybe he can wallow in his guilt for a while. So I text him:

Look James u really hurt me bad..u fucked my face up and gave me a few broken ribs and u kicked me in my stomach so hard the baby didn't make it..I just need some time to think...please give me some space _**B**_

All most instantly I get a reply he must be awake and waiting at my job. I hope he doesn't make a fool of himself or make me lose my job.

Baby I am so sorry please..where r u I need to c u..r u sure the baby is gone..please answer my call I'm gonna call u right now..don't shut me out I lost our child too..I know its my fault I am so sorry I can't say it enough give me a chance to prove it…I love you baby _**J-Dogg**_

DO NOT CALL me I am not ready to speak to u right now..if u r truly sorry and luv me u will give me a few days to think _**B**_

Just then my phone rings, lucky it's still on silent I do not want Jasper to wake up and know about this. I hit ignore and text him back:

Look I am in a lot of pain and I am on sum heavy pills I am gonna go back to sleep and I will call u later and please don't go to my job I have today and 2morrow off remember I told u a few days ago when I was off _**B**_

OK But I will b waiting for ur call or I'll call u at noon..please answer BTW where r u? can u tell me? R U wit HIM? I am not mad I just wanna know ur safe..I know I don't deserve to know and I know u feel like u can't b safe arournd me but that beating I got opened my eyes..I know how u felt when I did it to u and I take full responsibility and I am sorry I CAN'T lose u ur all I have I luv u too much to just let u walk away baby _**J-Dogg**_

I am safe I am staying wit sum friends that's all I am gonna say 4 now I'll talk to ya laters _**B**_

After that I text Ang:

Ang I am gonna shut my phone off for a while because asshole won't leave me alone so u can get a hold of me on my girls # it's 312-555-0124 her name is Rose I told her who u r..just ask for me but Imma get sum sleep call me at like noonish k _**B**_

K I got it luv ya girl can I c u later to make sure ur good and I'll get ur work from ur classed for ya _**A**_

Yea don't worry about mu humanities class wit James I am dropping it later so just get from da others kk luv Bells _**B**_

K luv ya girl ur bestie 4 life Ang _**A**_

K ttyl I'm turning phone off now Goodnite luv ya to bestie _**B**_

Then I shut my phone off and try to go back to sleep for like the fifth time tonight/day. Gosh I really need some rest. I hope my texts to James didn't make things worse I just need to play cool until I get my shit. Ugh! How the hell am I going to get sleep with my mind racing maybe I should take one of the pills Carlisle said will make me sleep. I reached over to the night stand wincing from the pain in my ribs and my breathing hitches and I grab the bottle and take one of the pills, soon after I started to feel drowsy and then everything drifts away.

A/N: BTW Jasper's scent comes from an actual type of soap that is designed to represent the Twilight characters so I decided to use this version but added the weed smell for story purposes.. you can find the link to the soaps on .com


	5. Chapter 5

Broken Heart

A/N: Still don't own Twilight but I finally got both graphic novels. Sorry if this chapter doesn't have much action it's a filler, Rose kind of got outta hand, she talks a lot but at least she spills ENJOY….

Setting: Its noon the next day after Bella was beaten by James

Chapter 5

Talking

Noon

"Bella, Bella its noon are you awake? Didn't you want to call the school to drop that class? You can go back to sleep after you make the call. Are you awake?" I can hear Jasper speaking but my brain just would not function.

"Coffee Jazz I really would love some coffee. Black please," I whisper to Jasper because my head is pounding and I know I need to get shit done pain or no pain.

"Of course darlin' I already have some in my hands. Open your eyes." I slowly open and true to his word he has a hot steaming cup of black love in his hands. Oh how I love coffee when I need to wake my ass up, especially after sleeping pills.

"Thank you so much Jazz, you are the best!" I reached for the cup of black gold and I sip greedily.

"So what would you like for, I guess we missed breakfast, so lunch it will be," Jasper has one of those body tingling grins on his face, he must have finally got enough sleep, wish I could say the same for me.

"Jazz you are doing way too much but if you insist I would really love some of that chicken soup Esme made yesterday if there is some left and a grilled cheese would be great and to drink some juice would be great too."

"Anything sweet heart and yes mom made extra soup she knows it's your favorite. She even went and got you some apple and orange juice. So which would you like my darlin'?"

"Apple would be great!"

"Hey remember when we used to help mom cook?"

"Yes Jazz I used to think I was intruding I even stopped helping for a few weeks until Esme came to me and asked why I stopped helping."

"Yes I remember after the second day you didn't come and help I was so sad thinking you didn't want to be in the kitchen because I was there."

"Why would you think that Jazz?"

"Well um, um it just seemed that every time I would be in the kitchen you'd get sad like you wanted to spend time alone with mom and Edward."

"Oh no Jasper that wasn't it at all, I would get upset because right when we were having fun and you would actually start speaking to me Edward would make you leave. So I would not talk to you so you would stay because Esme would get upset when you would leave and it made me feel like I was the reason and I felt that I was intruding."

"Really Bells you really liked cooking with me!" The excitement in his voice filled me with a happiness I haven't felt in years. Now I understand why she wanted all of us in the kitchen because the 3 of us would have so much fun joking and playing around. I think Edward was jealous because Jasper and I would joke around and when we were having fun that's when he would make Jasper leave, I used to think he just wanted Jasper to play video games because he was bored in the kitchen not that he was afraid Jasper would steal me away.

Jasper gave me a huge smile and said, "I'll be right back with the food. Oh! And Rose wants to know if you are up for some company yet?"

"Yes Jazz tell her to come I would love some company." I really wanted to talk to her and see if Angela called her yet, I know Ang she probably called her to check up on me the minute I shut my phone off.

Once Jasper left I called my counselor and dropped my class. She told me that Carlisle had called her and told her I was in a car accident and would be out of school for at least a week maybe two. She asked me how I was feeling and I told her I was doing better that I would be in as soon as I felt better and I asked if my scholarship was in any danger.

"No honey do not worry you will be fine the doctor said that someone would be by to pick up your assignments and I spoke with your professors and they all agreed that you could take the next tests online until you could make it to class and you can email them any questions may you have."

"Thank you very much Mrs. Cope I am so happy everyone is willing to help me out."

"Oh dear you just concentrate on feeling better and if you have any problems just give me a call."

"Thank you so much Mrs. Cope. Bye."

"Feel better dear bye."

After I hung up with Mrs. Cope all the text messages started to come through. I went to my messages screen and looked at the screen; James had sent another 15 texts while I was sleeping. I just hit the button on the top of my phone to black the screen out I did not want to read any of them. Then I made sure to push the volume button all the way down until I felt my phone vibrate because I knew the calls were going to start up again. Maybe Rosalie would love to stop James because I did not want Jasper or any other male to do it but Rose could be just as scary.

I placed all the pillows behind my back so I could sit up. I was tired of laying down my ribs still hurt like hell but I was okay as long as I sat very still.

Carlisle came in and said "Okay Bella how are you feeling today?"

"I am feeling really sore but not as bad as last night. My breathing is still shallow but I am able to tolerate the pain today."

"I am going to examine you again to make sure everything is healing properly. Are you bleeding heavily or is it just like a normal period?"

"It is just like a normal period I am not bleeding heavy and the clots are gone too."

"That is great news as long as you are not experiencing any cramping or heavy bleeding you will not have to go in the hospital. However I want you to get a full exam by a GYN in the next 6 months to make sure everything is healed. Okay."

"Yes Carlisle I promise and thank you so much for taking care of me. Thank you so much for everything."

"Oh Bella we are just so happy to have you back. We have always thought of you as a daughter. It is just so great to have you back I haven't seen Esme, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie so happy in a long time. I really think you were a major missing piece to our lives now we just need to get Alice back and our family will be complete."

"Can I ask you something Carlisle?"

"Yes of course Bella what is the matter?"

"Why is Alice not here with you guys?"

"Well Bella, I think that Alice wants to figure out what it is she wants out of this life because she was not happy. Even before we left Forks she was distancing herself from the family. I don't think she ever loved Jasper I think she just wanted him to love her the way she knew he could love a woman. But when she realized that his love wasn't enough to keep her happy she needed to search for what did make her happy. I don't blame her for hurting Jasper because you can't stay with someone you do not love and who does not love you either because I think neither one of them was ever in love with each other I think they were in love with something or someone they could not have so they both settled."

"Who did she love?"

"That I do not know I do not even think she knows yet either. I think she is a lost soul searching and grabbing at what she thinks will keep her safe but she does not let herself love because she is afraid of getting hurt. Every time she starts to love someone she runs away or pushes that person away because she was hurt when her real parents left her. That is why she pushed Rose and you away because she started to feel love for you guys and it scared her so she made sure to protect herself by pushing you guys away."

"What do you mean push us away?"

"Well when she first came to live with us her and Rose were inseparable and then she started to distance herself from Rose, she stopped hanging out with her and started to lock herself in her room and not talk to Rose anymore and she was very sad and lonely. We told Rose it wasn't her fault that Alice was just scared of being hurt and to just give her time. Then you came around and Alice started to be happy again, the light in her eyes came back and she started hanging out with all you kids again and she seemed to really get close to you. We had never seen her so happy and Rose didn't understand she was jealous of you and that's why she was so cold towards you. We tried to explain that it was not your fault but Rose just seen you as an intruder that took her sister away. Eventually she seem to warm up to you and the 3 of you seemed to really become good friends and then when Rose started dating Em and Edward and you started dating I think Alice felt left out so she went after Jasper and for awhile it seemed that she was happy again. However I did not know what was going on with all of them until it was too late and we had to leave. I am so very sorry for that Bella believe me if I could have thought of another way I would have never packed my family up. But then Alice was unhappy again after we left you I could tell she really missed you just like the rest of us and she started to distance herself from all of us. Then when she graduated high school she decided that she wanted to go to college in New York and begged that none of them follow that she wanted to be on her own. I agreed to pay for her tuition as long as she stayed in contact every week and she calls Esme and me every week to check in."

"So is she doing okay? Because I miss her so much she was like a sister to me and I just want her to be happy."

"Yes Bella she does seem to be okay."

"What about Rose why does she like me now?"

"Well Bella after we left and she finally learned just how Alice is she realized just how much she really missed and loved you. She has regretted not getting to know you better ever since we left she has cried so many times how she missed having you as her sister. It surprised me the first time she said it but it makes since even though she tried to keep her distance from you she always loved you. I used to see it especially when we went camping and you and her would always have so much fun fishing it was the one thing you both loved that Alice did not and when we left she thought back about all the fishing trips and how much fun you two had that's when she realized how much you were a sister to her. Even though she is angry with Alice about what she did to her brothers but she still loves Alice as a sister. I just hope one day we can have all our children back together under the same roof even if it's just for holidays. I love you kids so very much as does Esme and please call us mom and dad. You are a daughter to us and have always been. I know that if you were to call Esme mom that would make her very happy. But please only do it when you feel comfortable. I know that you are still hurting because we left."

"Car-dad thank you so much for talking to me and I do love you guys as family. I missed you so much and I no longer feel angry that you left I still feel hurt and sad but now that I know more about why, I forgive you. And I would love to call you dad and Esme mom because I have always thought of you as my family when I was younger I always pretended to be a Cullen."

"Bella that makes me so happy," he had tears in his eyes and gave me the most heartwarming hug I ever felt and he kissed my forehead and said, "welcome back home daughter."

Happy tears fell from my eyes and I knew I was home again. I also knew I was not leaving I was going to stay here with the Cullen's while I finished school. It made me feel so whole, now I just needed to put the Edward shit behind me and become his friend again. That is all I want from him was his friendship I could never trust him with my heart again besides I think my heart is starting to love a different Cullen and I just hope that doesn't hurt the family I want the family all together again too. I was kind of upset now that I force Edward out of his home and away from his family but I still need some time until I'm ready to face him.

"Well Bella it will take some time before you're able to move around again because there isn't much I can do for broken ribs other than give you pain relievers and make you rest, you should start to feel better in a week but I want you to keep taking the meds while the pain is still strong. Please do not try to over exert yourself you need to sleep as much as possible especially for at least the next 3 days while the bones start to set and don't worry about work or school I already took care of it. I spoke with your friend Angela this morning she gave me the names and numbers to your bosses, teachers, and counselor."

"Yes da-ad I spoke with Mrs. Cope before you came in and she told me you called her. I figured Angela would call Rose and demand to speak with you."

"Yes dear you are very lucky to have a good friend like her she almost did a background check on me. I assured her you were okay that you were resting and I gave her our address she said she will come to check on you after she got off of work."

"Yes that sounds like Ang it will be good to see her I know she must be worried sick I did not tell her what happened. I did not want to tell her in a text at 1am so I figured I would call her when I woke up. Thank you so much for telling her I will call her after you leave."

"Yes just remember you need to get rest and please make sure you eat and drink."

"I will and trust me Jasper and Rose are making sure your orders are followed believe me Rose practically knocked me out by force last night," I said with a laugh.

He laughed as well and said "yea that sounds like Rose now make sure you take your meds and eat your lunch and get some rest. If you need anything have someone page me at work I have to work the night shift and I will be in to see you tomorrow morning to examine you again, okay."

"Okay dad I love you and thanks for everything," I say to him with a big smile on my face.

"I love you too Bella and it is no problem you make our family complete," he smiled back at me and walked out of the room pointing to the bottle of pills and giving me the stern dad look.

After Carlisle left the room I called Ang and explained everything that happened and how Jasper saved me and that I was going to stay with the Cullen's for now. Just as I hung up with Ang Rose came waltzing in with a shit load of shopping bags in her hands and huge grin and narrowed eyes that said just accept the gifts smile and don't say shit. I smiled at her and her eyes turned bright and she started to speak.

"Bella I found the most wonderful outfits for you. I hope you like them I tried to find stuff I thought you would like and also some I want to see you in."

"Thank you so much for everything Rose I really did miss you."

"Bella I am so happy to have my sister back and I missed you too. Oh and Angela is so great she came shopping with me to help me pick some stuff out. When you feel better we have lots of plans for some hot spots she said you guys like to party at. I am so excited I haven't had the chance to meet any new people here yet. We start school next semester so we didn't think we would meet anyone until then."

"I am so glad you guys hit it off I'm glad she found someone to shop with because I haven't been shopping with her is a long time. Oh and she finds some pretty wild ass parties."

"Yes I figured that from the way she was describing them. She invited Em, Edward, and me to the bar you work tomorrow night for some drinks when her shift ends."

"Edward is going to my bar?"

"Oh I'm sorry Bella do you not want him there?"

"No Rose it's fine, I just wasn't expecting that."

"He doesn't have to go I just figured if I invited him out, he wouldn't come her looking for you."

"Really Rose it's fine it just surprised me that's all. How did Ang take it because I told her all about him and you guys."

"She said that she would give him one chance to get on her good side for my sake because she really likes me and if you were willing to forgive us she was willing to give us a chance too. She really is protective over you she said you are like the sister she never had."

"Yeah Rose she is like a sister to me we have been friends since I came here, we would always hang out and party. We even work at the same places the coffee shop and the bar."

"Yeah she took me to the coffee shop this morning and we sat and talked about everything, she told me all about James and all the shit he has done to you and how you guys were planning your escape. She said that she is happy that you are here with us even though she is sad you aren't gonna move with her."

"Yes Rose I see what you're hinting at and I have decided to stay here."

Rose squealed very loudly and wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my forehead and said "you promise Bella are you really going to live with us? You're not fucking with me are you?"

"No Rose I really mean it I feel so happy and I feel like I have finally found home again I couldn't leave if I wanted to and I want to be friends with Edward again too."

"Get the fuck out! You really want to see Edward and be his friend again? I thought that was going to take some begging, pleading, and force on my part to get you to speak to my brother again."

"No Rose I thought about everything and it would not be right of me to forgive everyone except Edward I know he had his reasons and I want to know why but I also don't want to hold a grudge against him. I want the family to be whole again and I will not be the cause for anyone to me missing from the house I could never do that to Esme I love her too much she is more a mom to me than my own mom has ever been."

"Really Bella you have to tell her that will make her so very happy. She hasn't been the same since we left you none of us has."

"Yeah the more I talk to you guys the more I see that. I haven't been the same either and I can't wait to cook with her again I have some recipes to show her."

"Mom and Jasper will love that I know how much they missed you in the kitchen. Did you know Jasper went to culinary school?"

"No he didn't tell me that."

"Yea he is in the kitchen right now cooking you something special. He wants to show you how much he missed cooking with you. He was in the kitchen cursing James for hurting you and wishing you were sitting in the kitchen watching him cook right now."

"Are you serious Rose?"

"Yes Bella I told you I want to be able to tell you everything and vice versa. So Bells do you like my brother too? Because I see the way you guys look at each other it's the same looks I seen you guys share as kids. It used to piss me off that you had everyone wrapped around those little fingers of yours until I realized I was around one of them too."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean Rosalie because I remember everyone jumping when your ass said jump and I think we used to even ask how high!"

"Just answer the question little sister! Before I show you how high I can make your ass jump!"

"Rose answer one thing for me first okay."

"Okay Bells one question than you answer me truthfully. But I want to know which one of my brothers you want. Do you want my twin or Edward? Because they both want your ass bad."

"Rose stop playing around."

"Bella when it comes to my family I do not fuck around I am serious they have both always held a torch for your ass. So ask the question and then answer mine."

"Well Rose do you remember the first day I met all of you?"

"Of course I do! I wanted to kick your ass the second I seen how they all were kissing your ass. I loved and hated you all at once I loved that I had a new sister and I hated that I had competition for attention but instead of getting jealous I should have joined forces with you we could have had them all eating out of our palms. Well better late than never."

"You're fucking crazy Rose that's why I love you ass."

"I know Bells now ask the fucking question before I show you crazy." By this time we were cracking up so hard my side was killing me and I could hardly breathe. I could not wait until we could go out and party.

"Well that first night Edward and Jasper started fighting. Was that over me?"

"Yes Bells after Em jumped on them and broke it up Jasper came to my room crying saying Edward always gets everything. I asked him what he was talking about and he said Edward told him you were his and Jasper could not have you because he was not gonna share. That's when I realized I had some serious competition for attention because no one ever made Jasper fight Edward he always just gave Edward his way. But Jasper would find sneaky ways to try to be by you that's why he started cooking to spend time with you. But Edward caught on to that right away and tried to put a stop to that and then Alice seen how much Jasper wanted you and she decided she was gonna have him. She didn't care about Edward because she knew that he always got his way but Jasper could be manipulated. I hated her for what she did to him but I thought it was better because he focused on her and Edward and Jazz stopped fighting."

"Really Rose I didn't know any of this I always thought that you and Jasper didn't like that I was intruding on your family?"

"At first that was how I felt because Alice no longer paid me any attention but then I realized it was her manipulating all of us except for Edward she could not get to him he got what he wanted anyway no matter what she tried. And believe me she tried to get Edward to not like you she would lie to him and try to make him break up with you. I thought she was evil for a long but now I realize she just wanted you for herself she didn't want to share."

"What do you mean Rose?"

"Well when she first met you, you were sad and lonely just like her and she thought you guys could be like twins and be partners in crime but what she didn't realize was that you were the missing part of our family and you would glue us all together. She wanted to have you all to herself and she got pissed off and hurt because Edward was winning and had you all to himself and wasn't sharing. When I would start to warm up to you she would make sure to keep up a part but with Edward she could not win. He got you anyway and when she seen that Jasper wanted you too she made sure she would have him so that you guys would be equals again. But she didn't love him that way and she could tell that even though he treated her like a princess his heart was not hers. So she decided it would be easier to get rid of you by having us leave because if we stayed she could not get rid of you. After she succeeded it broke her heart because she realized that she couldn't live without her twin and she was sad and lonely all over again. Then she seen that all of us were just as sad and she broke down and confessed all of it to me. She said that she was so very sorry for everything she had done to all of us and she did not deserve to be a Cullen and until you came back and forgave her she would stay away. She told me she was sorry for not being there for me that I she was jealous I has twin and she wanted one too and that she just wanted her family back."

"Wow Rose she told you all of that," we were both crying now and hugging each other.

"Yes she calls me every week to talk to me she says she needs to work on being a better person and then she will come back and ask everyone for forgiveness especially you, Jazz, and Edward. She is in therapy in New York and she is studying to be a therapist because she wants to help kids that are going through what she did as a child and help them overcome sadness and loneliness."

"I was really mad at Alice but now I guess I understand that she just needs help and support. I need to tell I forgive her. I know what she is going through some bad things happened to me before I came to Forks and I never told anyone about it and I guess I was hiding from my past when I was at your house. I used to pretend to be a Cullen so I could forget and when I was there I would forget and I felt safe and loved."

"Bella that makes me so happy that you felt like that because our house was not complete until you came into it. I am so glad you are back now we need to get Alice and Edward back and our family will be complete again but don't worry there is no rush not until you are ready."

"Thanks for understanding Rose I want to be ready now but I am not I still need to face this shit with James and put that asshole behind me for good."

"Yes Bella I will be more than happy to help in fact Ang told me you had to shut your phone off because he was texting and calling you nonstop all night. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No Rose your dad said I need to take it easy for the next week so after that we can deal with him together sis."

"I was hoping you would say that," Rose gave me her devil smirk and we both started laughing again.

"So Bella I know you didn't think I would just drop now did you I answered you so answer me which brother of mine do you want? Or if you do not know at least answer whether or not you like Jasper please."

"Yes Rose I like Jazz a lot in fact much more than I was prepared to handle in my life right now but I am afraid I can't be the girl he needs I am broken and not whole. And even though I still love Edward I will not trust him with my heart ever again I only want to be his sister or friend nothing more. As for Jazz I hope he is willing to be patient with me because I want to give him my heart very much but my heart is shattered right now and I don't want to put that on his plate right now he is too good to deserve that."

"Bella can't you see how much he wants to put you back together he doesn't care how much you give he. He will take whatever you are willing to give as long as you give him something I think he would still be there for you even if you took Edward back. As long as you allow him to be in your life in some way he doesn't care what it is just as long as he has something of you."

"Yea Rose I think I do see that I can see it in his eyes, I see the need and I need him too but I need to settle things with Edward first and get rid of James too before I give any of myself to him and I also have some confessions to make to him. For one I knew about Alice cheated on him in high school and I couldn't tell him because I didn't want him hurt and I couldn't tell on Alice either plus I always knew he didn't really love her like that. I kind of always figured he knew but I will feel better to get shit off my chest."

"Yes Bella you guys need to start talking and telling each other how you really feel so you can work on being happy again."

"I want that more than anything Rose but I also want to be a part of this family. How can I do that if I am coming between brothers?" I put my hands on my face and started sobbing.

"Bella they are big boys and you didn't start this they did from the first moment the both seen you, they have been fighting over you. All I can say is it is your choice of who you can give your heart and soul to. They will work it out trust me they did before and they will again. No matter what you choose you will always be member of this family even if you decide not to be with either one. Hell have them both if that's what makes you happy. My point is no matter what you're stuck with us. You have always been a Cullen from day one little sister. I think Alice always knew that because from the moment she met you she had made sure you would be a Cullen. I miss that fucking psycho pixie of a sister." Rose shook her head with an evil smile planted on her face.

"Me too Rose me too," I gave her the same evil smile back. Yea the fucking pixie sure made sure we would all be a crazy ass family. I wish she was here so I could scream at her and then hug her ass to death.

"So what did dad say about your injuries? What's the verdict?"

"He said I have to take it easy for the next week, take the meds, and sleep. He also said to avoid stress."

"Well I will be watching you to make sure you listen and I will also have Jazz and Emmett watching you as well."

"Come on Rose I already promised dad that I would behave I don't need you acting like mother hen besides I'm sure you won't need to anyway because Jazz already took the job." Just then the door opened and in walked Jazz with a tray of food in his hands a smug smile on his face.

"What job did I take?"

Rose smiled at him and looked towards me and narrowed her eyes "WE ARE all going to make sure that Isabella obeys doc's orders!"

"Okay Rose you win I'm not gonna fight you on this I promise to obey docs orders and I'm not even gonna bitch about. Besides it's not like I can just get up and leave anyway I got 4 fucking broken ribs and my face looks like shit I hope I don't scar."

"That's more like it lil' sis I knew you would see things my way." She smiled her most breathe taking smile at me and started for the door.

"Where are you going Rose?"

"I gonna leave you two to talk and let you eat. Oh and Jazz when she is done make sure she goes back to sleep and if you need my help forcing the meds down her throat I will be in my room registering us for school."

Jazz and I both looked at Rose and said "Yes ma'am."

"I'll check in on you tonight Bella in fact Em and I will bring some movies and we can all have a movie night. Mom and dad will both be gone at work so it'll be just us kids."

"That sounds perfect Rose." She smiled at me pointed to Jazz, he shook his head yes and smiled.

"What was that all about Jazz?"

"Rose just making sure I obey her orders." He smiled at me and put the food try across my lap. I looked at the food it looked and smelled amazing, the boy can fucking cook.

"So what do we have here? I see that you didn't bring my order so what the special." I gave him the biggest smile my beat up cheeks could manage.

"Well Bella I made you my famous creamy lemon chicken and wild rice soup with a grilled cheese that has pepper jack and Colby cheese. Those are still your favorite cheeses, right?"

"Wow Jasper only you could make soup and grilled cheese sound so gourmet," I said to him while stifling the giggles.

"Are you making fun of me my darlin Bella because you're lucky I can't tickle you to death?" I started laughing so hard I had to hold my ribs because of the shooting pain. Then Jasper got this evil glint in his eyes and he leaned over and held my hands to my side and licked the whole side of my face.

"Wow Bells you taste even better than you look!" He said while laughing harder than I ever saw him.

"EW Jasper that was fucking gross! What the hell is wrong with you?" I choked out through laughter and pain.

"That was so much funnier that tickling you!" He was laughing so hard he fell on the floor and said "nobody makes fun of my cooking and get away without consequences."

"Okay Jazzy I am sorry and by the way this is fucking awesome and yes those are still my favorite cheeses. How did you remember that?" I was scarfing the food down it was so good he may even cook better than me now. I might have to get his recipes.

"Sweet heart I remember everything about you." He got off the floor and came to sit next to me and handed me the bottle of pain medicine and said "now darlin' take these like a good girl and don't fight me or I will lick your entire face." He gave me that beautiful smirk and winked. It took my breath a way to see. I reached for the pills and swallowed one down.

"There are you happy now I didn't even complain." He looked at me with a devilish looked and smiled. He bent towards me with his tongue sticking out but kissed my forehead instead and I could hear him smelling my hair. So I took the opportunity to smell his scent as well it was the same as last night minus the weed.

"Wow Bella you smell amazing!"

"Jazz can I ask you something?'

"Anything darlin'"

A/N: Sorry about the cliffy..If you want to find out what she asked Jasper please Review. Just joking the next chapter should be up soon.


	6. Chapter 6

I still don't own Twilight but I love the characters

A/N: thanks to everyone that has read and/or reviewed my story and also shout-outs to those who favorite or alerted without any of you guys I probably would have given up already.. and thanks for being patient with my mistakes I'm writing this as a learning experience and hopefully my next try will be even better but it's a work in progress..Thanks.. Hope you like this one it is really long

Chapter 6

Moving On

"Um, um"

"Spit it out Bells you can ask me anything."

So I chickened out and asked the other question I wanted to know because I had to face it I really needed to smoke.

"So I sort of smelled weed on you last night. Do you smoke?"

"Well that depends on what you mean. What do you think I smoke?"

"Oh come on Jazz I smelt the fucking weed on your shirt last night."

"Damn it Bella I really didn't think you were gonna ask me that."

"So answer the question than, you said I can ask you anything."

"Why do you want to know?"

"Are you scared I will disapprove or something?"

"Well yes I am worried about that and I don't want you to think badly of me."

"Jasper I am not the sweet innocent Bella you knew in high school."

"Okay I'll bite. Do you smoke weed Bella?"

"Answer me first stop playing around Jazz."

"Okay fine yes I smoke weed but I don't want dad to know I didn't stop, I told him I was gonna quit when we moved here and I'm really trying but yesterday I needed a distraction so I would not go kill that bastard."

"Thanks for the honesty now when are you gonna smoke with me because I would really love to be high right about now."

"Really Bells you wanna smoke with me?"

"Yes it can be our secret, just carry me out to your car and we can go for a drive and get high."

"Rose will see and be pissed if I took you out of here dad was very stern when he said rest."

"Look Jazz I promise when we come back I'll go straight to bed no bitching. Is it a deal?"

"Well I guess but Rose smokes too and I promised her I would smoke with her and Emmett as soon as dad leaves, can we just wait until then, and I could carry you out to the pool where we all usually go to smoke."

"Sounds great how long?"

"Two hours or so."

"Alright give me one of those damn pills for now. PLEASE!"

"Okay Bella but what did you really wanna ask me because I can tell by the look on your face it was something else."

Fuck I knew he could read me like a book, I guess I better just suck it up and ask.

"Well Jasper I just wanted to know it you liked me when we were kids. I mean as more than a friend because the more I remember the more it seems like you did. Besides Rosalie keeps saying things that lead me to believe that Edward and you fought over me a lot when we were kids."

"Look Bella I, I still do like you more than friends okay and I want to be more than friends now and I want you to know I understand that you are nowhere near ready for anything more than friends. I know that you need to put James and Edward behind you once and for all. I also want you to know that I will wait as long as it takes and I will be the friend you need until you are ready I don't wanna pressure you in anyway. I want so much more for you and I just want you to be happy so if being just my friend makes you happy I will be happy with that, whatever you need I will be."

"But Jasper that is so unfair to you, you deserve so much more than someone like me. I am broken and I don't know when I'll be capable to give you what you need and if I'll ever be that girl the damage was done way before I ever met any of you."

"Bella I don't care about what's fair or what I deserve I only want you to be happy and I will be here for you no matter what and I am more than willing to help put the pieces back together no matter how long it takes. I don't want anyone else just you. I told you, I will be whatever you need even if it's just a shoulder to cry on. You can tell me anything, I promise I will always be here I'm not going anywhere until you make me leave."

"Jasper that makes me very happy but it's still not fair to you."

"I don't care about fair I only care about you. What do you mean you were already broken before we met?"

"Sorry Jazz that is not something I can talk about right now and I have never spoken about any of it with anyone. Just give me some time I will tell you when I am ready. Okay?"

"Okay Bells until your ready I promise."

He leaned in and gave me a light kiss on my forehead and I could swear I heard him whisper "I love you" but I let it pass.

That was almost a week ago and we haven't spoken about it since. I still haven't got the whole story out of him either he always says when I tell him mine he will tell me his. Rose is pissed because she wants us to tell each other how we feel but I don't want to ruin what we have. He still sleeps next to me every night it is so comforting and I keep telling him it is not necessary but I fear I am getting to use to it but I don't put my foot down because when he is next to me the nightmares either don't come or I wake up in his arms or on his chest and I know I must have had a bad nightmare and he just comforted me until I feel back to sleep. It scares me because I dream about him so much and I know I talk in my sleep I just hope I haven't said too much but sometimes I think I do because when I wake up he is grinning ear to ear and just says he loves mornings. Yeah right that is complete bullshit I think my sleep talking is part of the reason he loves to sleep next to me so much plus I end up in his arms almost every night. Esme or mom as I have taken to calling her comes to check on me every day and Carlisle or dad does too he says I can go back to school in a few days because I guess apparently I am a really fast healer. He says it has to do with being young. The bruises on my face are almost gone and my ribs do not hurt as bad until I am so high and Emmett has me bend over laughing. Evenings are spent in my room with dinner and a movie with Rose, Jazz, and Em. Sometimes mom joins us on her days off and those are the days we stay sober. So far Edward has kept his distance but I know that is because he knows if he pisses off Rose or me than Emmett will kick his ass. I don't think he knows about what happened because Ang told me that Rose begged her not to mention the James situation to him because he will do something really stupid. Rose, Emmett, and Edward go to my bar every few days, Rose tells me it's to keep Edward under control because she can give him updates on when I am ready to speak to him. However, he has stolen my number from one of their phones because he texts me almost as much as James and the phone calls and voicemails from both of them fill up my inbox so much that I have to erase the messages twice a day. I only answer Edward in texts and tell him I am not ready to see him face to face yet but I promise I will soon, I also tell him I am not as mad at him as I once was but it will hurt too much to see him right now that if he will please let me reconnect with mom and Rose first. He says that is understandable and he will wait as long as it takes or as long as I keep answering my texts. Jasper doesn't know about the texts because I know he will threaten Edward because I am so sad after I answer him and he asks what's wrong but I don't tell him. He says he is here to talk to, not to shut him out so I just talk about other shit like James or school the only thing I told him about Edward is I didn't want them fighting over me. I made him promise not to fight over me because I do not want to cause any more problems in the family. So he promised and I told him if he broke his promise I would never speak to him again. On a lighter note today I can go in the kitchen and help Jazz cook and not just sit and watch because dad gave the go ahead just to see how I will do, so he can release me for school in a few days. Jazz said we will be cooking lasagna because he knows how much I love pasta. Dad said I can even go to the store with Jasper. I am so fucking excited to get of this house I can almost jump up and down because all I have really seen for the last week is my room. Don't get me wrong I love my room Jasper even filled the book shelves with all my favorite books and even bought me some new ones he liked that he thought I might enjoy. I read almost all of them and they were great but I am making him take me to a book store before we go to the grocery store. I am already running out of stuff to read. Emmett bought me a video game system for my room that we all play so I need so more games for that too. Dad and mom insisted I accept one of the black credit cards that everyone in the family has and they even set me up a trust fund that has the same amount as the other kids started out with and after an hour long argument I gave in and took accepted only because Esme guilted me by saying I have too because I am her daughter.

BZZZT BZZZT

I hear my phone ringing I am so distracted in thought that I lean over and answer it without looking at the caller ID.

_**Hello?**_

_Oh my GOD Bella love you finally answered!_

I move the phone from my ear and look at the caller ID oh fuck its Edward.

_Bella Bella are you there? _

_**Yes I am here Edward, what's up?**_

_I, I just wanted to talk to you. _

_**I'm sorry Edward I didn't really mean to answer. I am so not ready for this!**_

_Bella it's really nice to finally hear your voice, please don't hang up on me! I promise I won't talk about anything, I just really wanna hear your voice the text messages are not enough. Please Bella talk to me! Bella Bella are you still there?_

_**Y-y-yes I am st-still hear.**_

I am starting to cry and I don't really want to deal with this, I just wanted to have a good time with Jasper today and forget all about this shit but I can hear him crying too. I don't know what to do so I just listen.

_So Bella what are you studying in school? If you don't mind me asking._

_**Okay Edward small talk I can deal with. I am trying to become a teacher I am majoring in English and minoring in Math.**_

_Really math! _

_**Yes all the tutoring finally paid off and I am actually pretty damn good in math thanks to you.**_

_That is great Bella I am studying to be doctor._

_**Really I didn't know you wanted to be a doctor, I always pictured you as an accountant or something dealing with numbers.**_

_Well actually Bells I am specializing in Genetics._

_**That is great Edward! Look I am really sorry to cut this short but I gotta be somewhere in a while so I need to get ready. **_

_Bella please don't hang up yet I haven't spoken to you in years I have so much to explain I am so very sorry for what-_

_**Edward just stop! This is why I didn't want to talk to you! Look I will give you your time to talk to me but right now I am not in a good place in my life. Okay! Just give me a little time you owe me that much at least! Don't you think?**_

_Yes Bella I owe you a lot more than that. I just want to say I am very sorry to my core it makes me ill to think about what I gave up. I am sorry I regret that decision every minute of every day. _

_**Alright Edward I am gonna hang up now!**_

_Bella n-_

Click

He calls back five times then the text message start to pouring in so I turn my phone off and get in the shower. I am bawling like a baby in the shower and I hear a knock.

"Bella sweetheart are you okay? It's Jasper I can hear you crying. Are you in pain? Do you want me to call dad? Bella please answer me. Bella, Bella"

I want to answer him I really do but the words just won't come out.

"Bella if you don't answer me I am gonna get Rose. Please just say you are okay. I am about 3 seconds away from breaking this door down please answer me."

"J-Jasper I, I'm f-fine."

"No you're not I can hear how upset you are. What is wrong please talk to me I can help."

"J-just g-g-go get ROSE please!"

"Alright I will get her right now!"

I turn the shower off and grab a towel and sit on the bathroom floor. Tears are running down my face and I am sobbing so hard my ribs feel like they are cracking all over again. Why did he have to call me today? Why did I let my guard down and answer the stupid phone without checking the caller ID?

"Bella open the door it's Rose."

I get off the floor and unlock the door. Rose takes one look and me and closes the door behind her. She wraps her arms around me and holds me close to her chest. I lean my head on her shoulder and cry all over her shirt. She is rubbing my back and telling me everything will be okay.

"Is she okay in there?"

"Yes Jazz I got it."

"If you think I'm leaving your fucking crazy I am not leaving until I know she is okay!" Jasper yells through the door.

"I got this Jazz go roll a fucking blunt and we will be out in a few. I told you I got this."

"Bella are you okay?"

"Jasper Cullen go do what I asked. NOW! I will handle Bella!"

"Fine! But I will be back in 10 minutes to check on her!"

Rose lets go of me and peeks her head out the door to make sure he really left. She walks back over to me and pulls me out the door.

"What is going on Bella? Bella please talk to me."

I take a deep breath and looked her in her eyes and shrugged my shoulders.

"Fuck that Bella spill!"

"Damn Rose now you sound like Jasper!"

"Bella just tell me what has you so upset. I haven't seen you this upset since the first night you came here."

"He has my phone number okay and I have been texting him but I accidently answered my phone and he started talking and I, I am not ready." Angry tears are rolling down my cheeks and I can barely keep my voice steady enough to form coherent words.

"Who has your number?"  
>"Ed-Edward"<p>

"What? How? When?"

"A few days ago I saw a number I didn't recognize so I sent the call to voicemail because I was afraid James was calling from a different number. But when I listened to the message it was Edward."

"How the fuck did he get your number."

"All he said was he got it out of one of your phones when you guys went out he didn't say whose phone he took it from."

"That sneaky mother fucker!"

"Well I was upset at first but then he threatened to come here unless I spoke to him. So I started texting him and he said he would stay away as long as I answer his texts but today I was day dreaming and my phone rang and I didn't look at the caller ID and it was him."

"What did he say to you?"

"He called me "_Bella love_" like he use to and started apologizing and saying how much he wanted to hear my voice. I told him I couldn't do this right now and he begged me to stay on the phone. I did for a minute because we were both crying and I felt bad to hang up and hurt him but then I couldn't handle it so I hung up. Then he kept calling and texting so I turned my phone off."

"I'm so sorry Bella you should have told me. I could have put a stop to it."

"It's okay Rose the texting was fine. I want to talk to him I just need to get over this shit with James first. Its, it's just so hard but I want to try and I want to be his friend. I want all the Cullen's back I want mom to be happy again."

"I told you Bella and so did mom not until you are ready. But if you want to text him that is fine I will just explain to him that is all you are capable of right now."

"Thanks Rose."

"Don't worry about it. I will call him from your phone while you get dressed so you don't fucking freeze."

"Okay Rose my phone is on the nightstand."

"Bella does Jasper know about this?"

"No I haven't told him about the calls or texts from Edward or James. But I think he knows something is going on because he asks why I'm upset when I go through my phone and I get the feeling he knows it's more than just James but I just don't want to come between him and Edward."

"Bella don't worry about them they are big boys and I really think you need to talk to Jazz about this stuff because he is really fucking worried and deserve to know."

"You're right Rose I am gonna talk to him when he comes back I promise."

"Bella Jasper just wants you to be happy no matter what. Can't you see that?"

"Yes Rose I do and Jazz makes me happy. I feel like everything shitty thing in my life disappears when he is with me. I just don't know how to tell him about the bad things. I want to but I just can't"

"Tell him please Bella you need to talk to him. Tell him how you feel. It will be so much easier if you would just let him in. He won't hurt you I promise you that. He is my twin brother I know him better than anyone and I know how he feels about you. He won't even leave you alone at night. He turns us down every time we invite him out. He says he will go when you go."

"I will talk to him when he comes back okay. I'll have him take me to my favorite place for some privacy and talk to him."

"Good I am glad."

"Rose I love you. Thanks for everything I am so glad we are sisters now. I don't know what I would do without you."

"I love you too Bells and I am glad we finally connected. I love having you as a sister too."

I put on a light blue sundress with white flowers on the bottom, it hugged all of my curves and slightly flared out at the bottom coming down to my knees I added some matching flats and I left my hair down with a blue head band in it that had a blue flower on the side of it, I decided light make-up because I knew I would be crying so just some light blue eye-shadow and light pink lip gloss. I grabbed a light zip up hoodie that was all white and grabbed my purse and went out to my room and saw Rose talking on my phone.

"Look Edward I really don't like to see her upset! I told you she agreed to the texts but no more phone calls or I'm telling Emmett to take care of you! And if that don't work I'll tell mom! I thought you would see things my way. Just give her sometime she is going through some fucked up shit right now. No I can't tell you! You will just have to wait for her to tell you! Look I gotta go! She just walked in and I don't want her upset anymore! Yes I promise I will tell her. Bye Edward! NO! I am not putting her on the phone! I told you texts only! Stop yelling at me and listen! Okay I will ask her that. Thank you bye."

She turned to face me with wide eyes.

"Wow Bells you look AMAZING that dress is hot."

"What was all that about on the phone? What was he saying?"

"Oh he made me promise to tell you how sorry he is and that he has never stopped thinking about you and he loves you and he said he is gonna text you and please, please answer him back so he can apologize for the upsetting you earlier and he promises to only text until you say otherwise."

"When is he gonna text me?"

"I'm surprised he hasn't yet. Here is your phone back."

"Thanks Rose. What am I gonna do when he texts me when I am with Jazz?"

"Tell Jazz what's going on he will totally understand. He knows you gotta face this shit and decide. I told you he doesn't care who you choose as long as he gets to be a part of your life."

"Yeah he told me that too."

"Well maybe you should start listening to him."

Just then Jasper walks through the door with a worried expression on his face until he gets one look at me and then I see him gulp and stare open mouthed.

"Jesus Jazz stop drooling and compliment the girl!" Rose says as she tries to cover up her laughter.

"Wow Bella you look absolutely beautiful."

My face turns beet red with the blush that is so clear on my face I am sure it reaches my ears.

"Thank you Jazz"

"Are you okay?"

"Yes Jazz I feel much better now Rose helped me out a lot. Can we go for a drive to a place I know? And talk just you and me. We need to say all this shit we both want to but don't. And we to start talking about all the bullshit that both of us need to get off of our chests but I just know that all this is gonna do is make shit more complicated. But I also know we can't keep all this shit hanging in the air it's time to talk and I mean you too not just me!"

"Yes of course."

He looks at Rose to see her reaction.

"Just go already Jazz but you owe me a blunt when you get back."

He takes one more long look at me and I know I should have just dressed in jeans and a t-shirt but I am so tired of casual and being in the house that I needed to feel beautiful today. And judging by his expression I accomplished it. Now I'm hoping the way I am dressed doesn't distract him from finally spilling all this shit we need to spill to each other because I really think Rose is right we really need to just let it all out.

We go out to the garage and get into his Dodge Charger it's black with some crazy rims I don't know much about cars but I guess they are 20's all I can say is they make the car really fucking hot but I don't say that out loud. When we get in I notice his outrageous stereo system complete with video screen and I am shocked because I have been in his car a week ago but shit was all fucked up then so I didn't really pay attention. Plus he didn't turn the radio on that day. He turns to me and asks my music choice and I tell him I am in the mood for Rihanna because I know he has some serious speakers in the back and her song "We Found Love" will really make my body vibrate and that's what I want to feel right now some serious bass because it will make me forget why we are going on this drive. I tell him to get on 94 East to the Indiana Toll Road and get off on Cline and take that to the Marina exit where the East Chicago casino boat is because there is a really nice secluded beach there with a pier that I love to just sit on and stare at the lake from. There are a lot of huge rocks to climb on and hide out from other people for some privacy. It is nearly sun set so it's going to be beautiful by the lake right now and it's outside of the city so we can get a break from the craziness of the city. We both need this I used to hate Forks because I was so use to the big city in Phoenix but I kind of like getting out of the city once in a while. I found this beach on my 21 birthday, I decided I wanted to go gamble on the casino boat and when James was getting drunk and stupid I went to go sit in the car and happen to see the pier from the parking garage. So I decided to go explore it. It was beautiful on that warm September night and I come here all the time to relax and I even come in the rain because sometimes I miss the rain in Forks. I never thought I would miss rain but at least Chicago has both sun and rain in the summer and it gets to be like 100 degrees so I get a taste of Arizona too but I don't like the cold winters. It was never that cold in Forks but it is nice to see the snow from inside the house. We have been driving for nearly 30 minutes and approaching our destination. I am starting to get butterflies in my stomach because I know when I confess all this shit, we have to move forward because I won't have an excuse anymore and that scares the hell out of me. I really like him and I don't want to lose him so I have to do this. And I plan on texting Edward after our talk and set up a meeting with him next week and close that chapter and move on with Jasper by my side because I know that is what we both want more than anything.

"So Bella what do you think of the sound system?"

"I really love all this bass it feels amazing."

"I always knew you were a music lover but I didn't realize you loved to feel it too." He smirks at me and I know he is trying his hardest to lighten the mood and its working because I smile back and nod.

"Well at least you like a variety of music because so do I. I was shocked to learn you even like some rap."

"Yeah Jazz living in Chicago and going to school here it kind of comes with the territory. I love all music."

"Me too I even like sappy ass love songs and crazy ass hard core rap and even some heavy metal."

"Jazz after we talk do you want to into the casino and play some games and have a few drinks?"

"I was hoping you would say that. I haven't been out in a while."

"Good because we will need to unwind after all this heavy shit but let's smoke before we talk okay."

"You just read my mind."

"Good get off right here and park in the garage we can walk to the pier from the garage its open 24 hours but the beach closes early and I don't want sand in my shoes or on me if we are going in the casino."

"I totally understand I wouldn't want you to ruin that beautiful dress or those cute shoes because I really hope to see you in them again."

I just blush and smile at him as he parks the car and comes around to help me get out. That is when I look at him and notice what he has on, he is wearing tight fitting blue jeans, a black button up shirt that is not buttoned with a black wife beater under it and a light leather jacket on, and he is wearing some black Lug boots. He is really hot and I think he notices me staring because he smiles and takes my hand.

"Lead the way sweetheart."

"Right this way Jazz. The pier is down these stairs and around that fence and we just walk until the pier ends and we can find a rock to sit on near the water so we can have some privacy. That is if you don't mind climbing down a few rocks."

"I think you are the one who should worry about climbing on rocks."

"Really funny Jazz besides you're with me and you won't let me fall and if I do I know you will rescue me."

"Yes but I would prefer to stay dry I really want to see the inside of that casino."

"Smoke, talk, gamble, and drink that's the plan unless you want to skip the talk and just party because I don't want to complicate things but I do want to open up to you and I want you to open up to me. I think we both deserve that."

"Bella we are not going in that casino until we talk because yes we both need this."

We walk out on to the pier and find a nice flat rock near the water. It is absolutely breathe taking the sun is setting and Jasper is sitting behind me with his arms wrapped around me and he is so warm I could fall asleep right here. He smells so amazing I can't help but take deep breaths to breathe his scent in and I can hear his deep inhales as he takes in the scent of my hair. His head is rested on mine and this moment is so perfect that I start to want to tell him everything no holding back just let it all out. I hope he feels it to and I think he does because he lights the blunt.

"Alright step one complete we found a lovely spot and now let's get high and start talking."

He passes me the blunt I inhale it. It tastes really fucking good it's got to be some Kush I exhale with a smile.

"Nice is it blueberry Kush?"

"No its white shark dro so be careful it's stronger I don't want you too high and then you get stuck and don't talk."

"Okay only a few hits and then we watch this beautiful sunset and then talk."

"Sounds good to me."

We take a few hits each and watch the sun go down. The sky is orange, yellow, pink, and red it is so beautiful and sitting here with Jasper's arms wrapped around me I don't ever want to leave I am finally home.

"So darlin' should I start or do you want to?"

"Well Jazz I guess I will start because I know you want to know what happened earlier."

"Yes please I have been going insane worrying why you were so fucking upset. So what happened?"

"Well when Rose and them went out last week Edward took my number from one of their phones and has been calling and texting me ever since. I texted him and told him I could only handle texts right now, no phone calls and he said okay but I was ignoring his texts last night because him and James were both texting me non-stop and I was really getting upset with it all."

Tears are already running down my cheeks but I sigh and take a deep breathe.

"Are you texting James back too?"

"Hell no Jazz I told you I am done with him. I did text him the day after all the shit happened but that was to keep shit cool with him so he doesn't ruin my shit. But I haven't answered hem since I don't even read his texts anymore I erase them and all the voice messages too."

"Do you want me to put a stop to all of this for you?"

"No Jazz this is my mess and I will handle it my way but Rose, Ang, and I are going to go get my shit next week so I can put him behind me forever."

"No you guys are not going alone! I will not have that! I will not let anything like that happen to you again!"

"Calm down Jazz we are going to go when he is at school I have a few friends that will let us know if he is not in class or if he leaves."

"If he isn't going to be there than you should have no objection to Emmett and me helping you besides you girls should not have to carry shit that is our job. Please Bella just let us help you it doesn't make you weak."

"Fine Jasper you guys can help! But I'm only getting my clothes and personal shit he can have everything else. I don't want anything that will remind me of him."

"Thank you Bella I know how hard this is for you and I am happy you are gonna let us help and I am happy you are finally telling me stuff."

"Me too."

I turn around and kiss his cheek. He puts his hand on the spot I just kissed and smiles. He moves in closer to me and whispers in my ear "thanks" as he kisses my forehead. I know he wants more but it's a start and all I am capable of right now. He takes my hand and says "please continue."

"Well this morning I was sitting on my bed thinking about things, well mostly about you, and also about all the texts Edward keeps sending me and how I feel about him. I was thinking about the family and not wanting to cause any rifts by following my heart and finally facing Edward to tell him we can only be friends. I was also thinking about cooking with you and how happy I was to get to help today and about going shopping with you and getting some new books. That's when my phone rang and I was so caught up inside my head I didn't look at the caller ID. It was Edward and I froze I wasn't ready for that but he started crying and begging me not to hang up, he told me he just wanted to hear my voice and he wouldn't talk about anything hard. We were both crying and he was making me feel guilty so I listened for a minute but then I told him I couldn't do this and he started apologizing and pleading for me to not hang up. So I just hung up the phone on him. But he still kept calling and when I didn't answer the calls the texts started so I shut off my phone and got in the shower. I was determined not to ruin our day, but then you heard me in the bathroom. Anyway Rose called Edward and told him to back off and give me some space and stick to texts. But I still have my phone off because I want to talk to you before I read the texts because I really want to get all this shit out and tell you everything. I also want you to tell me all the shit that happened in Forks no more waiting especially if you want us to move forward and when I say forward I mean baby steps. Okay?"

"Damn Bella you shouldn't be holding all this shit in. You need to tell me or Rose these things because it will help and if you don't want us to move forward that is fine because I want to be whatever you need in your life as long as I am an important part of it. If you need a friend than I'll be your friend, a shoulder to cry I am here or if you want something more than I'll go as slow as you need, no pressure. I don't want to ruin anything by pressuring you in any way. But I do want you to know that I want to be more to you than just a friend. I want a lot more but I am willing to wait as long as you need and if you decide you don't want me that way as long as I can be in your life that will be fine too."

"Jasper that is the problem I do want more I want all of it I want you to never let me go. I want to lay in your arms and never leave. It feels like home when I am in your arms or sleeping next to you. I know it's wrong to want all of this and not give you want you want and need but it's all I am capable of right now."

"It's okay to feel that way and I will hold you as much as you want and need and I have no intentions on leaving your bed until you make me because I cannot sleep unless I am next to you."

"Me either Jazz and that scares the hell out of me."

He squeezes me tighter and I feel chills run all over my body and I shiver because he sets my whole body on fire with every touch and every time he gazes in my eyes I feel like I am burning on the inside my new favorite color is crystal blue like his eyes but I think it always has been and that sets my heart racing. He starts to shrug out of his jacket and places it on my shoulders and I inhale all his scent and I feel like I am in heaven.

"Well I told you some of my shit, so now what happened in Forks? Why did you guys leave? The real reason no sugar coating no half-truths. I think I deserve that"

"Yes Bella you deserve so much more than that."

"Well start at the beginning I want to know all of it."

He take a deep breath and sighs I know this is going to be hard for him so I move to the side of him push his legs down and sit in his lap and wrap my arms around his neck and whisper in his ear "it's okay Jasper I won't think bad of you or Edward I am over that I just want the truth."

"Okay I'll start at the begining but I gonna warn you it's not pretty and some of it is fucked up and you're probably going to look at me different after I tell you some of this but I feel that honesty is the only way that this between us is gonna work. So I remember the first day you came to Forks and I saw you way before you saw me so that bullshit that Edward said about seeing you first was wrong. I was late for school that day because I was planning a prank on Edward and Emmett. I was walking up to the school when I saw you get out of your father's car I was awe struck for the very beginning. I was only 13 but I know right than that I had to make you mine. I watched from behind a tree as you made your way into the school I watched your long beautiful hair sway across your back almost to your ass and all I could think about was running my hands through your hair. I got a hard on right on the spot I was so embarrassed I stayed behind the tree because I couldn't run up to you like I wanted to and ask your name."

As he was talking he started running his hands through my hair and I felt his dick harden but I pretended to ignore it, he shifted his lap a little and I slid between his legs his hard on was now pressed against my lower back but I just leaned further in to his embrace because I did not want him to stop talking or feel rejected because he was admitting some really embarrassing shit.

"So I stood there and watched you walk in to the doors and waited for my problem to subside because I was not going to get caught masturbating behind a tree in front of the school. Then I went to my class and when I walked in I must have had some kind of look on my face because Rose asked what my problems was but I told her I was just planning a prank and she let it pass. Then after school that day I walk out into the living room and find Edward gazing at you and you gazing right back. I wanted to rip his head off and then yours eyes met mine and I melted. All I could get out was 'Hi I am Jasper I'm very pleased to meet you," and that was when Edward turned to face me and mouthed the word "mine" and next thing I know we are wrestling on the floor and Emmett is jumping on top of us to break it up. He told Edward to calm down it was only a prank because he thought that was what the fight was over. I ran to Rose's room and bitched that Edward always gets his way because he is the baby. I knew right then I would bargain a way to get to you no matter what."

He squeezed me in his arms again tighter and took another deep breathe and started again.

"So he and I fought again over you and decided that no one could have you that you would have to choose well actually that was Emmett's idea he told us if we fought again he would kick our asses and so we agreed to let you choose. I decided that I wasn't going to be all forward like Edward and just to get to know you and be your friend because I knew Em would beat my ass if I kept beating up Edward. So time went on and Edward started to get all touchy with you on the low and I knew that he was going to get you because I was going to start high school and you guys would be in middle school for another year. Then when you guys started high school mom asked us if anyone wanted to learn to cook and when I found out you wanted to learn I figured that was my chance. So I started learning to cook and Edward caught on to that shit right away and decided to join us and he would purposely touch you to fuck with me and I would get pissed but decided fighting him would only hurt you. Then when he would get bored in the kitchen and leave I would get my chance and we would have a great time. It only helped me fall harder, but then Edward would hear us having a good time and find ways to get me out of the kitchen. But then you stopped helping in the kitchen and I was heartbroken because I thought it was because of me and I cried to mom that I was sorry to make you leave and she said she would get you back in the kitchen with us. So within a few weeks he finally grew some balls and asked you out. I was furious and I went crying to Alice because Rose was no help. Alice told me that we could make you jealous and pretend to date. But I was stupid because it was all her plan to fuck with our lives and I fell right into her trap because instead of getting jealous you were actually happy for us. It broke my heart but Alice told me it was going to take time and just enjoy the ride with her because she was going to break you guys up so I could have you. Yeah I was really fucking stupid she just wanted you to herself and she knew you would not get with me after Edward because she was with me."

I turned to look at him and a single tear feel down his cheek so I took my thumb and rubbed it away. He looked in my eyes leaned into my hair and took a deep breathe. He ran his hang through my hair and sighed with contentment and then started to rub my back under my sweater and he moved his hands around to my front and grazed the side of my boobs and then ran his hands down my sides and put his hands on my waist and pulled me flush with my back against his front. I hope I wasn't leading him on because even though I was enjoying every minute of this embrace I wasn't letting is get further and I knew we both wanted to go further but I am not ready. I was getting wet and I could feel him harden again and he got bold and rocked his hips forward rubbing himself against my lower back again but this time adding a little more pressure. I let out a slight moan and he pushed hard but when I froze a little be backed off and leaned in to breathe my scent in again and ran his fingers through my hair over and over. This simple act seemed to give his the confidence and comfort to continue because he took another deep breathe and started again.

"So time went on and you and Edward seemed happy so I decided to let things just go on because I wanted you happy and I would just wait for you until Edward broke your heart because I always knew he would and I figured I could be your knight and come in and put all the pieces back together. So I told Alice that I didn't want to make you jealous anymore and just let you be happy. I knew she was seeing other guys but we were pretend so I didn't care. She told me that we could still be pretend boyfriend and girlfriend and I could do whatever I wanted to her because she liked fooling around. But I told her I was not that kind of guy that I was not going to take advantage of her that she deserved better. But she said she didn't want better she wanted fun and I was part of her fun so just play along until I could have you. I told her no but she wouldn't take no for an answer I would find her naked in my bed almost every night or she would sneak in my room and try to touch me but I would push her away and she still would not take no for an answer. I guess I became a challenge for her or something because she just would not give up. Then one day she caught me standing outside of Edward's room listening to you guys make out. I was there to make sure he wasn't having sex with you because I was gonna cock-block if I could. So I would walk by the door loudly or making noise to scare you guys and most of the time it worked because I would here you tell him to stop because someone would hear. But then Alice caught me and said she was going to tell you if I didn't start fooling around with her she even went so far as to say I could fool around with her after I was done listening. I know how this sounds but I have to tell you I had a hard-on from hearing your moans and seeing your face in my mind and she grabbed my dick and said "I can take care of this problem for you until you have Bella because you're gonna get blue balls if you keep this up" I pushed her hand away and stormed off into my room. That night I woke up to her stroking my dick in my sleep I pushed her off and told her I didn't want to do that with her."

He looked at me again to see my expression and I kept my face as neutral as possible. It actually kind of excited me to know that he felt the same I did like my body was on fire every time I closed my eyes and seen his face even back then but I did love Edward and would have never cheated on him on in fantacy.

"Please Jasper don't stop talking now. I promise I don't think your sick it's actually kind of flattering in a weird ass way and that makes me just as perverted to say that."

He cleared his throat and took another deep breathe I know this is all so hard for him to admit but I am happy he is opening up to me. Its only making me want him more which makes me just as much of a pervert as him because sometimes when I was with Edward I would think about him because I wanted him from the first time I locked eyes with him but I was scared of the way he made me feel but when he finishes I am so telling him how I really felt and still feel.

"So then one day Alice came to me and said you told her that you and Edward finally had sex in your secret meadow. She said it was time I stopped dwelling on a lost cause and get some because she could teach me so much and if I ever got my hands on you I would know what to do with them. She even said I could pretend she was you and she wouldn't care as long as I fucked her brains out. I still didn't want to do that I knew it was wrong and I didn't need her coaching because I was not a virgin like she thought because I had already slept with 3 other girls my freshman year and was continuing to visit them each week they each had a special day. I would take them out and then have sex with them I did not use them because I told them right from jump we were only fuck buddies. I just never dated and I told the girls I had someone else I wanted but we could have some fun until I got the girl I wanted. I always used a condom with every girl I ever slept with I have never had sex with anyone without a condom because that is an act I feel can only be done with someone you are in love with. I always made sure they got pleasure out of it too because I believe sex is a two way street and both parties should get off. When I told Alice all of this she said "well that is better because she preferred experienced men and I could just add her to one of my days," but I told her I didn't think it was right because it was bad enough everyone thought we were a happy couple. And by add meaningless sex to the mix seemed wrong because I didn't want her getting feelings for me because we lived in the same house and whenever any of the other girls would ask for more I would be truthful and break things off. I knew shit would hit the fan if we did the fuck buddies thing. But a few days later I heard you and Edward in his room having sex and all I could think about was you in the bed naked and I was really horny and none of my chicks were answering their phones so I went to take care of matters myself and Alice came in and jumped on top of me and started blowing me and I grabbed a condom and said fuck it if she knows this was only sex and we were already pretending to be together what harm could it do. So I closed my eyes and pretended it was you. The next day I overheard her brag to you about what happened and then I knew she was playing me and I fucked up big time. I figured I lost you and just decided that if Alice wanted me that bad I would just give in and we started to have sex on the regular. On days when I would hear you guys I would fuck the shit out of her and Alice seemed happy enough so I just went with it. But when you do things that you know are wrong something always bites you in the ass and Alice played us for the fucking fools we were."

He looked out at the lake preparing himself for what I knew was the hardest part of his life and I let him have a moment of quiet to prepare himself to finish the rest of what I so desperately wanted to hear. So I leaned back close to him again and grabbed his legs and wrapped them around my waist to encourage him that I was still with him and not ready to freak out and take off yelling pervert and asshole at him.

"Bella this next part is really hard for me to relive and I don't want you to freak out or leave so bear with me because I am not proud of what happened and I swear I have cleaned my life up with the exception of smoking a little weed and drinking sometimes but I swear that is all I do now."

"Look Jasper I told you already the past is the past and as long as you're willing to take baby steps with me I owe you forgiveness for your past as long as it's your past besides whatever happened is done and as long as you're honest with me then I am not going anywhere. I promise."

"Thank you Bella I don't deserve you but here you are even with me admitting what a pervert and asshole I was. Anyway Alice met this guy named Aro he was the biggest drug dealer in Washington and she said we could all make a lot of money if we made a few runs for him and she told me I owed her because she kept her mouth closed. I told her I didn't want to sell drugs and if she wanted to tell you to go ahead because I wasn't going to get involved in that bullshit. So she went to Edward and started weaving her web and convinced him he would be able to help you out with college and you guys would be able to move on your own and stop sneaking around to have sex because you guys could get your own place. She was able to convince him our parents would freeze his trust if he tried to play house so young. She knew how to trap him by using you as his pawn and it worked the stupid little shit started selling all kinds of shit first only in La Push and then in Forks that's when I found out. We were all at a party and you were playing some drinking game with Emmett and Alice yeah she was playing to keep you busy that was their thing she would distract you and he would sell the shit right under your nose. The problem was he was starting to sample the supply and so was Alice. That night I walked in on him sniffing a line of coke with some of the people at the party when he saw he, he said "give me a minute and I'll be out." I waited and we went outside to talk he texted Alice and told her to keep you busy because he was talking to me because I found out. I started yelling at him and he fed me this bullshit that he was only trying to make money to support you and he was only sampling to make sure the shit was good and he had it under control. So my stupid ass thinking I had to protect my little brother and stop this self-destructive path he was on before it involved you and you started using as well. So I started helping him out going on runs with him to protect him and watch out for Alice too and keep you in the dark. After a few months I was doing runs by myself or with Alice and I started sampling the shit too. Bella that shit ruins your life all you think about is getting high you don't care about anything else just when the next line you're going to sniff. I was so fucked up that I didn't even care about sex anymore I dropped all of the girls and for the first time since I met you, you weren't the only thing on my mind. I thought that was a way to finally get you out of my head because I realized that you and Edward were never going to break-up because you guys had your lives all planned out. The problem was he was starting to get so wrapped up in the coke that he wasn't making profit anymore and he was finding ways to avoid you and you didn't even notice. I was shocked because days would go by and I wouldn't see you at the house or at parties. But I didn't care enough to find out where you were. I was so fucked up myself that I was doing the shit I was supposed to sell and Alice and Edward were right along with me. Them Alice decided to rob Aro when he was asleep. She took a kilo and that is worth a lot of fucking money way too much for Edward and I to make and there was no way dad was going to give us that kind of money to pay a drug dealer off. Well it didn't take Aro very long to figure out what Alice did and he started threatening all of us he told Edward he would go after you that you were a fine piece of ass and you could start working off our debt. Edward finally woke up and stopped doing the shit that day. I did too I was not letting anything happen to any of my family because we fucked up. So I went to my dad and told he everything he was fucking pissed he wanted to send all three of us to some rehab out of state and take our trust funds away until we proved we were clean. I told my dad about the threats and he said he would pay off the debt as long as we all went to rehab and never did the shit again and if he caught us we were on our own. That really woke my ass up and I never touched coke since then. I promise Bella I have been clean for the last four years I only smoke weed and drink once in a while."

He stopped talking again and looked into my eyes to see if I thought differently of him. I took his hand and brought it up to my lips and kiss his palm and he sighed.

"Jasper I know how hard it is for you to tell me all of this and now I understand why your mom and dad didn't want to tell me and I understand why Rosalie kept her mouth shut as well. What about her and Emmett did they know what was going on?"

"No they were so wrapped up in each other they didn't notice any of the shit that was going just like you didn't. Emmett did try coke once with us near the end but he didn't like it and said he didn't get why we liked it but Rose never knew shit until everything went down. She was so disappointed in us that she didn't speak to any of us for like 6 months after we left Forks and then she broke down and cried to me that it was our faults that you weren't in her life anymore. I was shocked because I really thought she didn't like you that was when I told her all about how I felt about you and she said that Edward didn't deserve you that I did. But it was your choice and she would support whatever you choose and that I should man up and make something of myself so I could be the man you needed. I told her that we fucked it up and neither of us was going to have another chance but she said one day we would that she was going to get you back in our lives no matter what but not until we cleaned our shit up. I went to culinary school as a hobby and made some money on the stock markets to pay my dad back and I even made enough to put all the money back in my trust and pay for college. My dad said I didn't have to but I told him I owe him so much more than that that I needed to be a man he could be proud of. I am still working on that and one day I hope to make him proud to call me son and that's why I am here going to college so I can finally make something of myself. Alice exiled herself to New York to get her shit together and make up for all her sins and she apologized for everything because she blames herself for all of it but I forgive her it's just hard to tell her that. It is a lot easier to think about forgiveness with you in my arms but I know that it was my fault as much as hers. Edward got jobs in hospitals and pays back my dad his part of the money and took most of his classes online while looking for you and now he is going to medical school next semester and I think my dad is very proud. He is very happy we all turned our lives around and Edward hasn't touched that shit in four years either."

"Jasper I am so proud you guys all woke up when you did but I am sorry it took such drastic matters for you guys to hit rock bottom and-"

"Bella there is still more"

"What else is there?"

"Well I haven't told you why we had to pack up and leave."

His eyes turned sad and he braced himself to finish the rest of what happened. I unwrapped his legs from around me and turned to face him again and hugged him around his waist and burry my face in his chest then I turned back around and wrapped his arms and legs back around me.

"I just want to ask you one thing before I continue. How come you never caught on? Where the hell were you when all the shit went down? I asked Edward but he was so fucked up he didn't know."

"Jasper I am not ready to tell that shit yet but I went to visit mom that summer for a few weeks and she told dad that Phil was gone but he wasn't let's just leave it at that for now okay. Because I never told anyone any of this and that is why I was so devastate when you guys left because I really needed you guys and you weren't there. You guys left like two weeks after I came home and right after my 18th birthday and Edward told me all that bullshit right before you left. I know he only did it because he thought it would be easier but it only made me feel worthless."

I started to cry and he pulled me close to him and kissed my forehead, cheeks, eyes, and the corner of my mouth.

"It's okay sweetheart I can see how hard that is to talk about I can wait until you are ready."

"Thank you Jasper," I whispered through tears.

He steadied himself again kissed the top of my head and inhaled the scent of my hair again as he buried his face into the back of my neck. Then he rested his chin on the top of my head and started speaking again.

"Well after we paid off Aro for what Alice stole and what Edward and I owed he said that was not enough and he was going to go after you or plant drugs on us and get your dad on us if we didn't pay interest and leave town. He said we made him look bad and he needed to make an example of us. So he told us to meet up with him at our usual pick up spot or he was going to come after you. So Edward and I went we didn't tell my dad because we knew he wouldn't understand that he would just go to Charlie and put an end to all of this but Edward didn't want you to find out and neither did I. You weren't tainted by all this yet and I didn't want you to find out so we went. Aro had some of his followers with him and he said he was going to teach us a lesson in respect. He asked which one us wanted to man up and take the lesson that since we paid all the money back he would only fuck up one of us while the other watched and we were to leave town right afterward or our whole family would pay. Or else he was going to start with you. I stepped forward and said I didn't want anything to happen to my little brother and Aro smiled and his right hand man Felix grabbed Edward and held him. The other three pulled out knives and cut my shirt off and started cutting my all over my chest and stomach repeatedly while Edward was forced to watch. He told me if I so much as threw one puck he would slice Alice a new smile so I stood there and took it like a little bitch. Edward tried to fight off Felix but Aro said if he kept fighting he would tie Edward up and fuck you while he watched. Edward stopped fighting and just bunched his fists to his side and watched as I was tortured."

By this time I had tears of pain or sorrow for what they went through the tears were spilling over my cheeks and running down my face. I had no idea what happened to them and now that I know I feel like such a baby that I was feeling sorry for myself. Because Edward left for a good reason and now I knew he did all of it to protect me he even had to watch his brother get stabbed repeatedly just to keep me safe. All of a sudden everything I went through throughout my life seemed so petty and insignificant. I turned to his chest and held him as tight as I could I wanted him to know how sorry I was for blaming them and hating them and I wanted him to know how much I was sorry he suffered to keep all of us safe. At that moment I was so proud of him but I couldn't find the words and I knew that no matter what Edward said to me that I was only going to be his friend even though I respected and loved him for what he tried to do. But I loved Jasper and I would always love Jasper I wanted to wrap him up in my embrace and make him forget all the shit he went through.

"Jasper I, I am so proud of you." I choked out through sobs and he held me as tight as he could. After a minute I pulled back to look in his eyes and I saw relief and love.

"Jasper can I see your chest? You don't have to show me if you don't want to but I-"

He put his finger to my lips to stop me from talking and he took off his button-up shirt and slowly started to take of his wife beater too. It was dark out there but I could see all the scars that were present all over his chest and a few on the top of his arms. I leaned into his chest and kissed each and every scar because it was all I was capable of right now. However, this was one thing I wanted to do I wanted him to know that the scars meant nothing to me because I had enough of my own even though most of mine were on the inside. He held on to me and I kept kissing whatever scars were close to my face on his chest while I was wrapped in his arms. His body was so hot and each kiss I placed only seemed to make it hotter and I felt so happy there wrapped in his arms but I knew it was my turn to start talking.

A/N well I hope Jasper's story answered all the questions about why the Cullen's left town. I hope Jasper doesn't seem like too much of a pervert after all Bella was his crush and boy will be boys. The next chapter Bella will confess her feelings and her story to Jasper.


	7. Chapter 7

STILL do not own anything Twilight and I still love playing with her characters.

A/N: Thank you for all who take the time to read my story and I am sorry if the grammar is off like I said before this is a learning experience for me and I learn by action so please bear with me. Also I still have not found a beta yet. Well here goes Bella's story.

Still haven't found a BETA yet so this story is not beta'd do please excuse grammar it's a work in progress and a learning experience

Chapter 7

Letting it all out

I sat on the rock in between Jasper's legs looking out over Lake Michigan wondering where to start and how much I wanted to tell him. I think I should just start from the beginning and just let it all out. Letting go of all my walls that I spent my whole life building, for the first time ever, and the fucked up thing is I trust him enough to tear them all down. Even when I was with Edward I never let him know the real me. I only let him see what I thought he wanted to see. I never let Edward really know me and how I really felt about things, I mean I did love him but not the fire and passion I feel around Jasper. That was why I choose Edward in the first place because he was safe I knew that even if he left me I would move on. Even though I was hurt and went through hell after he left I was more devastated that the whole family was gone. I always thought that when Edward finally got tired or bored with me I would have Alice and Esme but they all left. I was sad when Edward left and my heart was broken and shattered because I really did love him. But I missed the whole family and the life I always imagined with them. Now when I am here in Jasper's arms I realize I loved the safety of Edward and the idea of family not the boy he was. Because if I had to face one thing Edward was a boy and I was a girl we were not grown and we did not understand what passion and life meant. Edward always showed me love but never bothered to look into my soul. He never knew the real me but I guess it's because we were too young. But whenever I was around Jasper everything was on fire, it was like an explosion that was blinding me and that scared the hell out me. It scared me because if I let him in and it didn't work I could never go on.

While all these thoughts were running rampant through my head Jasper was waiting very patiently for me to begin. He was playing with my hair and rubbing my arm in encouragement. I steadied myself taking several deep breaths, breathing in the smell of him from his jacket that I was still wearing. I turned my head to look in his eyes and my whole body lit on fire. Because I know that after I tell him how I have felt about him since the first time I saw him that things are going to change. The messed up thing is that I want them to change I want him to grab me and kiss me with the passion I see burning in his blue eyes. I want him to make me forget all the bad shit that happened to me and I want him to forget all the bad shit that he went through when our lips touch.

"Bella sweetheart is something wrong?" Jasper said with fear in his voice.

"No Jasper nothing is wrong I'm just trying to figure out how to say the things I want to say." I said barely above a whisper.

"It's okay to take your time Bella I know how hard it is to say the things that are hard. Hell I just told you things I haven't told anyone not even Rose."

He looked heartbroken like maybe he said too much and scared me away. I need to let him know that he didn't.

"Thanks Jasper I just don't know where to start. And don't worry I am very happy you told me everything. Now I just want to tell you everything I have been holding in. I want you to know that I trust you more than anyone. I want to tell you everything. It's just so fucking hard to say what I have never told anyone before. I have kept a lot of things in for so long but when I'm with you I want to tell you all of it! I want you to know the real Bella not the mask I put on for everyone else." By now tears are already streaming down my face. I cannot breath right until I inhale his scent to calm me. Yeah this is going to go just fucking great I haven't said shit yet and I'm already crying like a little cry baby bitch. What if he doesn't want to know this shit? What if I scare him away? And just like that he put all my fears to rest.

"Bella I see how scared you are and believe me when I say this" he grabs my face between his hands and stares deep into my eyes, "I want to know everything about my Bella! Yes MY BELLA like you said you feel like you can tell me anything! And you're fucking right because I want to know EVERYTHING! From your favorite color to what makes you smile to what you need me to do to stop you from being afraid! I want all of you Bella! I don't care if you don't want all of me! I fucking told you whatever you need of me I am fucking here for you!"

I looked at him and saw the truth in his words and the courage to go on boiled inside me. "Okay" I said with confidence in my voice.

"Just start at the beginning I want to know everything about you. I want to know the Bella you are so scared to show everyone else. I know you hide things I can see it in your eyes. I just want you to trust me and let me in. I promise I will never hurt you." I looked deep into his eyes as he spoke and I could see curiousness, a touch of sadness, and above all I could see the love he felt for me. I hope that is what he really feels.

I cleared my throat and faced back towards the lake. I grabbed his arms and wrapped them around me and leaned as far as I could into his chest. I hope I can get through this without breaking into sobs because I was already fucking crying.

"I guess I will take your advice and start from the beginning as you did. Before I came to Forks I lived with my mom we moved to Arizona when I was 4. My mom loved to party but I guess having me held her back. Every year I would spend two weeks with my dad over the summer and it seemed that she just couldn't wait for me to go. I would spend the two weeks with my dad in Forks but we usually were in La Push with Billy and his family. That is where I met Jacob we were best friends growing up even though we only saw each other two weeks every summer. Those two weeks were the happiest time I spent every year. I would beg my dad to let me live with him but he said a young girl needs to have a mom to take care of her needs. He had no fucking idea what she did. How many guys she brought home from the bars all fucking drunk and stupid. I was so scared I didn't know what those men would do or who the hell they were. She was using so many drugs she didn't know I was there half the time. She threated me if I told Charlie I would pay a hefty price. I was young I believed her she only wanted me there for the child support and allowances Charlie sent. There was never food in the house I would make sure I made it to school just to eat. I was shy and lonely no one liked me. I was the outcast with the drunken whore of a mother. She would even fuck some of the dads at my school and the kids would find out and call her a whore. They would call me the whore in training and throw shit at me or if I was really lucky I was ignored."

I looked out at the lake again trying to compose myself for the hard parts. Instead of hurt and pain the anger I felt for my mother started to boil through my veins like wild fire. I took deep calming breaths and counted to ten because I felt like screaming.

"For the most part the men just fucked her and did drugs with her. They ignored me and I would lock my door and put a chair in front of it so no one would or could get into my room. A few of the men tried to touch me but I would tell them my dad was the chief and they would get scared and back off. Then when I was 10 she met Phil and married him. At first she cleaned her shit up because he was a minor league baseball player and couldn't do drugs because the players were tested. Everything was finally okay she pretended to play mother of the year at first. She was cooking and cleaning and sending me off to school. Then they both started drinking and shit all fell apart. Whenever my mom would pass out drunk Phil would say things like "come on Isabella don't you want to sit on your step daddy's lap," "or come here baby girl and give daddy a kiss," I was repulsed and tried to hide from him. One night my mom was out at the bar by herself and I snuck to the bathroom as quietly as possible. That bastard must have heard me because when I got to my room I locked the door like I always did."

Now the tears were pouring out of my eyes and my fists were clenched to my sides. I was terrified to look at Jazz because I could hear his chest heaving in and out and his heart was beating fiercely in his chest. He took his hand and pinched the bridge of his nose the same way the Edward did when he was really fucking pissed off. Then he grabbed me and held me tightly to his chest like a life vest as if that would make the memories disappear and that gesture gave me the courage to continue. I took a very deep breath and wiped the tears away.

"I turned around and Phil was lying on my bed ass naked and t, touching himself. I sank to the ground and started crying for Charlie. He said "Charlie can't help me and Renee is too busy getting fucked up to care. So be a good little girl and come lie down by daddy and let me play because if you don't let me play then things will get a whole lot worse." I started sobbing and begging for him to just leave me alone. He came over to me picked me off the ground and held me against his naked chest and said "I'm only gonna play I won't hurt you as long as you be a good little girl and play along. I promise I won't hurt you not yet because that fruit is not ripe yet."

At this point I could no longer see anything I was crying so hard everything was blurry. Jasper picked me up and straightened out his legs so I was back on his lap. He was holding me sideways across his lap rocking us back and forth and I could see the tears running down his cheeks at almost the same pace as mine.

"I promise you Bella sweetheart I will always be here for you! I won't let anyone hurt you ever again! And if I EVER SEE THAT MOTHER FUCKER I WILL KILL HIM!"

"N,no Jasper you can't then you will get into trouble and will leave me! I am not telling you any of this for you to get avenge me! I just want you to know EVERYTHING! No more fucking secrets! I want us to move forward with no past to haunt us. I am telling you this because these are the nightmare that I have. These are the reasons I wake up in yours arms because you make me feel safe. When you hold me in my sleep you chase them away and I can finally sleep peacefully. I just want to put this behind me and talking about it is the only way to get rid of him!"

"Bella I can promise you I won't kill him because I never want to leave you. But I cannot promise I would seriously hurt him if I ever see his face!"

Jasper wiped the tears out of my eyes and kissed the corners of each eye. I put my hands on his face and took my thumbs and wiped his tears away as well, took another calming breath and continued.

"Phil took me over to my bed and laid us down next to each other. He started touching himself again and told me to call him daddy. I repeated everything he told me to say. I was so fucking scared I didn't know what to do. For once in my life I prayed for Renee to come home. She never did though. He continued to play with himself and started rubbing his hand up and down my thighs and under my nightgown. He climbed on top of me and rubbed himself on me on top of my clothes. I couldn't breathe because he had all his weight on me. I guess he realized this at one point because he moved back to the side and finished himself off. After he was done he kissed my cheeks and said it was our little secret and when my fruit was ripe he would be back to collect the fruit. I had no fucking idea what he was talking about I mean I already knew about sex but the way he was talking I just didn't understand shit. The next morning he went to practice and Renee finally came home. She was hung over and I told her what happened. She started calling me a little whore and a home wrecker. The next thing I knew she was calling Charlie and telling him she couldn't handle me anymore. That was the happiest fucking day of my life. I was finally gonna get away from her and go to my dad. He was the only person I felt safe with."

The tears finally stopped falling and I smiled remembering how happy my dad was when I got off the plane and was finally going to live with him permanently. Jasper notice the change in my mood and he held me closer to his chest and started moving his fingers lightly down my arm over his jacket and down to my knee. He placed his hand there to see if I was going to stop him or to see if it upset me. When I didn't stop him he kept rubbing his hand up and down my leg never putting his hand under my dress. I think he was scared because of what I just told him or he figured I was not ready for that yet. But his hands felt so fucking hot and my skin was tingling under his touch. Every time his hand moved up and down my leg it was as if the memories of that bastard flew away and hot searing heat and passion were replaced. Not even Edward could touch me without me flinching slightly from the fucked up memories when he would ask I would tell him I was ticklish and he never pressed so I never told him why.

I started speaking again to finish because for once I was not nervous because basically I was passed the worst. The rest was confessing my feelings for him and telling him where I was when all the shit went down and why I never caught on to what they were doing.

"When I got to Forks I decided not to tell Charlie anything I just couldn't face the shit. I wanted to forget and start a new life. In Forks I was the daughter of the chief and not the daughter of a whore. No one knew about Renee all they knew was she took off on Charlie early in the marriage. Charlie said I could visit her when shit calmed down he thought she couldn't handle me that I was acting out. In fact the day before school he made me promise not to cause any trouble. I smiled at him and said I loved him and not to worry that I just wanted to live with him and not Renee. He didn't understand but he didn't ask either. Then I started school and as I was sitting in the office in came Alice dancing her way towards me. I smiled at her shyly and she said we were going to be best friends and like sisters. I was so happy to be accepted that I left my past and didn't want to look back. However the nightmares were always there Phil would always haunt my dreams. Anyway that first day I came to your house and I met Edward. We locked gazes I was so taken by those green eyes I had never seen such green I couldn't look away."

I felt Jasper freeze and let his grip loosen on me a little so I turned towards him and put my hand on his face and looked into his eyes and tried to convince him to just let me finish. He looked back into my eyes and gently shook his head yes for me to continue. I saw one tear slowly roll down his face so I took my finger and caught it and shook my head no. He leaned in and smelled my hair and tightened his grip on me again. So I began because I wanted him to know that even if I was telling him things that were hard for him to hear he need to know them. I needed to put Edward behind me and I needed him to know that Edward would not me an issue. I also needed him to know that I needed shit between Edward, James, and I to finish before I took the steps to be his Bella.

"Then you came into the room and as our eyes met and instantly blue became my favorite color." I said with a bright smile.

I gestured to my blue dress to prove my point and he looked down at me and squeezed me and kissed the top of my head inhaling my scent again.

"I finally looked away from Edward to Rosalie and she rolled her eyes and walked away. Then I saw you and I looked into your eyes my body lit on fire and you were holding the torch everything disappeared except you. I couldn't feel Alice who was pulling on my arm or Edward whom was still looking into my eyes. It was only you and it scared the hell out of me I was only 12 I didn't understand what I was feeling. My whole body was on fire and then you spoke and said "hi my name is Jasper I'm very pleased to meet you," then Edward jumped on you. I didn't know what the hell was going on Alice dragged me to her room and said "boys."

Jasper was playing in my hair again and his body was finally relaxed as I told him of my first impression of him. I turned to look at him and he had the biggest shit eating grin on his face. I could see the wheels in his head turning and I knew at that point that we both had felt the same fire when our gazes met for that first time.

"Well as time went on I was so happy at your house. Alice and I became close I tried with Rose but we only bonded when Alice wasn't around. I would always catch you looking at me and I would sneak looks at you as well. But as you know Edward had other plans. I was scared of my feelings for you I was scared to be hurt. I did love Edward don't get me wrong but I never felt that fire I felt when I looked at you. I just didn't know if you felt the same and I was too scared to find out and I was scared of my feelings. I knew that you had the power to break my soul not just my heart and that terrified the shit out of me. I knew Edward loved me and I loved him in many ways he always made me feel safe and loved. Besides I really thought that you had feelings for Alice I had no idea about the other girls you were messing with. I was caught in my life with Edward I really didn't pay close attention. Any way I knew about Alice cheating on you but I didn't want to see you hurt or tell on my sister. I loved her I still do. I fucking forgive her for everything. She was fucked up like me and I don't blame her for any of it. I really fucking miss her."

Jasper rubbed my arms and comforted me but said nothing. I guess he still had hard feelings for her not that I blame him after I seen the scars that were caused because of her crazy games. Then I feel his dick harden again and he slightly bucks his hips up while I'm still sitting on his lap. What the fuck is up with that? Either he really likes me, especially on his lap, because let's face it we are having a really serious conversation here or he is really fucking horny. Not that I mind either way because it feels so good to me that his body is reacting to me like this. But it is really distracting me because I'm getting wetter by the second and ready to say fuck the talking and start grinding on his lap. My body is on fire and I need to focus because I don't want to go there yet. I really need to put shit behind me first.

I start to talk but this time it's barely above a whisper because he is not going to like what I am about to tell him. I am about to tell him where I was that summer when everything went to hell and why I was not around.

But instead I blurt out "fuck this shit is hard to say with you doing that!"

He freezes instantly and stops I turn to look at his face and it's crumpled into a sad grimace. He really looks hurt. Fuck I got to fix this!

"I didn't mean it that way Jasper! I just meant you're really making it hard to focus when I want to turn around and just let shit happen and forget everything else!" I say to him with the passion and desire in my voice.

"I would say fuck it and grab you and take you now Bells but I know we need to finish this talk. I am sorry it's just so fucking hard to stop when I finally got you in my arms and in my lap admitting how you feel about me. I will try to control myself but I can't promise my body will corporate." Jasper was blushing his ass off.

I turned and smiled at him because I could totally understand hell I'm sitting here wet as hell but there was no way in hell I was admitting that shit. So instead I kissed his cheek and wrapped my arms around his neck and played with the hair at the nape of his neck. He wrapped his arms around my body and placed his face into the crock of my neck and I felt something warm and wet move slowly from the base of neck up to my ear. It set my body and fire and I shivered. I could get used to this. I let out a moan and it excited him because he started sucking and I couldn't bring myself to stop him. He started moving his hands to my waist and I pulled on his hair more and I wanted to kiss him so bad but I couldn't. He started to leave a trail of kisses up the side of my neck, then up the side of my cheek, and to the corner of my mouth. He pulled away and looked into my eyes and down to my lips asking for permission. So I crushed my lips to his with the passion that was flowing through my body and at first he was caught off guard but then he returned the passion with just as much force. He licked my bottom lip and I opened my mouth slightly to allow entrance and we started move our tongues like a dance. I don't know why but my body started moving on its own and I was grinding on his lap. He reacted by trusting his hips up into me and I yelped in surprise and he smiled against my lips and then he deepened the kiss and I was lost in the fire and passion. My hands were tugging in his hair and his were moving up and down my torso and around my back and then finally into my hair. When his hands made it into my hair he broke the kiss so we could breath and kissed up and down my neck again. We were both moaning and I was still grinding on his lap and he was thrusting himself into me harder. I leaned my head back and gave him better access to my neck and he started licking, biting, and sucking on it. My body was on fire and I didn't want him to stop so I adjusted myself in his lap so my legs were wrapped around him and my dress was hiked up to my thighs. He grabbed me and pulled me tightly to his body and wrapped his arms around me and thrust his hips up hard into me. I could feel how hard he was through his jeans which were rubbing against my panty covered pussy with every thrust.

"We need to stop because if we keep this up I won't be able to stop!" Jasper said breathlessly.

All I could respond was "mmm uh!"

So he pulled away from me and I stood up fixing my dress and he pulled me back onto his lap.

"I never said you could get up! Just that we needed to slow down because I want more and I know you're not ready. Please don't get up I still want to hold you in my arms!" He had such a sad look in his eyes and I wanted to be in his arms anyway because it gave me the courage to tell him these hard memories. So I settled back onto his lap and he smiled and put his arms around me and started rocking us back and forth. He brought his lips to my ear and nibbled it. Then he whispered "please finish I want to hear the rest I'll behave myself now scouts honor." He gave me a smile and I returned it.

"The end of my junior year was approaching and we were all going to lots of parties as you know. Obviously I was too drunk to notice what was going on with you guys but I did know something was up. You were no longer helping in the kitchen it seemed that you were gone all the time and I just figured you were enjoying your senior year. Edward always wanted to hang out with you so I figured he was sad you were going to leave for college and wanted to spend as much time as he could with you. So I tried to give him his space but he always showed up at my window every night. He even showed up on nights that I refused to party with you guys. I was hanging out with Jessica a lot back then because I wanted to give you, Edward, and Alice space. Rosalie wasn't an option because I thought she didn't really like me. So one day Renee called me and said how sorry she was for everything and that she realized her mistakes and was in rehab. She told me she was sorry for what Phil did and she got rid of him and was divorced and she would be out of rehab at the end of May. It was April and school was going to end in the beginning of June so I told her I would visit her in the summer. My dad wouldn't say no because he didn't know anything about the drugs or men or about Phil. I figured that with me in Arizona Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and you would have more time before you guys went to college. So I decided to go and see if she really changed I made sure I had enough money saved so I could leave whenever I wanted too. I tried to tell Edward where I was going and that I would be gone for some or all of the summer. But he was so distant he wasn't showing up at my window at night anymore and when I was over at your house Esme and I were cooking alone. Carlisle, Esme and I were eating alone most of the time sometimes Emmett and Rosalie would join but Edward, Alice, and you were never home. I told Esme my plans for the summer and she told me that if I was ready to visit Renee that I should because my senior year would be too crazy to do it then. She had no idea what happened to me as a child and only knew that Renee sent me to live with my dad because I was acting out. She asked me about Renee and what happened but I told her I didn't know why she sent me away that I was a good kid but maybe she just wanted to spend alone time with her new husband. Esme frowned and took me out for a weekend of alone time. The two of us spent that weekend at a spa it was so fun. That was the first time I had ever done that with anyone I was so happy I never wanted to leave. I wanted her to be my mom so fucking bad. The fucked up thing was that none of you even knew we were gone the whole weekend not even Rose. When we came back that Sunday with bags in our hands Edward was on his phone in the living room calling me frantically. My phone was going off in my pocket and Esme and I looked at each other and I shrugged just as Edward looked up and saw us. He came running over to me and pulled me into his room. He held me tight and asked where I was. I told him to listen to his voicemails and check his texts. He did and then he turned to me and said he just found his phone and was going crazy. I looked at him like he was crazy and he said "what?" I said I was gone with your mom all weekend you could've called me from another phone. He looked shocked and shook his head. I had no idea what he was thinking but I guessed he didn't know I was gone all weekend. I was so hurt by this I thought maybe he was seeing another girl or something. So I decided that I wouldn't tell any of you except your parents where I was going for the summer. I didn't even tell them that you guys didn't know I figured when Edward got worried he would call me. I left two days after the graduation party for you, Rose, and Emmett. Renee didn't even show up to the airport I was hurt but not shocked it wasn't the first time she forgot to pick me up. I took a cab to her house and when I got there she started crying saying she was so sorry she mixed the times up. I hugged her and said it was okay. The first two weeks were great we spent every minute together she was on vacation from work so we took a side trip to Texas. I wanted to go to Corpus Christi to see the ocean and enjoy a hot beach. It was the best time I ever had with her in fact I was even starting to call her mom. Then we went back to her house and she went back to work. The first few days were fine I was bored during the day but it was okay. I enjoyed the heat and thought about all of you guys wishing that Edward and Alice were with me to enjoy the sun and I wished you were there to cook with me. I even wished that Rose was here to go hiking in the desert with me because we both enjoyed hiking and the sun. I missed Emmett and his laugh. I called Edward a couple of times and even texted him but no answer. I tried Alice and Emmett but still no reply. So I decided to call you. Do you remember?" I asked Jas with slight hestation in my voice because I really hoped he remembered that.

"Are you talking about the night that you were crying that Edward didn't love you anymore?" Jasper said and I could see that he remembered the call.

"Yes I was so fucking upset I couldn't even talk. I thought you were drunk or something because you sounded so distant just like Edward. So I lied to you and told you I was in Port Angeles and I would call you the next day."

"Bella I was so fucking coked out I couldn't think straight after you hung up I called Edward. He was so fucked up he had no idea where you were he said he had seen you that morning and you were fine. I had no idea you were gone for more than two weeks. I don't think he even had any idea of what day it was. I drove to your house and climbed your window when I didn't see you in there I drank a whole bottle of Jack to come down off the coke and clear my head. I sat in the woods by your house for hours waiting for you, in fact your dad wasn't there either, and so after I sobered up a little I drove to Port Angeles. I drove around that shitty town all night looking for you. I was calling and texting you but you never answered. I was so fucking upset I just wanted to be there for you and I couldn't find you. That was the night I realized it was time to quit. I knew I couldn't keep this shit up because Edward was losing you and I knew I was about to have my chance. I know how fucked up that sounds but that is what drugs do to you they fuck your head up." His eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

"Yeah after I spoke with you I broke my phone I never received any of your messages. I was so fucking upset when you told me that Edward had seen me that morning because yes you said that out loud. I couldn't believe that the people I called family had no fucking idea I had been gone for over two weeks. I wanted to crawl into myself and die. But then I thought about how good things were going with Renee that I thought maybe I could just move back with her since you guys didn't give a shit about me anymore. I was so upset I thought Edward had moved on. I could handle that as long as I had Alice and Esme so I figured I would go back to Forks in July and tell you guys I was moving with Renee for my senior year." Tears were welling up in my eyes as I remembered how distraught I felt that night.

Jasper squeezed me close to him and the tears started to fall.

"I am so fucking sorry Bella! After that night I went home and went to bed when I woke up I needed a pick me up. So I found Alice and Edward at Aro's house and we all partied for like three days straight. I forgot all about the conversation until you came back the next week," Jasper said with two tears falling down his nose because he was leaning into my neck again. So I continued.

"After that phone call I was so upset I found a bottle of vodka in Renee's cabinet and got so drunk I passed out. I didn't even realize that Renee never came home that night. The next morning I was hung over and went into the kitchen for some coffee and aspirin. When I came into the kitchen I noticed the food I cooked was still out so I went to Renee's room and found it empty. I went back into my room for my phone and remembered I broke it. There was no house phone so I had to wait for her to come home. I just figured that maybe she was tired after work and didn't put the food away and maybe she just didn't want to bother me so she didn't wake me up before she left for work that day. So I cleaned the house and cooked a nice dinner so I could ask her if she wanted me to move back with her. But that night she came home at 1am drunk off her ass with Phil carrying her up to her room. I was so fucking shocked I couldn't move from the couch. He came into the living room and sat on the chair across from me and stared at the TV. He didn't even look my way so I finally got up and went to my room. I wasn't scared because he never looked my way so I locked my bedroom door and tried to sleep. Around 3am I heard someone try the door handle but he walked away after he realized it was locked. I was relieved and decided to leave for the airport that morning and wait for the next flight home. I was so fucking upset that she had lied to me I wanted to beat the shit out of her. I had no phone to call anyone so I laid in bed and cried my eyes out. Like an hour later I heard someone at my window. My room was on the first floor I was so fucking scared I had no idea what to do because I was terrified to open my door. All of sudden my window opened and in crawled Phil. I was frozen in place I didn't know what to think or do so I started crying for Edward. I was yelling at myself for breaking my damn phone because I could've already been gone. He came towards me and sat on the bed next to me. He asked who the fuck was Edward I told him he was my boyfriend and it was none of his fucking business. He said what kind of boyfriend lets their girlfriend come to visit their whore of a mother alone. He said how Renee came the bar and was bragging how beautiful and smart her daughter turned out to be. So he decided to slip her some shit and come see for himself. He said she has been getting fucked up for a while anyway but she said she wasn't doing shit while her daughter was home. Then he put his hand on my leg and said "is my fruit ripe yet or did you let that boyfriend of yours taste the sweet nectar." I started to cry and beg for him to just leave me alone. He said that if my sweet nectar was gone that that was okay because then he could fuck me nice and hard since I was experienced. He said how beautiful I turned out and I was sexier than he ever imagined and it was okay that I was ruined because of how sexy I was. He said it was better because he would enjoy it more since I would know what I was doing. He started to move his hand further up my thigh and I punched him in the eye and tried to run for the door. He caught me and threw me on the bed and held my hands above my head and he said "I love when you fight it turns me on." He rubbed his hard dick against my thighs and said "see how much I love you. I have been waiting for a very long time for you to come back to me."

The tears started falling down my cheeks again as the memories of that horrible night flashed before my eyes. Jasper wiped them away and rocked me back and forth. Whispering in my ear that he was here and he would always be here for me. So I sucked in a much needed breath and spoke again.

"I tried to get free from him and he started to kiss all over my face. When he put his tongue in my mouth I bit it and he smacked me across my face that gave me the opportunity to kick him as hard as I could in his balls. He fell to the floor holding himself and I ran up to my mom's room and grabbed her phone. I called 911 and locked her door. He was up the stairs and trying to break down the door I didn't tell him I called the police because I didn't want him to run. The police showed up and found cocaine, heroin, and meth on him. They also found cocaine on Renee and took them both to jail. They asked me what happened and I told the officer everything but I told him that I didn't want to press charges because I just wanted to go home to my dad and I didn't want to ever have to come back here. The officer told me that I should press charges but I refused I told him that the drug charges were enough to keep him away from me. The officer said I should testify so he couldn't do that to another girl but I just couldn't do it. I just wanted that shit behind me. The officer finally let it go and called my dad. He told my dad that he had to come pick me up from Arizona because I was a minor and they needed him to sign some paper work. My dad flew out the next day and met me at the police station. The officer told me to tell him what happened with Phil or he would. So decided to tell him everything myself I told him about Phil drugging Renee and about Phil attacking me and I also told him about Renee being on drugs and drinking. My dad was pissed and happy that Renee was locked up. He wanted to kill Phil and he was upset that I didn't want to press charges but when I told him I never wanted to have to relive that again in front of a judge and jury that that was too hard he relented. We went to Renee's house and got all my things. He bought me a new phone and told me to get a hold of Esme because she was worried sick. He told her something happened at Renee's but he didn't know all the details. I begged him not to tell any of you about the attack just about the drugs he said he understood that it was too hard and he promised never to speak about unless I wanted to. I called your mom and told her Renee was hooked on drugs and that she went to jail because the cops found drugs on her. She was so upset about what happened to me she said she would meet my dad and I at the airport and she would take me to talk if Charlie was okay with that. Charlie was so happy he thought I would open up to her and tell her everything so he agreed. She met us at the airport and Charlie left for Forks. Esme and I stayed in Seattle at a beautiful hotel and spent the day in a spa. She asked what happened and I told her half of the story leaving out the part where Phil attacked me. But I did tell her that he tried to climb in my window so I called the cops. I knew she knew I was leaving shit out but she never pressed so I never told her. I think she figured I would tell her when I was ready to talk. That day she told me that she was my mom and I could always call her mom that she has always thought of me as one of her daughters."

At this point the tears that were welling up in my eyes were happy tears for Esme my mom. I turned to look at Jasper's face to see how he was handling these fucked up memories. I could see the rage in his eyes and his was clenching his fists next to his legs. I grabbed one of his hands and brought it to my lips and kissed each of his knuckles and then grabbed the other hand and did the same. He started to relax and started to pull his jacket off my arms. I let him take it off and he pulled me close to his chest and then placed the jacket over my legs.

"I just needed you to be closer to me. I want to feel you against my chest and not that leather jacket. It calms me to have your body heat pressed against my chest and to have your scent fill the air between us it brings me comfort. If not I might jump on the next plane and break my promise to you and I don't want to do that. I am so, so sorry that we failed you Bella. I promise you I will never fail you again. I never want you to leave my arms ever. Please Bella please just promise that you will always be my friend at the very least even if you don't want me as your man. Just always allow me to at least hold you in my arms. I can live with that if that's all you want from me but please never take yourself or your embrace away from me!" Jasper said through the tears that started to fall from his eyes.

"NEVER! I promise Jasper! I never want you to stop holding me either I have never felt so comforted in any one's arms. You are giving me the courage to finally get all of this shit off my chest. I haven't ever felt safe enough with anyone to tell them the things I am saying to you. Not even Rose or Esme I mean mom. I am telling you this because I want us to have the best chance possible at the life we both deserve. I want you to know me the real Bella and this is the best way I know how by telling you everything. If we can work though our pasts together our futures will be easier to hold on to together. I really want you and me to be together. Every time I look into your eyes or feel your touch it's like my entire body is on fire and you're holding the torch. I just need to get my past put behind me and once I face Edward and get rid of James we can be finally be together. But I need to do this shit first before we move forward. I know it's not going to be easy but I really need Edward to understand we are over for good that I can only be his friend. I also need to know that I won't come between you and him because that will kill me. I do not think I could handle that and I am sorry but if you guys fight over me I will probable leave. At the very least I would move out and visit and just be yours and Edward's friend because I will not lose mom, dad, Rose, or Emmett over you two fighting because of me. Please promise me." I looked deep into his eyes so he would understand just how serious I am.

"Bella I promise I will not fight Edward. I do not want to lose you and I will do anything to make sure of that! I also promise to wait until you are ready and finish whatever you need to finish in order to move on. But I cannot promise that Edward won't fight for you because we both know he will. I do promise I won't hit him but I will fight for you but not physically! I will not touch my brother but I will not let you leave without fighting for you. I do promise that I won't let it become an issue with the family they understand how I feel. They all know how I feel about you and they will accept whomever you choose." He looked at me as deeply as I was looking at him and I could live with that as long as he didn't physically fight Edward.

"Okay Jazz I can live with that because I know that no matter what Edward will be upset. I just hope that he can move on quickly but I am not stupid enough to believe he won't put up a fight. A few weeks ago I would have thought different but now that I know what happened I understand he was suffering just like I was. I am so sorry that I can't give him what he wants but the truth is I have always felt this fire burning inside me for you. I am finally brave enough to embrace it!" I turned towards him and put my arms around his back and held him to me inhaling his scent and he pulled me even closer and kissed the top of my head. I shifted my legs over his the top of his right leg and settled my ass in between his legs so I could lay the side of my head on his chest while I finished my story.

"After your mom and I finished our day at the spa we went back to the hotel. We were sitting crossed legged on one of the beds and I asked her where everyone was. She told me that Rose and Emmett went to California with dad that he had some medical conference and they wanted to visit Disneyland. She said that Alice, Edward, and you were supposed to be at a concert in Tacoma for the weekend so she and I could stay there if we wanted or I could call Edward or Alice to let them know what was going on. She told me that none of you guys had answered her calls earlier but I could try or at least leave a message so when someone turned their phone on they could pass the message to the others. I told her I would really just like to stay with her that I wasn't ready to tell everyone yet that Renee was a drug addict and what happened to me. She told me she understood and she was here to talk and help me through this. So we spent the weekend there. On Sunday we came home but I had her drop me at my house so I could spend some time with Charlie and she said okay. I knew she was upset because none of you ever answered or called back that whole weekend. I knew she was pissed and you guys were in deep shit so I went home so she could deal with you guys without me there. I waited for Edward to call or show up but two more days went by and no Edward. Finally on the third day Alice called me and asked what the fuck happened and how I ended up in Arizona. I told her about talking to Renee over the previous months and how I had planned to visit her. I told her that the rest was a face to face conversation and we made plans to have dinner in La Push at a little spot we used to visit every once in a while. She agreed to meet me there the next day at 5pm. Later that night Edward showed up at my house he was so fucked up his couldn't climb in my window. Instead he pounded on my front door because Charlie wasn't home he was working night shifts at the time. I went down and opened the door he was so fucked up he couldn't even stand. I yelled at him for driving like that and told him to go lie on the couch and get some sleep. He fell to the floor on his knees and was crying. I didn't know what was wrong with him so I pulled him up and walked him to the couch. He laid his head in my lap and cried. I knew he was on something but I never got a clear answer out of him. He fell asleep a few hours later and I left him on the couch. I knew Charlie would be home at 10am so I figured I could get Edward up before then and we could leave in the morning to go talk at our meadow. I wanted to tell him everything that I was feeling and everything that happened I even thought maybe I could tell him about Phil. The next morning I woke up but he was gone. I found a note that said he was sorry and to call him when I woke up so we could talk. I was so scared because that was not like him to leave without waking me up to say goodbye. I called him right away and he answered he said to meet him at our meadow in an hour. I went to the meadow and waited he showed up 3 hours later. He came to me and picked me up and was hugging me and kissing me crying that he thought I wouldn't show up or that I had left because he was late. We sat down and I told him where I was and why. I told him everything except about Phil. He kept saying sorry and things were going to change that he swore there wasn't another girl. I could see that he was telling the truth but I also knew he was hiding something. He begged me to forgive him and he promised that things would get better and back to the way they were. He made me promise never to leave like that again without telling him. I cried and told him how could he ask me that when he didn't even notice I was gone. I asked him how the fuck he found out and he said Alice told him to listen to his voicemails. He said as soon as he heard them he drove to my house and he knew he should have never been behind the wheel in that state. I asked him where the hell he took off to that morning and he said he had to help Alice with something important. I asked what and he said that was for Alice to tell me that is wasn't his place. I let it go because I was going to meet up with her in a few hours. I told him my plans with Alice for later that day and he begged me to cancel that he needed me to stay with him. So I told Alice to change the plans for the next day and she agreed saying she wasn't going to make it anyway that she had plans with you anyway. Edward and I stayed in the meadow until dark and then we went out to eat at the place in La Push that Alice and I were supposed to go to. That night after my dad left for work he stayed with me. For the next few weeks everything seemed okay he was acting like the old Edward. We spent almost every minute together except for the few hours before my dad left for work. He said Esme and Carlisle knew he was staying with me and I called her to make sure it was okay and she said yes. I was a little shocked but I she told me she knew I didn't want to be alone and to be safe. The rest of the summer was good we all partied together again and everything was back to normal. Rose and Emmett were getting ready to go away to college and I thought you were too even though I barely saw you except at the parties. Alice, Edward, and I even went school shopping together in Seattle a few weeks before school started. Then the week after school started Edward came to me and told me he didn't feel the same about me and he wanted to move on with his life without me."

The tears started to fall yet again as I remembered how crushed and hurt I felt as he spoke the words that would change my life. I put my face into Jasper's chest and inhaled his scent and I started to feel relaxed again. He was rubbing my back to comfort me and leaned his head against mine. I reached deep inside myself and found the courage to continue.

"After you guys left my life felt empty I was lonely and heartbroken I didn't want to do anything. The first week I couldn't even get out of bed to go to school. Then my dad threatened to put me in a hospital to get help because he had no idea how to help me. That woke my ass right up I started going back to school and pretended everything was okay. I went to school got good grades and would come home and cook and clean. I didn't go out or talk to anyone besides Charlie and that was only if he asked me a direct question. After a few months of this he suggested therapy so I decided to start hanging out with Jessica to get Charlie off my back. Then I went to a party and hooked up with Mike. I dated him breifly until I found out he was fucking Jessica, so I dumped his ass and he started a bunch of shit at school. For a few weeks everyone at school was gossiping about me so I started hanging out with Jake. He helped me out a lot I even thought of him as my sun in the dark night that I was living in. But he fucked that up when he said he was only taking pity on me and said all that other bullshit I already told you about. I still haven't spoken to him and that was almost four years ago. Every time I change my number Charlie always gives it to him so I gave up and stopped changing it. I never told Charlie what happened between Jake and I he still doesn't know why I am so pissed at him. I won't tell him because of Billy besides that shit was so long ago I don't even care anymore I just refuse to speak to him. I know that I should just hear him out and forgive him and I think now that I have you I can finally accept his apology. Anyway after the shit with Jake I decided to accept the scholarship to Northwestern. I met Angela and James shortly after I came to Chicago. At first he was a really great guy he treated me like a princess. Everything was going so great I was finally happy and it stayed that way for the first year. Then he started drinking and calling me names and putting me down. We were already living together and I dealt with it because I couldn't get into a dorm. Then the physical and sexual abuse started and I felt stuck I had nowhere to go so I endured it and didn't tell anyone. I always knew that Angela suspected it but James was pretty good at not leaving marks on my face. At the time I felt like I deserved it like I was the one causing him to hit me and abuse me but then when I found out I was pregnant I knew I had to get out. I wanted a better life for my child so I finally confided in Angela and we planned my escape that was when you showed up Jazz. You were like a fucking light at the end of a really dark tunnel."

I smiled as I remembered how I felt when I saw him and then I frowned remembering how bad I treated him. I kissed his cheeks and held him close he held me again and kissed my lips lightly.

"I am so sorry for how I treated you that first day I saw you Jazz." A tear escaped my eye and he kissed it away.

"Don't worry about darlin' I am just so happy to have you in my arms again that I could care less if you slapped me in the face that day as long as I had the chance to explain things. Now that I can finally have you in my arms I would have endure that beating you took a million times over just to have you here in my arms. I wish you would have never endured such things. I wish with all my heart I could've made it to you before he put on finger on you but I am happy I was able to save you when I did. I love having my Bella back I never want to be without you again!" Jasper said in a very serious tone that melted my heart.

"Never." Was my reply.

"Jasper being here is your arms I am happier than I have ever been. The way I feel every time you touch me or even look at me is like my body is on fire with passion and it's boiling in my veins and heart and I am finally not scared of it! I am ready to embrace it and let it consume me! Then warmth of your hands and body makes me feel like I'm finally at home and safe. I never want that to end!" I said as I held him as tight as I could. I kissed him on his lips with the passion I was feeling and he returned the passion right back and held on to me as if his life depended on it.

"Bella darlin' every time I look into those chocolate eyes or feel the sparks that run through my body as you touch me I know that I could never let you go! I want to hold on to you and never let you go! I want to build us the happiest life any people have ever had. I want to show you how beautiful a person you are and how much love you deserve. I want to give you everything you could possible want or need starting with my heart! My heart has always belonged to you and I'm willing to wait as long as it takes for you to be ready to take what was always yours! My Bella, you were always and will always me MY BELLA!" He gave me the most sensual kiss I had ever experienced after he utter these words that made my heart ache to become the Bella he deserved so much.

"Okay Jazzy let's go have some fun in that casino and enjoy the rest of this beautiful night! I want to gamble, drink, and smoke then sleep until noon and move my shit of out James' place and but that shit behind me forever! Then I want to call Edward and tell him about us and hopefully explain to him that he and I can only be friends.

"The gambling, drinking, and smoking part sounds like fun darlin'! And the rest I will be there for you holding your hand or doing whatever you need me to do to make sure you are okay!" Jazz said with a grin. He took me off his lap and got up and pulled me to him for a chaste kiss on the lips and took my hand. We climbed back up the rocks and walked down the pier and into the parking garage and made our way into the casino hand and hand. We had huge grins on our faces and were ready to enjoy our first night out together.

A/N: well that was Bella's story hope you liked it. Until next time thanks to all that take the time to read my story. Two songs that make me think of this story "We Found Love" Rihanna and "Patience" Guns and Roses


	8. Chapter 8

Broken Heart

Twilight still not mine but I read the series every few months (yea I'm that addicted!)

A/N: Sorry this one is a short one. It's filler. I promise the next one with be longer and have some action. Sorry I still haven't found a beta. **Beware not BETA'D**

Chapter 8

Stepping Back to look at life

I wake up at I feel two strong warm arms one is laid over my hip and the other is under my head. I'm confused and don't remember coming to bed at first so, I look down and see I'm dressed in grey sweats and a long blue t-shirt. I let out a sigh of relief and turn my head slightly to see Jazz sleeping peacefully. Then the whole night comes crashing down on me. I remember our talk and then the kisses and touches we shared. Oh shit what the fuck was I thinking I really must have been high and upset to let that happen. Then I remember walking in the casino and drinking a lot. I don't quite remember how many drinks I had but I do remember winning like $400 and then sneaking out to the pier again to smoke. That's where it all gets hazy. I'm wracking my brain trying to remember what happened after we smoked. Bits and pieces start to come back slowly. I remember him pulling me close and kissing me and saying we weren't going any further until we were sober and when I was ready. Oh my GOD thank goodness he was a gentleman. What the fuck is wrong with me! Then I remember going back into the casino and him ordering us water to sober up. We stayed in the casino until he said he was sober enough to drive. Good thing I wasn't driving because I was not sober at all. I remember coming to my room and changing and him knocking a little while later. Asking if he could please sleep next to me and promising nothing would happen.

I am starting to feel slightly uncomfortable in his arms. I really don't know why. It's starting to freak me out because I really want this but I don't know if I'm ready. I really want to just say fuck it and go with the flow but I've been hurt too many times. I don't think he will hurt me especially after all the shit that we talked about last night but I'm still scared shitless.

All of sudden I remember I never turned my phone back on and fuck I promised Edward I would text him back, fuck. I have this really bad feeling he is going to show up. I slowly untangle myself from Jasper's arms and grab my phone from my purse and go into my bathroom as quietly as I can. I power up my phone and turn the volume off. As soon as it is loaded the texts started pouring in. Fuck, fuck, and fuck this isn't good! I open the messages and there are 20 from Edward, 10 from Rose, 5 from Angela, and 10 from James.

I erase James' without even reading them. Then I read Angela's.

_Where r u? __**A**_

_Hey! Where r u? Rose said Jas and u were going 4 a ride that was hours ago text me back so I no ur good __**A**_

_BELLA wtf answer ur phone! __**A**_

_B please text me back I'm really starting to get worried __**A**_

_If ur out wit Jas just let som1 no…k we r just worried. Rose said ur not answering her either __**A**_

Shit! I need to text her to let her know I am okay.

_Sorry Ang I was out with Jazz last nite and 4got to turn phone back on! :-[…. I am at da house now k __**B**_

I go to look at Rose's texts next because I don't really want to see Edward's, yet. But then my phone alters me to a text so I open it.

_WTF Bella NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! U scared da SHIT out of us! Y didn't Jasper answer his phone either! Rose was texting & calling him 2! BTW I no u came home last nite Rose called me at 3am when u finally got home..I no u r an adult but I worry. So what happened? r u & Jas finally hooked up or what? When can I meet him? He hasn't came out with Rose & them so I haven't met him __**A**_

_Damn girl what's wit da book 4 a text? I'm sorry k…won't happen again promise *fingers twisted*…no we did not hook up! I'm not ready 4 that yet! But we did talk a lot __**B**_

_GREAT! When u coming out? I wanna see u I miss u __**A**_

_IDK Maybe tom. Nite ok….give me sum time to process shit..besides I'm a lil hung ova from last nite __**B**_

_KOO sounds GREAT! I'll c u tom. no excuses Bells ILY __**A**_

_Me TOO U! OK c u tom. Nite BYE __**B**_

_**A**_

Well I guess I'm going out tomorrow night. I bet Rosalie and Emmett are going to be ecstatic. I hope shit isn't going to get awkward with Jasper when I tell him I want to slow down. The make-out session last night was really fucking great but I need to settle all this other shit first. I just hope he will understand. I have a feeling I am going to hurt him. Especially when I tell him I plan on calling Edward to go talk. I hope I don't lose Jazz but I have to get this shit done and I also need to go get my shit from James. That is going to be a problem because I don't plan on letting Jazz go. I just don't trust him around James he might end up in jail. Maybe Edward would take me; I mean I am hoping we can be friends again. I hope he can accept that. I am finally healed enough to see Edward; the bruises on my face are gone and my ribs don't hurt anymore. I can go back to school on Monday. I miss school so fucking much!

I opened my phone again to check the messages Rose and Edward left. I also want to text Edward to let him know I want to go somewhere to talk. This is going to be so hard. I am not sure what to say without breaking his heart. I was really pissed and hurt when he broke my heart but revenge is not my cup of tea. I just want to move on and be friends. I really want Jasper in my life but I am not sure how to accomplish that without hurting Edward. Why do I even care? What the fuck is wrong with me? I mean I don't want him, right? I am so confused I think I need to talk to Jasper; it's not fair to him to lead him on. I don't want Edward though I want Jazz; I've always wanted Jazz but I can't deny I am scared to death of my feelings for him, still. What do I do? I really need to talk to someone, but whom? Maybe after I see Edward I will know for sure that my feelings for him are gone. I mean I feel like they are but I haven't seen him face to face in over four years. What if it all comes crashing back? What did I do to Jasper? I am a really fucked up person; I can't hurt either of them like this. Shit, shit, shit what am I going to do? I really need to clear my head with some coffee, for this damn hang over. UGH! My head is killing me! First the texts then some really black coffee.

I read Rose's texts first best to save Edward's for last.

_Bella where r u and Jazzy? __**R **_

_What time r u guys gonna coming back? Or do u want Em and I to cum out with u? __**R**_

_Bella it's been like 5hrs…Y aren't u guys answering ur phones or texts? __**R**_

_ISABELLA TEXT ME BACK ASAP! __**R**_

The texts pretty much keep growing more and more vulgar from here, she was really pissed off. I need to do some damage control because I remember coming in last night and I don't remember seeing Rose or Emmett. I know she is really pissed off at us. I wish I didn't forget to turn my phone back on. The last text I read really worried me it read:

_Bella I know ur not getting these messages & I know u 4got to turn ur phone on and I guess Jasper's is dead or something but Edward showed up here…He was really upset…He was crying & u really need to talk to him.. and u really need to text me back BITCH..I hope u and Jazzy settled things…I still luv u even if ur being stupid with ur phone __**R**_

I think she was drunk texting at this point. I wonder what happened with Edward I know I promised to text him back but shit he left me hanging for years. Really what did he expect I know I am not one for pay backs and he knows this too. But damn why is he tripping? I think I know the answer to that question and I don't like the answer because he is not going to take my friendship offer lightly. I know him and if what they say is true that he has been trying get me back over the last few years; he is not going go down without a fight. I can only hope Jasper keeps his promise or I don't know what I am going to do. I really hate what I feel! What is wrong with me jumping from brother to brother? I think I need my head checked. I hope mom and dad don't hate me for this; I mean they both said whoever I chose was fine with them that they are big boys. But I don't like hurting either of them and at this point either both or one is going to get hurt. Why did I follow my feelings last night? I am so fucking selfish I should just leave them both alone. But I can't just turn off these feelings for Jasper anymore. After last night I know what it feels like to experience real passion and we didn't even have sex. Oh my GOD I bet the sex will be fucking hot. Shit I need to get my head out of the gutter.

Well I guess I need to text Rose back and let her know everything is okay.

_Rosie I am soooo very SORRY for last nite. I 4got to turn my phone back on and Jazzy left his in da car…We had a really GREAT talk last nite..after we went to casino and got really drunk..i am sorry ILY..I'll fill u in on details later ok..first I need to text Edward I am planning on talking to him today…BTW Where r u? __**B**_

Rosalie texts me back instantly.

_About fucking time u text me back BITCH! ILY 2..glad u and Jazzy finally talked shit out..BTW I will b home later to grill ur ass for the info no holding back…Yea u really need to talk to Edward he was really upset especially when he found out u left with Jasper….I told him that he needs to calm down and wait for u to talk to him..He stayed for a few hours pacing the floors..Well I'll talk to u later..Emmett and I r site seeing and he doesn't want me on my phone..LOL TTYL __**R**_

Well that went better than I thought. I am glad she is out because that would have been a whole lot worse if she wasn't. Emmett must have dragged her out of the house this morning because I am surprised she didn't just wake my ass up. Oh well on to the next shit; reading Edward's texts.

_Bella I hope that u will b ready to see me soon I really miss u..NO PRESSURE __**E**_

_Bella PLEASE text back just say HI OR FUCK off just say something __**E**_

_Bella PLEASE u promised __**E**_

_I am starting to get worried..Did I do or say something wrong again? __**E**_

_What's up? Only Small talk OK __**E**_

_Bella please! __**E**_

_U PROMISED JUST SAY SOMETHING __**E**_

_Bella r u busy or something? __**E**_

_Bella I get that u don't want to talk to me ..I am so very sorry for everything __**E**_

_I am Sorry __**E**_

_SORRY __**E**_

_Bella Please text me back.. I know I don't deserve u to talk to me but I really need to know that u r ok __**E**_

_If u don't text me back this time I'm coming to the house to make sure u r ok and still there __**E**_

_Bella where r u? I just talked to Rose and she said ur not answering her either..is something wrong? Did something happen? __**E**_

The texts continued like this with him begging and pleading with me to answer him. I was very surprised that he didn't get angry like Rosalie did but I guess he knows if he did he would lose his chance to see me again. The final text read:

_Bella I went to the house to see if you were home but you weren't. Rose finally told me that you and Jasper went to go talk and I want you to know that I am here to talk too..not just about us but whatever else you need to talk about too. I miss you so much please let's be friends at least. I know I fucked up and you don't want me anymore but please I need you as a friend at least Miss You __**E**_

Well I guess it's now or never!

_Edward I am sorry about last nite it was not my intention to ignore you. I forgot to turn my phone on last nite…I really am sorry..But I want you to know I am ready to talk… if you are? B_

As soon as I pressed send a big weight lifted off my shoulders but was replaced with butterflies in my stomach and just as soon as the text was sent a reply came.

_OMG! When Where? Of course I am ready! U r serious right? Just let me know where and when and I will be there…THANK YOU SO MUCH! __**E**_

_Give me a few hours to wake up and get ready..pick me up at the house in 2 hours..I know a nice place downtown if that's okay with you? __**B**_

_Of course .. I will be there in 2 hours than.. CAN'T WAIT! Don't worry I know just as friends and to talk Thank you so much! __**E **_

_I really did miss you Edward and yes just as friends please don't complicate things __**B**_

Jesus what the fuck am I getting myself into? I don't know if I can fucking do this! Jasper and Edward, what am I thinking? I don't want Edward anymore I want Jasper but now I am going to hurt one or both. What did I do? I think I finally fucked my life up. I need to go away for a while and visit my dad, summer break is coming up and I need to think. I hope Jazz is willing to wait for me but if he isn't I guess it wasn't meant to be.

I leave the bathroom and walk back into my room, Jasper is still sleeping soundly and I walk slowly to my closet. I wonder what else Rose has in here I want to look good but not too good. I look through the cloths and find a _Jordan_ outfit it's perfect it is a red and black form fitting sweatsuit with matching red and black _Jordan_ mid-tops, I grab a red wife beater for underneath and grab a matching red and black set of panties and bra and red no-show socks with black stripes. I make my way back to my bathroom and start the shower. After my shower I get dressed and make my way back out of the bathroom; Jasper is still in bed. So I'll go get some coffee for both of us. I come back in and I hear him in the bathroom.

"Jasper I come bearing gifts of coffee. Do you want some?" I tell him through the bathroom door.

"Oh yes Bells darlin'! I was just about to make coffee when I get out." Jasper says.

"Well I guess I beat you to it!" I say with a slight giggle.

Now that I am talking to him all my fears are starting to subside. I can do this, I know I already love him, but I am not telling him that; I need to take this slow. I still plan on leaving for a few weeks. I hope he understands that I need to see Edward by myself. Somehow I don't think he will take this so well. I know him enough to know he is jealous and possessive but what can I say I am the same way. I guess we might be made for each other in more ways than one.

A/N: sorry this one was short I wanted the meeting with Edward to be a single chapter. Hopefully it will be up sooner than this one. I had too many ideas bouncing around to narrow it down and I know this chapter was short but its filler. As always let me know what you think. How can I improve my writing? Aside from the grammar but this is how I learn by experience. Thanks for reading I am enjoying this experience and I hope my story is interesting.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I still don't own Twilight.

I just want to thank all who are reading my story. I really appreciate taking this journey with you. I love to learn by doing and I know my grammar sucks but I think my writing is starting to improve hopefully by the end I will be a better writer.

Warning I still do not have a beta. So this story is not BETA'D please bear with me it's a learning experience and a way to relieve stress and follow a dream of telling a story that is in my crazy head.

Broken Heart

Chapter 9

Edward

"Here have some coffee Jazzy." I said while handing the coffee to Jasper.

"Thanks darling'." Jasper said looking very hung over.

How am I going to tell him my plans? I know he will be upset especially after the revelations from last night. Holy shit! Was it just last night? It seems like so long ago. Well I guess the truth is always best. No beating around the bush, I am just going to say it and get it over with. Fuck I already told him I wanted to do this! So why am I hesitating now? My brain is really fried today; maybe I should wait to talk to Edward. No I am getting this over with so I can move forward with Jasper.

"Jasper I wanted to talk to you about something. I know it's a bad time. I am hung over too. But I just want to get this over with." I am rambling because I am nervous.

"Bella what's up? I told you so many times, whatever you want to talk about, I am here. NO MATTER WHAT! I promise!" Jasper said with determination in his voice.

"I know Jazzy, but this is kind of hard because I feel like you will be upset." I say looking towards the ground.

"Bella whatever it is just say it. Even if I get upset, it doesn't matter, I don't like seeing you this worked up. So spit it out already." He says nervously.

"Fine! I talked to Edward this morning and he will be here in a little while. We are finally going to go talk." I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose because not only was I nervous about Jasper's reactions; I am shitting bricks about what I will say to Edward and how he will take it.

I open my eyes and see what looks like a very painful expression all over Jasper's face. Shit I knew this was going to happen.

He swallowed hard and said "its fine Bella, I know you need to do this. There is no need to be upset! Just please hurry back to me!"

With that he walked out of my room. I heard his footsteps down the hall and then his door slammed shut. Fuck, I knew this would happen that is why I wanted to wait until I settled shit before I admitted my feelings to Jasper. Why me? Why does shit like this always happen to me? I have no one to blame but myself; I don't know what I was thinking hopping from brother to brother. I really want Jasper though, even if I don't deserve him. I should've just followed my heart in the first place. But the past is the past and now I need to talk to Edward and hope and pray that Jasper is still here when I come back.

I go to my bed and lie down. My head is starting to pound and I just want to cry. I feel like I just hurt Jasper but I told him beforehand that I wanted to settle shit with Edward before I jumped in a relationship with anyone else. UGH! I turned on my stomach and screamed into my pillow. Then I think about shit for a minute and I realize that Jasper is just scared I will end up back with Edward. He really has no idea how I feel about him. I don't want Edward, I want Jasper, and it has always been Jasper. How the hell do I explain that to him and make him believe me, well I guess time will be the answer. I am going to go with Edward and come back to Jasper and do some damage control.

Then I think fuck it I can do damage control now. But right as I am going to go to Jasper's room to tell him he has nothing to worry about; I hear a car pull into the driveway. Fuck he is early. I should've known better, I know him well enough that he is always early when he really wants something. Then I look out the window and see bronze hair moving swiftly passed and towards the door. I take in a deep breath and ready myself for this encounter. I am standing outside Jasper's door and I hear music and I want to go in but I know now is not the time. So I turn around and walk into the kitchen.

I stop dead in my tracks, as I go to walk through the kitchen door. There stands Edward wearing faded blue jeans and a black t-shirt with some black and white _Jordan's_ on. I look up into those emerald eyes and I see hope and longing. Fuck I am going to break his heart and erase the shine in his eyes.

He swallows hard and takes a timid step forward. He is looking me up and down and his gaze feels like hands touching and caressing my body. I hate that his gaze always has the effect on me. I swallow hard and take a step forward. He smiles a small sad smile. My lips slightly twitch up and then I grimace. He looks at my lips and the grimace on my face and he frowns. I think he knows that today will not be a good day for him. I already see the shine in his eyes dissipating. He always could read me like a book. But then I see determination pass through his emerald eyes. We gaze into each other's eyes for a while; my stomach is in knots and I have a huge lump in my throat. I take some shallow breaths and I see his chest rising and falling just as quickly. We continue to gaze at one another and the silence is surprisingly not awkward. It is like we are trying to figure out what the other one wants. I decide to break the silence.

"Hey!" I say.

"Hey!" Is his reply.

"Um-mm so I guess we should go somewhere to talk?" I stumble over the words.

He looks at me with a puzzled look and then his eyes change to curiosity and he says "y-yes whatever you'd like."

I hate that I know him so well, that I know exactly what he wants and what he is thinking. He wants a chance to explain himself and plead for me to take him back. I can see he is very unsure whether he has a chance or not. I know I am going to break his heart; it makes a piece of my heart break just thinking of the words I need to say. I know I am going to say them because I have finally come to terms with my feelings for Jasper and I need Jazz. I used to think I needed Edward because he was my safety net but, I don't want safe anymore, I want fireworks and passion. As I look at Edward I know that the fireworks that used to hold me to him are nothing compared to the fire burning in my veins for Jasper. I want to run back down the hallway to Jasper and kiss him and beg him to wait. I also know that I plan on running to Forks after school lets out, so I can clear my head and start fresh with Jasper. I need to erase Edward from my mind and I cannot do that here. I need to be alone in our meadow and let him go. I hope that Jasper is willing to wait for me. But I also know that even if he doesn't I will still let Edward go. I no longer feel safe with him; I don't trust him with my heart anymore. I know that for sure now as I gaze into his those emerald eyes with the specks of gold that I only love him as a friend maybe even as a brother.

Just then I hear footsteps behind me. I know those footsteps, they are Jasper's. I break my gaze from Edward and turn to face Jasper. I look deep into his crystal blue eyes and plead with my chocolate brown colored eyes for him to understand and feel the love that is there within them. He looks back with fear and I also see love too. At that moment I know that I need to reassure him that last night is not forgotten. I step towards him and he looks at me and I see the fear start to leave his eyes. I take another step and he steps toward me. We continue our steps slowly and cautiously until we are two feet apart. We stare at each other and I feel the fire building up and I see the fire in his eyes that is reflected in my own. I close the distance and wrap my arms around his torso. He is frozen at first but then returns the gesture and wraps his arms around me. He kisses the top of my head and leans down and whispers in my ear "I understand that you have to do this. Don't worry I will be here waiting for you to come back to me. I promise Isabella I will wait as long as it takes." I know he doesn't just mean about today with Edward, he means as long as it takes me to settle all my shit. In that moment I realize I will always love him and I always have loved him but I am not ready to confess any of it. Not yet anyway.

I remove my arms and take a small step back and turn around to look at Edward. I see utter shock in his eyes and his mouth looks like it is going to hit the ground. He looks towards Jasper and I see murderous anger flash through his eyes. Then he turns his gaze to me and I see hurt and pain; there is still that look of determination present and I feel like shit. I know it doesn't matter what he says or does, I will not chose him again. I only hope he comes to terms with it quickly and I pray we can still be friends but I fear that will take a very long time.

I look at him and motion to the door "shall we? I know a place where we can have some privacy and talk."

He nods his head and says "let's go!" Through gritted teeth.

I take a deep breath and follow him out the door. He opens the passenger door of his car and motions for me to get in. I step to the passenger side and go to get in. He places his hand on my arm and pulls me into a hug. It feels really uncomfortable but familiar; memories of his arms and our love flood back along with the pain and loss that hit me like a kick in the gut. But I instinctively hug him back to ease the hurtful memories but embrace the good ones. I don't know why I hug him back but I do it anyway. I know I shouldn't lead him on this way and I know Jasper is probably looking but damn it I did miss his embrace. I need this last embrace before I crush his heart the way mine was crushed but I am not doing it for revenge. I am finally doing something for me and for my own heart. I am just so sorry it will cause his to break. He leans into me and inhales my scent. I cannot help but inhale his scent as well but all I can think of is wanting Jasper's scent all around me again and the heat of his embrace. I freeze and try to let go of him, however he pulls me tighter to him. Finally he lets go and I get into the car and he walks around to the driver's side and gets in. He puts the keys in the ignition and turns to me.

"Where to?" He says with a tremor in his voice.

I clear my throat and say "Go by the bar I work at and across the street there is a park; I like to go to, to get away. There is a private place there where we can park and be alone to talk."

He nods his head and pulls out of the driveway and drives to the park. I stare out the window and think about everything that happened to get us to this point in time. I wish things could've went different because we could've been happy and in love forever. Even though I feel so much more for Jasper, I would've stayed and loved Edward for all of our lives if he never had left. I cannot even think I would've regretted any of it either. But I also know that I wouldn't change things because I would've never got the chance to experience the fire and passion of Jasper. I just want to be in Jasper's arms right now but I need to get my life straight first.

Then I feel my phone vibrate and I grab it out of my pocket and open it.

_I promise you Bella, I will be waiting for you. I need you Bella. Forever. NEVER forget that. __**J**_

I sigh and feel love wash over me and I reply back one simple word but this word speaks volumes for us.

_NEVER! __**B**_

_NEVER! ;-) 3__** J**_

_:-D__** B**_

I look at his reply and smile. I know everything will work out because Jasper will be there every step to help me. I just know this and all of a sudden I feel the determination I need to tell Edward how I feel. I know that he will take it hard but I also know that Jasper will help both of us because he will always love and protect his little brother too. I close my phone put it back in my pocket take deep calming breaths and prepare myself for whatever comes next.

From the corner of my eye I see Edward look at me confused. I can tell he is curious about the text but he doesn't say anything. He just sighs and takes a deep breath and continues to drive.

I tell him where to park and he gets out and opens my door to help me out. I cringe a little at the pain that I still feel in my ribs when I move too quickly. He looks at me with a puzzled look and I shake my head and shrug my shoulders. I am not ready for that conversation so I don't say anything and he doesn't press the issue.

We find a nearby bench and take a seat. The silence is long and neither of us is ready to break it yet. So we sit there for a while and stare out at the park. It is really nice hear in the distance there are children playing. We are sitting near a pond surrounded by trees and I can see some geese wondering through the water. I sigh and prepare to start the inevitable.

"Edward I am really sorry about what I have to say to you and a few months ago, hell even a few weeks ago I would have jumped at the chance to finally have you back in my life. But things are different now. I am different now. I am truly sorry everyone told me why you left and how you have been trying to get me back all this time. But I'm not in love with you that way anymore. I still love you but I'm not in love with you." I take a breath and glance in his direction.

His face is crumpled and his brows are scrunched together, he is in deep thought. I know he is trying to process what I just said and I also know he is having a hard time with it.

He looks in my eyes and says "It's fucking Jasper isn't it." It not a question it's a statement. He knows that the embrace he witnessed in the kitchen was more than a sisterly hug.

"Fuck I knew I should've came to you right when they found you! What the fuck is wrong with me! I knew he would get those hooks in you if I gave him a chance! Fuck, fuck, fuck!" His jaw is clenched and he keeps muttering cuss words and unintelligible works that I cannot make out.

"Edward please listen to me! It-I mean I didn't mean for this to happen. I'm sorry but he was there and you left. I don't want to do this! I don't want to blame you for something I know you felt you had to do. I don't blame you anymore. I-I have always felt a connection to him. You know that you have always known that. But I was with you and I forgot how I felt about him. I loved you and only you but then you left. You all left! I was so sad and lonely and he saved me! He brought me back to life! I care about him Edward and I need to see what it will turn in too. I am sorry and I swear this has nothing to do with you! I am not doing this to hurt you!" The traitor tears are already falling down my cheeks and I wiped them away furiously. I don't want him to feel sorry for me.

"Bella love, I know that I fucked up! I shouldn't have left! I am so very sorry! I know I will never be able to say it enough but I am sorry. Please Bella don't do this! Don't turn your back on me. I need you! I love you! I have always loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you! I can't let you go. I refuse to give up on us! I have search and searched for you. I cannot live without you, please baby don't do this." The tears are falling from his eyes and his hands are trembling.

The tears are still spilling from my eyes and I feel like a complete bitch and whore for doing this but I cannot ignore the way I feel about Jasper anymore. I absolutely refuse to ignore it.

"Edward please don't do this! I don't feel that way for you anymore. You have to move on! There are so many beautiful and loving women out there just waiting for you. You deserve so much better than me. I will never be the fire and passion you deserve. You deserve so much better than me. I know when you find the ONE that is meant for you, you will make her so happy and she will make you feel things you never thought possible. I am not THAT girl for you. I am so very sorry but I feel things I have never thought possible for Jasper. I did love you back then but we were so young and we didn't know what real life was like. We could've been happy and in love forever but the day you left me in the forest, I change and the things that have happened to me since change the way I see life. I am sorry but I don't trust you with my heart anymore." I can't believe I just said that to him but I also know it was necessary so he will get it through his head that we are done.

"Bella I tried to move on, I really did but I couldn't. Every time I would try it was like my dick knew it wasn't you and it only wanted you. It would go limp or I just couldn't cum no matter what I tried. I would close my eyes and picture you but their scent was different and my dick would soften, so I would breathe through my mouth instead. And even if my eyes were closed, with visions of you, and breathing only through my mouth it still wasn't any good. The sex was terrible and I could barely cum even if the girl was sucking me off, it still fucking sucked, no pun intended. I found myself apologizing and feeling embarrassed half the time the girl would accused me of being gay. I cannot love anyone else and believe me I tried to force myself to be with other women but my body just knows it wants you and only you. I cannot love anyone else! You are my ONE you have always been my only ONE"

I get up off the bench and walk to the car. I don't want to hear this. I cannot deal with this, it hurts too much. I can't bear to break his heart any more then I already have. I turn to look where Edward is and I am surprised when he is right in front of me. I step back against the care and then he pushes himself up against my stomach and I can feel his very erect penis.

"You see what I fucking mean? Here you are telling me you don't want me anymore and my dick is still reacting to you! I am so fucking hard! I feel like I'm about to fucking explode! It's you Bella, your scent, your eyes, your body every fucking thing about you lights my whole body on fire. And here you are telling me that my fucking older brother make you feel that way! What am I supposed to do? Don't say it, I know I fucked up, I know what I did was wrong and I will pay for those mistakes for the rest of my life. But I won't go down without a fight! I promise you! I will not give you up that easily! I will fight for you until the last breath leaves my body! I want you my love no one but you! Please Bella I love you so fucking much! I cannot live without you; you are the breath in my lungs, the blood in my veins, and the beat of my heart! Please I am begging you chose me! I know I had my chance; I get it, okay but I never wanted to give you up! I thought I was protecting all of us by leaving. Aro told me that I had to leave or he would ruin us all, starting with you. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't take the chance of letting you get hurt; I thought I was protecting you! Even if I was killing my heart and soul by leaving I still did it to protect you! It was so fucking hard watching them cut my brother in front of me. I couldn't even look away it was my mistake and I paid the consequences and to fucking watch. I felt helpless and I know my brother suffered through the pain for me, and still does every day, when he looks at the scars. I couldn't let something like that happen to you!"

He stopped and took a deep breath and tears started to spill over his lashes even harder and faster than they were and he was sobbing. My heart was breaking inside and I wrapped my arms around him and rubbed his back to comfort him. He continued on though.

"I, I was young I didn't think about my choices. I didn't even realize I had any. I thought my only choice was to leave. When I left you in the woods that day after I forced those blasphemes words out, I cried for days. I couldn't look anyone in the face, especially Jasper. I stood by his side in the hospital every day until he was released. I slept there with him but I couldn't talk to him, I wouldn't talk to anyone. Every time I thought about opening my mouth the tears would sting my eyes and all I could see was your broken face and I felt like a complete asshole. Because here I was in a hospital with my brother all fucked up and cut open and all I could think about was what I did to you!"

He fell to his knees and grabbed me by my waist and pulled me to him. His face resting on my stomach, as he sobbed and shook my heart was breaking all over again for him. Until that point I never thought about how hard all of this was on him. His soul was crushed he lost everything because he got caught up in drugs.

I dropped down with him and held him to me. I felt so fucking wretched because none of this changed my mind. Nothing he could say would change the way I feel about Jasper. I knew at that moment I could never love Edward the way he deserved, and believe me he deserved the fire and passion that engulfed my heart for Jasper. I prayed with all my heart that there was a woman somewhere out there made just for him. Someone whom could give back what he offered, and he was offering his every piece of his body heart, mind, and soul and all I could do was turn it down. Because all of me was made just for Jasper, I knew at that moment that I could give my whole self to Jasper, even the parts I kept hidden from myself. I am the worst kind of evil, the kind that sucked Edward in with the wrong intentions because even back then I felt things for Jasper, and now I am fucking spitting him out. I feel so disgusted with myself I do not deserve either one of them, hell I don't even deserve that asshole James. What is wrong with me? What if I cannot be what Jasper wants and needs? What then? I knew I had some really hard issues to face but I never expected Edward to feel this strongly for me. Why didn't I see this before? I am so selfish I don't deserve any of the love that the Cullen's give me. Fuck even Rosalie treats me with love and respect. Hell she even suggested I have both of her brothers. I would never do that, of course not, I maybe evil but I am not a heartless bitch.

"Ed-Edward I am so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. I really didn't mean to fall for you or your brother but I did. I really did love you but I have always felt something for Jasper. I will not lie to you or Jazz or myself anymore. I always felt this fire and passion for him but I was scared of it, I didn't want to be hurt and I thought I was safe with you, so I chose you. Then you broke my heart anyway just as I was finally forgetting my feelings for him and falling for you. You fucking left and broke me. I didn't know what to do; I felt like I was nothing, like I was trash. You don't even know the half of what happened to me that summer and then you just left me, when I needed you the most!"

Now the tears were falling from my eyes because I was going to break him apart when I tell him just what he left behind. I need to tell him though to explain why I cannot love him the way I once did.

He looked at me confused and with worry in those beautiful jade colored eyes that I always got lost in. I will always love those green eyes but the crystal blue ones take me places I never thought possible. I know it sounds fucked up but that is how it is, green always shifts back to blue for me.

"What are you talking about Bella? What happened?" I could hear the worry in his voice.

"Well you remember that I went to visit Renee that summer, right?"

"Yes she was arrested for drugs. Wasn't she?" He swallowed hard and I watched as his Adams apple bobbed.

"Well my step-father Phil he tried to rape-"

He cut me off and cried "He, what?"

"Let me finish Edward. Well actually I think you deserve the whole story. I never did tell any of it to you, because he tried touching me a long time before I ever came to live in Forks. I was so ashamed of what happened and I just wanted to forget so I never spoke a word of it to anyone. Until the other night when I was with Jazz, I told him everything. I am sorry I never confided in you, I regret that decision now; but at the time I just wanted to forget it and be happy. I just want you to know that you did make me happy and I felt very safe and loved when we were together. But Edward over that last past four years I had to grow up and face this shit all alone and I made many bad choices especially in men. I have been abused physically, emotionally, and sexually by these men and it has taught me one thing and that is to trust my heart and follow it. That is what I am going to do, and I am so sorry that I have to hurt you in the process but I feel things for Jazz and I need to know if he is the ONE. I have to do this! I have to follow what I was scared of my whole life and take the chance. Edward the reason I refused to see you these last few weeks wasn't because I wasn't ready to see you. It was because I was healing from a really fucked up beating my last boyfriend gave me. He beat me so bad I miscarried and had several broken ribs and lots of bruises. Jasper saved my life and all the feelings I held back for him came flooding back and I finally told him everything. I told him how I feel when I see him, when he touches me and I told him all about everything that happened before and after you guys left. Just please understand that none of this is your fault and I am not telling you any of this to make you feel guilty. I am telling you this because you deserve to know the truth the whole truth." At the end of my rant I am breathless.

I stopped to take a much needed breath and look into his eyes to see how he was taking all of this. I saw a very crushed and self-loathing man sitting before me. I reached out and stroked his cheek wiping away his tears.

"Please Edward don't do that, don't think this is your fault. It is NOT your fault! Look I won't say any more than!" I was hurting so bad from the look in his eyes that I could not say anymore. I know he is blaming himself and I did not want that.

"No Bella I want to know, I need to know, please tell me! I cannot help to blame myself for the things I caused because I left. But I will try my damnedest to abide your wishes and not blame myself for all of it, okay." I watched two more tears slide down his cheeks as he reigned in all the feelings of self-loathing.

It was sort of ironic that I was sitting in Edward's lap pouring my heart out just as I had the day before in Jasper's. But this time there was no feeling of heat and passion. I only felt the safety and friendship that I have always felt when it came to Edward. I realize now that that was all it ever was. Boy was I naïve when I was a teenager I mistook real love for the feeling of friendship and safety. I told him everything that I told Jasper. The only difference was that his reactions were slightly different, he was just as pissed as Jasper but he showed it a whole lot more. Where Jasper held me closer and tried to take the pain from me and put it into him Edward lashed out and punched the ground and pulled on his hair. I had to grab his hands and stop him several times. I was starting to be scared that he would jump on a plane and kill Phil or follow me to school and figure out who the hell James is or fly to Forks and beat the shit out of Jacob and Mike, even though I knew he never would. He cried tears of hate and sorrow just as Jasper did but his were more intense because he blamed himself. He felt like he failed me and now he lost me because of his failure. I tried my hardest to explain he was wrong that it was not his fault but he said if he wasn't fucked up on drugs I would have never felt the need to go to Arizona. I told him I would've gone anyway and he comes back with he would've gone with. I was really starting to regret telling him all of this but at the same time I knew he had the right to know. However the more I spoke the more the weight that I was baring started to lift off of my shoulders; even though I felt a whole lot better after telling Jasper, telling Edward somehow made me feel lighter and more free. I felt like my life could finally start again, like I could heal because Edward always had a way of making me feel safe; with Jasper I was scared he would do something stupid and I was afraid to lose him. But with Edward I knew that I could stop him if he tried and I could never stop Jasper he was like a hurricane unstoppable and very destructive. Edward was strong and very capable of destruction but he would never hurt me by breaking my trust again; I was very confident in that but I still didn't trust him with my heart. I did trust him to make me feel safe but my heart was made for Jasper.

"Bella I know that you don't want me to do anything stupid and I promise I will respect that. But when it comes to you and my brother I WILL NOT accept that! I will not leave you again and I will not give up trying to get you back; unless you order me to leave then. I will have no choice." The look in his eyes was of total determination.

"Edward I cannot say sorry enough but I want- no I need you to understand that I have to give these feelings for Jasper a try. I AM NOT DOING any of this to hurt you! Please understand that!" I looked him in his eyes so he could see how serious I was.

"Bella I do not blame you, by leaving I made this happen. I don't blame you for your feelings and I will try to let you see if you really do care for my brother because I love you enough to know that this is what you need. I also know that I want you to feel love even if it's not with me but I still will fight for you. And I want you to know that when he fucks up or you realize that he is not for you; I will be here waiting for you. I will wait forever! That is how much I love you! FOREVER MY LOVE!" I watched as two tears fell down his cheeks and I saw the pain in his eyes; the pain I caused. But I cannot deny that the pain was his fault as well, because he was right if he never left I would still be with him. I would've stayed with him forever and I would've loved him; although his love for me would've always been stronger than mine for him, which would've never been fair.

"I just hope that we can be friends and that you can accept the fact that I am going to try to work things out with your brother. I know that it will be hard to see but I cannot hide my feelings for him anymore. I really care about him and he really cares about me and I think we deserve a chance to see if anything can come of this. I am so very sorry but I cannot help the way I feel. I will always love you no matter what! You will always be my first love, my first everything, and you will always have a place in my heart. But right now I don't feel that way for you anymore! I just want us to be friends, if that is possible but I understand if you don't feel the same." I feel so torn and heartless but Edward needs to understand just how serious I am.

He takes a deep breath and sighs in defeat. "Okay Bella just friends, I promise I will be your friend and keep the other feelings to myself. As long as you promise to keep me in your life, I won't lie though it will be hard for me to see you with my brother. But I won't hurt you anymore by making you feel worthless. I can see it in your eyes; you are blaming yourself for your feelings. I don't blame you but I will wait for you. I know he will fuck up eventually and you will wake up and realize you are mine. But for now I will be the friend that you need. So let's start with dealing with this asshole that beat the shit out of you. Don't worry I won't do anything stupid, unless you ask. So I image you haven't got you shit from his house yet?"

I sigh and admit defeat because he will not listen to reason but he agreed to be friends so I will take that and just let the rest sink in as time goes by.

"Yeah Edward your right my shit is still at his house." I say with an unsteady tone.

"Well let's go get it! Friends can help friends, right? Besides than I have an excuse to spend more time with you." He has a devilish look in his eyes and I know he is going to keep using this friend's bullshit to his advantage and my stupid ass is going to let him. I have to face it I am really stupid and can't bear to hurt him by saying no.

"Alright, fuck it if you insist! Let's go get my shit! But please no fighting he shouldn't be there anyway." I said with a very defeated tone.

A/N: Well I guess Edward won't give up that easy.


	10. Chapter 10

Still don't own Twilight but I still love playing in the Twi. world.

A/N: Still not BETA'd so excuse grammar it's a work in progress and a way to learn.

Broken Heart

Chapter 10

Edward part 2

After the conversation with Edward, we decided to grab something to eat and try being just friends. Yeah I know he is biding his time but I am hoping he comes to terms with the fact that we are not going to be a couple any longer. I decided to text Jasper to let him know my plans because I did not want to ruin things before they even started and I know he is pacing and losing his mind. I have been with Edward for like 2 hours already and now we plan on lunch. After lunch we are going to get my stuff from James' place and then go home. Afterward I am planning on asking everyone if they want to go to the bar I work at and have some drinks because Angela is working tonight.

_Jazz everything w/Edward went fine. We are going to have lunch and run some errands. Don't worry he agreed just friends! I am so happy he took it better than I thought! Miss u already! See ya soon! ;-) __**- B**_

He must have been waiting with his phone in hand because his reply was almost instant.

_Hurry back to me darlin'! Miss u too! I am gonna get sum lunch w/Rose and Em then. Glad he took it good. TTYL 3 ;-) __**–J**_

I sighed because I know he was not too happy but at least he wasn't tripping out on me. I also knew he knows his brother and knows Edward is not taking it well at all. Then Edward broke me out of my thoughts.

"So Bella what are we going to eat? I have been in Chicago for a few months and haven't really been to many restaurants." Edward said with excitement in his voice.

"I'm not sure, maybe we should go to Maxwell Street Polish, for some polish sausage or Chicago style hotdogs. Or if you want pizza we can go to Capri's pizza, it's on the south side of the city." I said very hungrily.

"HM that is a hard choice how about we have polishes and dogs for lunch and pizza for dinner. I mean we are gonna get hungry after we get your stuff, aren't we?" Edward said nervously. But I was going to kill his buzz because I am going to suggest inviting everyone.

"Yeah, pizza for dinner sounds great we can call everyone and go out for drinks where I work after we eat. Instead of Capri's we can go somewhere close to the bar." I said excitedly.

"Y-yeah th-that would be great." Edward said hesitantly.

"Look Edward I told _you_, just friends and I think it's time we _all_ started hanging out again besides we are adults and legally can drink now." I said in a serious tone he would understand that meant business.

"Yes Bells I think your right it does sound fun. I have been waiting for the time we could all go out together. I just never thought we wouldn't be a couple and it will be very hard to see you and Jazz together." He said with a solemn tone.

"Edward I told you I have feelings for him but he and I are not together right now! We are taking things slow because I am not ready after all the shit James did to me. Besides I would never hurt you by hanging all over your brother in front of you! At least until I am sure you are okay with our relationship." I said matter of factly.

"Oh!" Was all he responded with a grimace on his face probably because I brought up James.

"Well I will text them and see if they want to have dinner and drinks later, okay?" I said happily because I was very excited to spend time with everyone and I was really missing Jazz.

"Okay Bells you text while I drive to the hotdog place. What's the address? I will put it in the GPS and drive there." He said with a slight smile.

"The address is 3801 West Harrison Street. It's a good thing I had that address saved in my phone!" I laughed and started texting everyone with the plans to see who was available. I decided to text Rosalie first this way I could kill two birds with one stone because I knew Emmett would be with her.

_Hey! You and Em wanna get some pizza and go out for drinks at my bar? Ang is working tonite! __**-B**_

_Yes! He said of course silly Belly! We have been waiting to go out with you! BTW is Edward and Jasper going? Jazz is with us having lunch and he looks worried and sad. __**-R**_

_Well I haven't asked Jazzy yet but Edward said yes. __**-B**_

_You want me to ask him? He didn't hear me ask Em cause he was in the restroom. __**-R**_

_No thanks I was gonna text him next. Please let me do it, okay? __**-B**_

_Yea! It will be sound a lot better coming from you Bells __**-R**_

_Thanks! TTYL Rosie __**-B **_

Oh shit! I forgot that Jasper was with them and I knew he was being too understanding when I text him earlier. I really love Rosalie because she tells you just how it is no sugar coating. I am so glad she told me how Jazz was feeling; now it is time to text him to let him know I'm thinking of him.

_Jazzy what's up? I was just thinking about you and missing you. How about all of us go out for pizza and drinks at the bar I work at? Ang works tonight and wants to see all of us. __**–B**_

I waiting for a few minutes and then finally Jasper text me back.

_Yes! That will be fun! I haven't been out with everyone in so long and I haven't been out with u w/them! Is Edward okay with this? I mean he does know you guys are going as friends, right? I mean I get it that so are we too but… __**-J**_

Wow he really is feeling insecure and sad. I need to rectify this and fast.

_Jasper Cullen! What did I tell you! Jeez, yes Edward knows we are just friends! And as for you and me we are taking things SLOW. I am pretty sure we are more than just friends but not a couple yet, okay? I know I am selfish but I need some time to get my SHIT together. I am sorry to drag you along like this and you DON'T have to wait for me at all! If you find someone that deserves you and makes you happy than go for it! I don't want to HURT anyone! Please understand that! __**–B**_

_Isabella Marie Swan! WTF did I tell you? HUH? I thought I made myself quite clear, I will wait however long it takes for you to be comfortable and ready to be with me. No MATTER how long it takes! NEVER STOP believing that! __**-J**_

_NEVER! I promise I will never stop believing but sometimes I feel so selfish and shitty for wanting you after being with Edward. IDK it just feels wrong, like I am hurting the people I care about, too much! I really do want to be with you but I just need to…. __**–B**_

I couldn't finish the statement; I hope he understands it's just so fucking hard for me to face all my demons. But I am going to do it for him, so I can love him the way he deserves to be loved. I just need to get Edward out of my system for good and that means a trip to Forks, specifically the meadow. Once I go there I plan to let Edward go and come back and move forward with Jasper. My thoughts were broken again, but this time it was a text from Jasper.

_Thank you Bella darlin' all I ask is for a chance to be happy with you. That is all I have ever wanted. And don't worry about hurting anyone because you are NOT! I promise if I am not what you want and Edward is I will not stop you from being HAPPY. NEVER stop yourself form being happy because you're scared of hurting someone. We are BIG boys and we know what we are getting ourselves into. Please NEVER doubt yourself or stop yourself from love or happiness. Our family will be here for you no matter whom you are with or if you decide not to be with either of us. You are a part of this family FOREVER! __**–J**_

_I PROMISE! Thanks Jazzy I needed that! You always know what to say to make me feel better! 3 ;-)__** -B **_

After reading Jasper's texts, I starting thinking about all the promises I made to him and Rose. Fuck, I promised them we would get my stuff together! I guess I was being really stupid and selfish again. I better text them and see if they can come try and get my stuff today or if another day would me better. I knew that James would be out of town the next few days because Angela heard from a mutual friend he was leaving for a few days. So I decided to text everyone to see what would work best. I sent the same text to Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett.

_Hey! Is today a good day to get my shit? James will be out of town. Oh and if yes what time would work? __**J,R,EM**_

Then I sent Angela a text.

_Hey Ang! Are you busy before work? Because I am trying to get everyone together to go get my shit, since you said James was out of town. __**–B**_

Jasper was the first to respond.

_Of course Darlin' anytime you need me I am here! What time r u thinking? We are almost done with lunch. __**–J**_

Right after I read Jasper's text, Rosalie's chimed in.

_Yea Bells Em and I r game after we eat and Jazz said u text him too and he was game also. __**–R**_

I breathed a sigh of relief because I was finally going to close that shitty chapter in my life, hopefully for good.

Angela was the last to answer back.

_Sorry Bells no can do. I gotta get to work early to help do some extra cleaning but as long as everyone else is there I am okay with u going. –A_

_It's koo Ang everyone else is game so no worries. BTW we are ALL coming up to the bar later for drinks during your shift so see ya soon. __**–B**_

_That is fucking AWESOME! Can't wait, to see ur ass tonite! __**–A**_

I was giggling after Angela's text and could see Edward raising a curious eyebrow toward me. I was so caught up in texting everyone I almost forgot he was next to me.

"Oh that was Angela she is excite we are all going to come up to the bar tonight. And by the way Jazz, Rose, and Emmett are going to meet up with us later to get my stuff from James' place." I said excitedly to Edward.

"Okay?" He said uneasily.

I guess he was hoping to spend more alone time but I was going to try and prevent that as much as possible from now on, especially if things with Jasper were going to progress. After everything that Jasper just said to me I knew that distancing myself from Edward would be best or at least making sure we weren't alone.

I looked at my phone and thought I better send a time to them so we can get this over with, preferably sometime soon so I wouldn't have to be alone with Edward much longer. So I text them all to meet us at back at the Cullen house at 3pm so we could borrow Carlisle's truck. I figured that Jasper and I could ride in the truck and Rose, Em, and Edward could ride in Em's big ass Jeep, this way one trip was all that was needed. They all agreed but I could see that Edward was sulking. He was trying his hardest to hide it but his eyes always told the truth, just like mine.

I was starting to get excited thinking about the drive with Jasper and then being able to relax and have a few drinks with everyone. I just hope that Edward and Jasper don't start acting stupid and jealous. I was planning on driving myself so if they did act like idiots I could leave. I was lost in my thoughts again when I felt a warm hand on my arm.

"Bells, what is going on in that head in yours that has you so distracted?" Edward said with a sigh letting go of my arm.

"I don't know Edward; I just have a lot on my mind. So what are you gonna eat when we get there?" I said to distract him from asking any more questions about my thoughts. Because I was not telling Edward I was thinking about Jasper, no fucking way.

I looked at his expression and knew he knew I was changing the subject. He sighed again and said "I'm thinking of trying a Chicago style hotdog and a Maxwell Street polish with some fries."

"That's my boy! At least your appetite hasn't changed, I was thinking of having the same." I licked my lips thinking about the food. I watched as his hands gripped the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. Shit I better be careful of my actions I should've known that would turn him on it always did.

"Yea so your appetite is the same as well, I take it. I always loved that about you that you weren't one of those salad eating freaks!" He said with amusement.

"Hey! I happen to like salad but I also like everything else too. In fact I was planning on a hotdog, polish, fries and a salad to laugh at! So ha!" I was chuckling now. Edward always knew how to lighten the mood and make me laugh. I really miss him in my life; I just hope he is willing to stay my friend. I sighed and looked at him.

"What?" He said hesitantly with a questioning look in his jade colored eyes.

"Nothing, I was just hoping that you could understand that we can _only _be friends and I was praying _you_ could accept that because I _miss _having you in my life." I said with a loud sigh.

He looked at me searching my eyes, while we were a red light, then he sighed and I could have sworn I heard him say "for now." "Yea Bella I get it okay, just friends. I am trying my hardest to accept that but I need time, okay?" I saw the saddest expression on his face and it tore at my heart.

"I really am sorry Edward but that is all I am capable of. I just can't ignore that fact that I have feelings for someone else. I just got to know, no I need to embrace this and see what happens. However I don't plan on just jumping into things with him, I plan on taking things slow." I looked him in his eyes to express my sincerity but the light changed and he looked back at the road.

"I get it Bella! I will be the friend you need but I just can't be happy about it, not right now at least. Just give me some time to adjust, okay? It is not the easiest thing to hear someone you have love for so long, is falling for your brother." He said through clenched teeth.

"Alright Edward let's not talk about this shit right now! Let's just enjoy our day being friends, okay?" I was fighting back tears at this point.

"Yes, I agree let's leave the heavy behind for now and enjoy the day." He had a slight smile playing on his lips and a thoughtful expression in his eyes.

We made it to our destination and ate our lunch, discussing things like our past classes and the grades we have received. I was very happy to find out that even though he was taking his core classes on-line he was getting straight A's. He would be starting at school with me in the fall and had a few core classes left before he started medical school. We talked about things we accomplished and things we failed at. We also talked about our 21st birthdays and what we did to celebrate them. After our light conversation and lunch. We drove back to the house to meet up with everyone else. It was so great to laugh and joke with Edward again, as friends. Surprisingly he kept his word and acted only as a friend. The jokes and teasing continued as we made our way to the Cullen house (home). I took it as a sign that us being friends was possible but I am not stupid enough to believe that it wouldn't take time for him to accept Jasper in my life.

Sorry it's short but too much going on in the next one so I had to break it up. Hopefully the next will be up in a week.


	11. Chapter 11

Twilight not mine *sigh* but I still love the characters especially Jasper. He is special to me because he overcame adversity and came up on top with love and honor.

Warning: Not BETA'd and this is my way to learn how to write so please excuse grammar (I'm working on it especially by reading other ficts). I hope that as the story develops so do my skills. As always thanks for reading.

Broken Heart

Chapter 11

Uneasy Feelings

On the way back to the Cullen house/home I had a very uneasy feeling deep in my gut. I had no idea what is was about so I pushed it away and thought maybe it was me being nervous about coming between Edward and Jasper. But I felt so off. It was like the calm before the storm or the eye of a hurricane. It was like the pressure was building and the air was thick. It was hard to breathe and my body was jumpy and on edge. I really need this feeling to fucking go away. I need to get to Jazz so we could smoke and I could calm the fuck down.

As we pulled in the driveway the feeling was dulling slightly but it was still there. I could not figure out what the hell was wrong and why I felt so off and couldn't breathe right. I think maybe its just old demons. James is out of town so it couldn't be that. I pushed the feeling out of my mind the best I could. I searched the driveway but Emmett's jeep wasn't there. I knew they all went together so when I felt the little spark of hope when I saw Jazz's car, it quickly dissolved into want. I wanted him here I needed to see him to make things better. What the fuck it that I am really starting to depend on him too damn much! But oh how I just wanted to look into those crystal blues eyes with the yellow around the pupil so all these nerves would go away.

Edward came around and opened my door and helped me out of the car; I couldn't help the feeling of wanting it to be Jasper that helped me out. I sighed and went to sit on the porch steps. Edward looked at me with questioning eyes and I shook my head. He pleaded with me with his eyes to talk to him but I shook my head again. He sighed deeply and went inside. I took my phone out to text Jasper.

_**Hey! Where u at? –B**_

I didn't want to tell him just how much I needed to be with him right now because I was a chicken shit. Then my phone chimed in.

_**We r almost there. What's wrong darlin'? I can sense something is wrong. –J**_

I took a deep breathe and wrapped my arms around myself and typed in my phone again.

_**I really need u right now. IDK I just feel off….Please Jazzy I need u. I am so sorry…. –B**_

_**What r u sorry for? Did something happen! Did Edward do or say something to hurt you? I am really getting worried Bella talk to me. –J**_

_**NO! Jazzy, Edward didn't do anything or say anything to me. I just have a really weird feeling and I need u. I am sorry to b needy and not give u more of want u need… -B**_

_**Jesus Bella! How many times do I have to tell u? I don't care about me I only want to b here for u! Please understand! I will b right there in like 10mins, okay? –J**_

_**Hurry! –B**_

_**ALWAYS! –J**_

Not even ten minutes later I heard a car pulling up the driveway. I looked up to see the jeep pulling in, before I could even think about what I was doing I ran towards the jeep. I rushed to the passenger back seat where I could see Jasper sitting and I pulled his door open before he could put his hand on the handle. He pulled me into his waiting arms and I rested my head in the crook of his neck, while he rested his head on top of mine. He shifted his body pulling me away for a second to open his legs pulling me in between them so he could hold me tighter.

That was when the traitor tears stated to fall. Why was I crying? I didn't know. I only felt this crazy emotion and I just wanted to be in his arms. He pulled back slightly to look at my face and his brows furrowed.

"What's wrong, baby? Why are you crying? If he did something to you! I will not be held responsible for my actions!" I could hear the concern and anger in his voice.

I sighed and reined my emotions in so I could speak. "No Jasper, I promise Edward didn't do or say anything. I don't know I just got all emotional and irrational all of a sudden and I, I….just needed you, okay?"

"Any time, baby but what is wrong? Please talk to me. I cannot help unless you tell me what's bothering you? If you don't want to tell me at least speak with Rosalie. I cannot bear to see you like this!" All the anger had left his voice and I could hear the concern that was edging on desperation now.

"I am so sorry Jazz…I don't mean to upset you….but I really don't know what is wrong…I just feel off, okay?" I kept trailing off with every thought. Hell I sounded really insane to myself no wonder he was so concerned.

"Well if you're not feeling well…maybe we can wait to get your things…." He trailed of not wanting to say James' name.

"Oh no Jazz I want to get that over with. I promise! The sooner I get that over with the better." I tried to sound as stern as possible so he wouldn't try to talk me out of it.

He looked in my eyes for a few moments before sighing and saying "you're right! Let's get this over with so he will be out of your life for good!"

"Thanks for understanding Jazz. And I am so very sorry for getting all crazy and emotional….it's not fair to you for me to keep pushing and pulling you in all these directions and then not giving back. I really don't understand what my fucking problem is. I want to embrace this, this feeling between us…..but at the same time it scares the hell out of me. And then I realize that all I keep doing is hurting the people I love the most-"

At that point Jasper cut me off by gently placing his hand over my mouth. "NO! Isabella no! I do NOT want to hear you apologize for your feelings. I understand that _you _are scared and confused. I only want _you_ to be happy and if it's not with _me_ than I only hope that whoever _you_ choose makes you happy. I don't want you to feel pressured at _all. _You can take all the time you need to come to terms with whatever you decide. I promise I will be here for you, even if it's just as _friends._ I DON'T want to lose you, okay? I should have been honest with you all those years ago and now I will wait and accept whatever you have to offer. I promise!" I saw a lonely tear fall from the corner of his eye but I ignored it so I wouldn't embarrass him.

"Thank you Jazz. Where did Rosie and Emmy bear go?" I quickly changed the subject and looked around confused.

"Oh they discreetly left us so we could talk. I think they knew something was upsetting you. And they are trying to keep Edward inside. I don't think he is too happy right now, judging by the glare he keeps giving me when he goes to the window." I could hear the amusement in Jasper's voice and I kind of wanted to punch him but he put up with my crazy emotions so I let it slip.

"What do you mean? He is not too happy with us." I said with mock confusion. I knew damn well Edward would be looking out the window. I caught him doing it before they showed up. But I wasn't thinking when I ran to Jasper and forgot all about it until Jazz pointed it out.

"Well he has been sneaking glances out the window but Emmett keeps pulling him away and I am sure Rosalie is giving him a piece of her mind as well. You know how Rosie gets." He said feeling a little ashamed of his amusement now. Good I am glad because I didn't want call him out on it.

"Fuck! I guess we better behave in front of him the rest of the evening, huh?" I said half-heartedly.

"Yeah if you think that's for the best…but I think he needs t-"I cut him off mid-sentence.

"DON'T! Jazz please don't rub this in his face." I said angrily.

"I am sorry baby, I really am I won't rub it in his face. I promise to behave…it's just so fucking hard…but I will do it for you…besides I know you aren't ready for.." He trailed off.

"Jazz?"

"Yes baby?" He asked distractedly while playing with a stray strand of my hair. I was still between his legs and my hands were resting on his thighs.

"Please don't call me baby in front of him either." I said with a sad smile.

"Oh I am sorry. Does it bother you that I called you baby? Because if it makes you uncomfortable I will stop." He said in a solemn tone.

"No Jazz it doesn't make me uncomfortable but I really want to have fun tonight and I don't want to upset Edward any more than we already have, okay?"

"Of course Bella I will try for _you_. I promise but I cannot guarantee I won't slip up but I will try my best." He said with a small smile.

I extracted myself from between his legs and took some deep calming breaths to prepare myself for what was waiting inside the house. Suddenly I felt heat on my back and then two strong arms wrap around my waist and a jolt of electricity surged throughout my body settling between my legs. I let out a moan as he leaned to my ear and whispered, "I am right here baby, never forget that." I moaned louder "never" I whispered and he placed an open mouth wet kiss at the base of my ear. Fuck I'm getting wet now.

I put my hands on his arms and pulled them away and turned to face him. I hugged him around his waist and rested my head on his chest inhaling his manly woodsy chest, I finally felt at ease and all my worries melted away. This was what scared me the most, I know I depend on him way too much to calm me and give me a feeling of peace. I moved my hands up his body towards his head and I pulled his ear to my lips.

"Jazzy dear we need to behave in front of Edward and give him time; I promised him we would." I whispered seductively in his ear and gave him a hot open mouth kiss on his neck. I pulled away from a very stunned and turned on Jasper (I could see the tent in his pants confirming his uncomfortable state) so I walked into the house.

My fears were confirmed when I walked into the house because Edward had an impressive scowl on his face and anger raging in his green eyes turning them the darkest forest green I have ever seen. I was fucking happy I that Jasper hadn't recovered enough to follow me in the house. Edward grabbed me by the hand and dragged me into his room which was on the second floor above mine. He led me in his room and shut his door and locked it. When he turned around I was surprised at what I saw. His eyes were no longer angry but hurt and threatening to spill tears.

"Why? Why, Bella? Please….don't do this….to me…I can't handle watching you with him….please…please….just give me some time…that's all I ask….please…." he was begging and pleading in between pauses and tears.

"Edward I am sorry but I just needed him…." I trailed off not wanting to hurt him any more than I already had.

"Look Edward I promise I'll try not to do that anymore today, okay? I was just really emotional for a minute and needed some comfort, okay?" I said sadly.

"Bella love that's what I am here for….." he trailed off again realizing he was breaking his promise to be just friends.

"Edward we can only be friends and as far as Jazz is concerned we are friends too but just slightly more….I am sorry but that is how it is." I said trying to keep the venom out of the words so I didn't sound too harsh or hurt him more.

"Alright I get it Bella but it doesn't make it any less hard. Just give me some time to adjust. Now let's get ready so we can go get your things, okay?" He said emotionless.

"One thing about that I want to warn you….I plan on riding with Jasper, okay?" I said sternly so he knew that it wasn't open for discussion.

I heard him mumble some incoherent words and I unlocked his door and gave him a sad smile as I walked out his door. He returned the sad smile and said he would be down in a few minutes.

As I approached the bottom of the steps I turned to see Jasper about to knock on my bedroom door.

"Hey! I'm right here." I said to get his attention.

"Oh! Hey Bells I just wanted to let you know that was bogus leaving me out there with my um issue…" He said humorlessly with a huge shit eating grin on his face, obviously he caught me looking.

I rolled my eyes and him and arched my eyebrow at him to let him know to behave.

"Is everyone almost ready, Jazzy?"

"Yes I think they are. All except Edward, do you know where he is?" Jasper questioned.

"Yes I just left his room he said he would be ready in a few minutes."

"Okay." Jasper replied.

I was glad he didn't question me about being up in Edward's room dealing with one crazy brother was enough. Fuck this we all need to smoke before we leave.

"Jazz roll us a blunt for before the trip, okay?" I said with a hopeful tone.

"Of course baby!" He said with a sly smirk.

I arched my eyebrow at him and he raised his hands palm forward saying "okay I'll behave."

We pulled up in front of my old home, the one I shared with James to say I was feeling nervous was an understatement. I didn't understand why because he was gone but I guess all the old memories and fears were getting the better of me. Jasper must have felt my nervousness because he held my hand and rubbed comforting circles on the top of it with his thumb.

I sighed and took a much needed deep breath preparing myself for gathering my things. I only hoped he didn't destroy or throw anything away. Jasper stepped out of the truck and came around to help me out. I turned and watched Rosalie, Emmett, and Edward exit the Jeep.

Edward was wearing a sad scowl and Rose nudged him and said something to him and his scowl turned into a tight line. I started to walk towards the door and up the stairs. The apartment was on the second level so I led the way. I pulled out my keys and put the key in the lock and opened the door slowly. I peeked my head in and all the lights were off. I stepped in with Jasper close on my heels and reached for the light and flicked the switch.

As the lights came on everyone walked into the living room and looked around. The floor plan was open and from the front door you could see the small living/dining room which contained a sectional black leather sofa with a 40 inch flat screen TV on a small glass entertainment center with stereo and some DVDs and games. On the side of the stereo sat the gaming systems. In between the entertainment center and sofa was a glass coffee table.

The room was just as I left it, everything in its place and surprisingly clean. The only thing missing was the picture of James and me at the beach all the other pictures of us and our friends and families were still on the wall. Behind the sofa was the dining room table and china cabinet with all my knick knacks and some more pictures of my dad and some of the Cullen's (excluding Edward).

I looked at everyone and seen they were looking around. I saw the shocked expressions they held realizing that I did care for them enough to have their pictures up even though they had left. Edward looked like he was going to cry when he seen that his picture was missing. I looked at him and said "it was too hard to see your face every day at James refused to let me put your pictures up any way."

Then I look towards the kitchen and saw that it too was very clean. Then I spotted the ultrasound on the fridge and almost broke down. Rose followed my gaze and rushed into the kitchen and took the ultrasound picture down and placed it on top of the fridge. I took a deep breath and look down the hallway which led to the bathroom guest room and finally at the end of the hall was the master bedroom complete with on suite bathroom and double walk in closets.

I told Rose to pack the contents of the china cabinet into boxes because everything in it was mine. I told the guys that the china cabinet was mine as well and I was taking that with. They asked what else was mine and I said mostly everything but I was leaving it because I could replace it all and besides I already had new game systems at home. I told Rose that whatever pictures she recognized as our friends and my family were mine and I would grab whatever she missed when I was done with my bedroom.

I left them in the living room and started to walk down the hall towards my bedroom. I had a very uneasy feeling as I approached the end of the hall. I shook my head and turned the knob. As I was about to enter the room I felt and hand on my shoulder and I jumped.

"I'm sorry Bella darlin'. Are you okay? You look very spooked. I am here for you and I will help you with your bedroom stuff if you want." Jasper said nervously.

I turned toward him holding my heart and nodded for him to come with me and help because all the memories of this hell hole were crashing down on me. He took my face in his hands and kissed my forehead and said "I'll always be here. Never forget that." I whispered back "NEVER!" With that I turned the knob and walked in the room followed by Jasper.

I tuned the switch on and the room lit up showing the cherry wood colored sleigh bed with black bedding and the cherry wood matching dressers and night stands. I looked around the room and spotted the beach picture sitting on my pillow. Jasper spotted it too and shook his head slightly. Yeah I thought to myself James is insane and obsessed.

On my dresser which was long and had a large mirror, there were more pictures of my friends and family from both Forks and Chicago. As I looked at the pictures I spotted the only picture containing Edward that I kept out. It was taken during the homecoming dance of my junior year (which was Jasper, Rose, and Emmett's senior year) we were all dressed up and all the girls were wearing blue dresses of varying styles and the boys were all wearing black suites with blue ties. Edward was on the far left with his arm wrapped around my waist, next to me was Jasper who was standing next to Alice with his hands on mine and her shoulders (he was wearing a shit eating grin because we had just danced much to Edward's displeasure), next to Alice was Emmett with his arms wrapped around Rose's waist. We all looked very happy except Edward he was sulking and the only reason James allowed this picture out was because he said I looked very beautiful and he could tell that Edward looked pissed. I never told him he was angry that Jasper and I had danced.

Jasper looked at the picture and I saw a gleam in his eye. He looked at me and pointed to the picture. I nodded confirming that I remembered as well why Edward looked upset. I also thought about how that night after the picture was taken Edward and I disappeared to the meadow before the after party where we had sex so he would stop sulking. After we were finished he kissed me and we went to the party and got wasted. We were so wasted that we fell asleep in his car and didn't return home until the next morning and Esme covered up for me with Charlie.

I chuckled slightly remembering how disappointed she was in all of us for coming home drunk and hung over but she said she would let it slip that one time. After that we were all very careful to make it home or spend the night with "friends" but really we got hotel rooms. I asked Jasper to go get me a few boxes from the truck so I could pack my cloths he left the room to retrieve them. I walked over to closet and stepped inside reaching for the light.

Two things happened I felt a hand cover my mouth and another wrap around my holding my arms down. I heard the closet door shut. Fuck I should have listen to the uneasy feelings I was having because here I was in the clutches of James once again. Even though I couldn't see him I knew it was him because I could smell his scent.

"So Isabella you finally decided to come home to me, huh?" He purred in my ear. "You kept me waiting for a very long time. Now this is what you're going to do! You are going to go out there and make them all leave or I will shoot them all in front of you. And I'll have my way with the pretty blonde in front of you. Do you understand?" He said in an ice cold tone.

I looked down and seen the gun in his hand that was holding my arms down. So I nodded.

"Good girl I knew you would see things my way. Now can you go out there and get rid of them or do I have to? Don't fuck with me! You know what I am capable of." His voice was very calm and menacing.

I didn't know what to do. I knew they were not going to leave no matter what I said.

"Listen Isabella I told you I loved you and I was never going to let you go. Why have you made me resort to such measures? All I want is our family we will make another baby. I told you I want us to be a family and I can't wait to put my seed inside you again. I promise to be more careful with our child this time. It kills me to think that I hurt our first baby but the next one I will be extra careful with." He was rambling on and sounding very insane and for once I didn't smell alcohol on him and this scared the shit out of me. He was acting to calm and that scared me more than when he acted absolutely insane and out of control. It meant that fucked up shit was going to happen. The last time he was this calm I ended up waking up in the hospital three days later. I made up some bullshit about being jumped and not remembering what happened and the doctors believed me because the head injury beside James knew how to act all loving and supportive in front of authorities.

"I am gonna take my hand away from your mouth now so you can answer some questions. DON'T FUCKING SCREAM! I will make you regret it! Do you understand?" He said with the same calm menacing voice. I nodded my head in affirmation.

He removed his hand from my mouth and I remained quiet as he instructed. I was trying to come up with a plan of escape the whole time. Maybe if I play along for a minute I could dial 911 on my cell and let the police hear. First I needed to get out of his arms.

"Good girl, Isabella I am so pleased that you are finally listening and not fighting me. So can you get rid of them or do I have too?" He was rubbing his free hand up and down my arms while still holding them down.

"Y-Yes….J-James I will ask them to leave…" I stuttered out.

"Good, now I don't want any funny business! Go out there and tell them to leave. Make up any excuse but get them out! Oh and you have 5 minutes before I come out and do it myself! Understand?" He said icily.

"Y-Yes I, I un-understand." Tears were threatening to spill but I held them in with all my might because if I shed one tear James would flip the fuck out; I knew from experience. All I could think about was how to help my family and if anything happened to my Jazz I would never forgive myself.

James took the hand that was rubbing my arms and moved it down my body touching and caressing until he reached my pussy and he held it possessively and said "_MINE._" I wanted to vomit and I shuddered at his touch but he took it as a pleasurable shudder and rubbed me slightly.

"I am glad you are coming to your senses. Now get rid of them before I lose my patience. Oh and if pretty boy is out there your better make sure he doesn't touch you because I _will_ shoot him." He said through clenched teeth starting to lose his cool.

Then he took the gun and rubbed it along my face and mouth and then down towards my heart. I swallowed and tried to contain the tears and sob that threatened to come at any moment. I knew that as soon as I left this closet the others were going to know something was up. I only hoped I could get us all out of here unharmed. I was considering making a run for it. I figured he wouldn't follow me out there and I could just motion for all of them to leave and I would tell them to run and we could just take off together and come back with the police. But James must have sense this because as I started to take my leave he stopped me.

"You know what? I don't fucking trust you! I think you are gonna run for it! Maybe I should just go out there with you. You could tell them that we are meant to be together and make them leave. Besides I owe the pretty boy bitch of yours a black eye." He said through tightly clenched teeth.

A/N: I know sorry about the cliffy (he-he-he). But the chapter was getting long and I was in the wrong mood to finish. I would've probable killed Bella or someone special if I kept writing in this mood. Anyway next one should be up sooner than this one. I have no excuse unless you count reading fanficts. Until next time thanks for reading! Special shouts to reviewers and to those who added to favorites or alters, thank you. 3 ;-)


	12. Chapter 12

Twilight not mine *sigh* but thanks to SM for creating such wonderful characters and allowing us to play with them.

Well still not BETA'D and still has grammar issues *sorry* we can't all be prefect writers but I hope I am developing somewhat. Any way thanks for reading and enjoy.

Broken Heart

_Previously on Broken Heart_

_Then he took the gun and rubbed it along my face and mouth and then down towards my heart. I swallowed and tried to contain the tears and sob that threatened to come at any moment. I knew that as soon as I left this closet the others were going to know something was up. I only hoped I could get us all out of here unharmed. I was considering making a run for it. I figured he wouldn't follow me out there and I could just motion for all of them to leave and I would tell them to run and we could just take off together and come back with the police. But James must have sense this because as I started to take my leave he stopped me._

"_You know what? I don't fucking trust you! I think you are gonna run for it! Maybe I should just go out there with you. You could tell them that we are meant to be together and make them leave. Besides I owe the pretty boy bitch of yours a black eye." He said through tightly clenched teeth. _

Chapter 12

James

I sighed exasperated, what the fuck am I going to do now? I was never a good liar and even if I convince them I want to stay, Edward knows when I'm lying. I think that's why he is letting this shit with Jasper go on because he knows I'm not lying about my feelings. Fuck what am I going to do. How can I save them?

"Isabella" James drawled my name out "I don't like to wait! Let's go out there and you be a good girl and get RID of them NOW! I am quickly losing my patience and you're not pregnant yet so I can be as rough as I want." He says in a sickly sweet but menacing voice that made my skin crawl. I swallowed hard; I don't want to be alone with this asshole.

I took a deep breath to control my shaky voice "okay James I'll do whatever you want just don't hurt anyone please." I beg.

"That's right sweetness beg me. I love when you beg me." He whispered in my ear and pushed his erection into my back. That sick fucker was actually getting off on holding me at gun point.

I took a step toward the door. James grabbed my hair and pulled my ear to his mouth "Don't do anything stupid because I will hurt them. And you will be surprised what someone can live through! You won't be able to walk for a week when I'm done with you especially if you do something to upset me." You already have asshole I thought because the last beating left me broken and depressed.

"I promise to behave James. Just let me get rid of them and…." I trailed off I couldn't even bring myself to say the words that he could have me because I would rather die than be his again.

He wrapped his free arm around my waist pulling me flush with his body and put the gun against my back with the other one. He had the gun pressed up against my spine. One slip of his finger and I would be dead or paralyzed. He walked us towards the closet door and told me to open it. Then he pulled us through the bedroom and towards the door. I was praying that Jazz was not in the hall making his way done to the bedroom. Please be in the living room or outside I prayed.

When we reached the door I didn't hesitate to open it. I didn't want to piss him off by pausing. We continued our way down the hall and into the living room. When we got there Rosalie was alone.

She was packing my pictures and didn't notice us. James cleared his throat and Rosalie looked up. To say she was shocked would be the understatement of the year. I saw extreme anger and hate pass through her eyes. She looked at me with a questioning gaze. She looked absolutely confused.

"Bella what is going on?" Rose said with a very concerned and angry voice.

James pushed the gun deeper into my spine. "I want to be with James so please leave Rosalie." I said her full name to give her a hint because I never call her that anymore.

"Bella?" Rose questioned.

"Rosalie I lo-ve him I want to stay please just leave!" I said spitting out the word love with venom.

James noticed and presses the gun harder as a warning.

Just then I heard the voices of the guys approaching the apartment. They were joking about Edward being weak because apparently Jasper had to help Emmett carry out my china cabinet because Edward couldn't. Edward said "fuck you I'm not weak just because I didn't want to break her shit and piss her off."

Jasper and Emmett were laughing and said "yeah right pussy" at the same time.

I watched in horror as the door handle began to turn. Everything was moving in slow motion and I was about to lose the little control I had. I looked at Rose and I saw realization flicker across her face. She knew something was up. She quickly put an angry mask on so James wouldn't realize she knew I was bullshitting. Fuck I can't lie for shit! She figured it out in like two fucking minutes and now I have to convince the boys. The bile rose up my throat and I wanted to vomit. All I could think about was one of the people I love being hurt by this fucking psychopath.

Just then the door opened and in walked Emmett, Jasper, and Edward. Emmett was the first to notice James. He took one look at James's arm wrapped around my waist and I could see he wanted to rip it off.

"What the _fuck_ is going on here Bella? Are you okay?" Emmett said with concern and hatred.

"I-I want to stay with J-James." I stuttered. I couldn't keep my voice steady with the death glare Emmett was throwing at James. I have known Emmett for a very long time and I have never seen him this pissed. He was a teddy bear a freakishly huge one but all heart.

I couldn't bear to look at Jasper so I kept my eyes focused on Emmett. Then I heard loud footsteps. I turned my head and Jasper was making his way toward us. He was so pissed his eyes were black. I couldn't even see a hint of blue. I felt James tense up. He probably would've pissed his pants if he didn't have a gun. Fuck Jasper was scaring the shit out of me and he wasn't even looking at me. His eyes were focused solely on James.

"GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF HER!" Jasper roared at the top of his lungs.

"FUCK YOU PRETTY BOY!" James roared back.

"Bella?" Edward questioned.

I looked at him and he knew right away that I was not here willingly. I could see the realization in his eyes as he took a step forward. I gave him a serious look telling him no with my eyes. I looked toward Jasper to tell Edward to stop him. Edward caught on right away. He was never one to rush in and start screaming he surveyed the situation first and beat ass after. Jasper usually was the cool collected one that had to be pushed into a fight but not today he had death in his eyes. He wanted blood. He was making Emmett look like a kitten. Edward grabbed Jasper to stop him. Jasper shook him off but slowed his pace. He locked eyes with me and I could see the light bulb go off. Fuck, what is he going to do? They all know I am not in James's arms willingly. I can see it on all their faces so I mouthed the words "he has a gun."

Jasper and Edward caught on right away. Rose was standing behind Emmett trying to get to James but Emmett wouldn't let her pass. Emmett looked to Jasper and Edward and realized the situation must be serious because Emmett stood his ground. If he thought for one second that he could get to James, James would be on the ground already. Because even though Emmett was a teddy bear you don't fuck with his family or friends especially his little sister. Ever since we were kids he always said I was his little sister.

James pressed the gun into my spine harder. I winced at the pain.

"Please guys just leave." I said trying in vain to save them.

Emmett turned to Rose to whisper something in her ear but I heard her tell him "fuck that!" I'm guessing he told her to leave. I looked at her and plead with my eyes for her to listen but the stubborn bitch shook her head at me.

Now James may be crazy but he is not stupid. Because he caught on that his plan was fucked. He pulled the gun from my back and put it against my temple.

"Now listen because I am only going to say this once!" He spit out. "The four of you are going to sit on that couch over there and keep your fucking mouths shut. Or I will kill her!"

I watched in horror as they all walked to the couch and sat down. They were all staring daggers at James. I could feel the amusement rolling off James. He was happy to be in control. I know them all too well and if James thought they were going down without a fight he was very mistaken.

James pulled me in front of them on the other side of the coffee table in front of the TV. He started moving his free hand up my body caressing as he went. I wanted to vomit. I looked at Jasper and I could see by the look in his eyes that he wanted to kill James.

This only served to stir James on "oh pretty boy you don't like me touching my sweetness do you?" James purred trying to get Jasper to make a move.

Tears started trailing down my face. I couldn't hold them in anymore. I stifled the sob though because I didn't want James to notice I was crying. Rosalie looked heart broken and I saw tears fall from her lovely blue eyes as well. I have never seen Rosalie cry once in all the years I have known her. James moved his hand to my breast and squeezed hard making me wince. This really pissed the guys off. Jasper went to move but Emmett stopped him. Jasper looked at Emmett with a disgusted look but Emmett shook his head no.

"Yeah pretty _boy_ listen to him don't move or I will _shoot_ her or maybe I'll shoot your pretty blonde sister first. Then I will fuck sweetness in front of you making her scream my _name_. You would _love _that, wouldn't you? You know I should've known what kind of whore she was because all this time I thought she was back with that stupid idiot." James pointed at Edward. "I guess she finally gave up on you, huh? What's wrong Eddie boy your pretty boy brother got a bigger dick? Or are you both fucking her? You know Isabella-"James was cut off by a roar.

I looked towards the couch to see who it was and I saw Edward panting. "YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SICK FUCKER! IF YOU HARM ONE HAIR ON HER HEAD I WILL KILL YOU SLOWLY!" Edward roared out.

"Ha and what are you going to do? You left her remember? If it wasn't for _you_ she would've never found a real man like me. I have had her for the last two years! It's my dick she sucked and it's my dick that was inside her." James said menacingly with the intent to get Edward or Jasper to react.

When James realized that they weren't going to react the way he wanted he decided to taunt them some more. He moved the gun from my temple slowly moving it along my jaw and into my mouth.

"OPEN UP! Sweetness just like you always have!" James spat at me.

I did as asked and I saw the fire burn up in Jasper's eyes and then I looked at Edward and seen a rage I have never seen in his eyes as well. Fuck these two are going to get us all killed. Emmett must have seen the fear in my eyes and felt Jasper tense up next to him because he whispered "don't guys" towards them.

Then James took it one step further and moved the gun down my body stopping at my heart and said "this belongs to me and no one else or I will destroy it!"

After a few moments and still no respond from Jasper or Edward he moved the gun down toward my sex pushing the gun in between my legs as hard as he could then he says "yeah I know how to get to you guys maybe I'll fuck her with the gun and then my dick in front of y-"

He was cut off by Jasper and Edward lunging at him. Everything was happening so fast. One minute I was in James's arms the next I was on the ground being held onto by Jasper. I looked next to me and see a very pissed off Edward pounding James's face in and Emmett trying to get the gun out of his hands. The next thing I know I hear a gun shot. My heart is racing and I feel hot searing pain in my arm. I look around frantically and see that Emmett is bleeding from his hand and I am bleeding from my upper arm.

"Bella darlin' are you, okay?" I hear Jasper panting and pleading.

"Yes Jazz my arm hurts though! How is Emmett?" I say through gritted teeth trying to ignore the pain in my arm.

"I'm fine Belly Boo the bullet went straight through my hand." Emmett says with humor lacing his voice.

I don't know how he makes a joke out of being shot but the fucker does. Jasper helps me to my feet and looks at my arm.

"Grab some towels for them Rosalie." Jazz says.

"Okay Jazz I will and the police are on the way." Rose says with relief.

I look at the ground to see Edward holding a bleeding James down on the floor. Then Emmett surprises me and kicks the shit out of James saying "that's for my fucking hand and this is for Bella" as he kicks him three more times in the gut. Jasper lets go of me for a second and bends over James whispering something in his ear I could not make out. Then he punches him in the mouth and says "I fucking told you last time not to talk to Bella like that!" After that he stands and kicks him in the face.

James is bleeding from the face from the damage done by Edward and Jasper and he is holding his stomach from the kicks he received from Emmett. Then Rosalie comes over to him and grabs his dick and balls through his jeans and says "You better hope the police never let you out because the next time I see your fucking face I will cut your dick and balls off and feed them to you!" Rose screams in his face.

I look at my family and smile. They really do love me. I am slightly horrified that I am enjoying him being abused but I cannot bring myself to care. In the distance I hear the sirens of the police and ambulance.

"I will call dad to meet us at the hospital." Rose says sweetly.

Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and I walk into the kitchen to check the wounds. Rosalie holds a towel around Emmett's hand. Jasper holds a towel pushed against my wound and I can feel the bullet pressing into my muscle so I wince at the pain.

"Emmett I hope you're clean because I don't want to have to get tested again!" I said jokingly at him.

He laughs out loud and said "I don't know Rose do you have some explaining to do because you're the only one I ever fucked!"

She punches him in the arm and he cries "hey injured person here!"

"Well Emmett I guess we are blood siblings now, huh?" I questioned humorously.

"Hell yeah Belly Boo now I am officially your brother! Too bad I'm not a Cullen though because then you would be blood related to Rosie too. Oh but EW then you couldn't fuck the Cullen brothers any more either because that would be incest!" Emmett jokes earning him a smack across the back of the head from Rosalie.

"Thanks Rosie he really did deserve that one!" I jokingly yelled.

I looked at Jasper and then towards Edward to gage their reactions to Emmett's joke and they both looked pissed. Edward was still hovering over James making sure he wouldn't get up.

"Now, now bros don't take it so seriously. You know I'm only fucking around, right?" Emmett asked Edward and Jasper.

"Fuck you!" They both yelled in unison.

Emmett mumbled an apology and I just shrugged. Even though I hadn't slept with Jazz yet it didn't bother me. I made my decision not to dwell on the past. I was all for moving forward with Jasper now and I had accepted that Edward and I will always have a past. It didn't escape my mind that Jasper and Edward loved me very much because they both rushed a mad man to save me. Fuck I feel like shit for hurting Edward but I cannot deny my heart any more especially after living through this shit. I guess one thing will come of the shit storm James did and that was waking my ass up because I really want to move forward with Jazz. I want to go visit my dad and when I come back I am going to ask Jasper to be mine.

I miss my dad so much and after today it's time I went to see him and tell him what has been going on. I imagine all of us will have to testify against James so I plan on visiting Forks in a few weeks. I have two weeks left for the semester at school and then I will spend at least two weeks with my dad. Maybe I'll ask Rosalie to come so we can go fishing with my dad. She and I used to love fishing together as kids. I wonder if Emmett would let her go alone for two weeks we need some sister time. I would love to show her the meadow and the cliffs I used to frequent in Forks that I am sure she never seen. The meadow was a secret between Edward and I and the cliffs Jacob showed me after the Cullens left.

Saying goodbye to Edward as a lover and having Rosalie with me to help me learn to embrace him as a brother will be perfect. I only hope Jasper won't be upset that I want to go alone or with Rosalie. I need time to process all the shit that has happened in my life and prepare for my future.

Jasper pulled me from my thoughts as he cupped my face between his hands "really baby are you alright? You looked lost there for a second I thought you might pass out on me!" Jasper said concern lacing his words.

"No Jazz I promise I am fine. I was just thinking about my dad. Its time I told him what has been happening in my life and I was thinking that it would be better said in person." I said.

"Okay darlin' whatever you like. But you are right he has a right to know. I hope this means you forgive him for not telling you we were looking for you?" Jasper questioned.

"Yea Jazzy after today and being fucking shot and held at gun point I think pettiness is…..not worth it" I stated firmly.

He kissed my temple and whispered in my ear "I was so fucking scared….I thought he was gonna….fuck I gotta stop thinking about it…I am so fucking proud of you baby…." Jasper kept trailing off as he spoke he was obviously upset.

I turned my head and kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear "thank you so much for saving me and please don't get mad or upset because I want to properly thank Edward as well." I said hesitantly.

"Of course I will watch over James for him so you can thank him…I imagine you'd like to do so before the paramedics get up here?" Jazz asked.

I nodded and kissed him chastely on the lips. His eyes lit up and he pulled me in for an Emmett style hug avoiding my arm. Then he kissed my lips twice and turned around and walked out of the kitchen towards Edward and James. He placed a hand on Edward's shoulder and told him that I wanted him in the kitchen. Edward made it to the kitchen in 5 fast and large steps practically running to get to me. He had questions in his eyes probably trying to figure out what I wanted. I looked toward Jasper who had his back to us probably not wanting to see me thanking his brother.

I looked into Edward's emerald eyes that were sparkling with love and hope and I only saw a brother standing before me. At that moment I knew 100% that I would never see him as a lover again. I closed the distance between us and gave him a one armed hug being careful not to move my injured arm. He bent down slightly and wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me as tight as he could.

I leaned to his ear and whispered "thank you so much for saving my life Edward…I will never forget it…I am so sorry I cannot love you the way I used too. Please forgive me but I do love you…just not as a lover but as a brother…I am sorry…but thank you….I will always love you Edward always…I promise but not in the way you want and deserve. I forgive you for leaving I know why you had to and I am so very sorry my heart changed." I had tears in my eyes and he lifted his eyes to me he had unshed tears as well.

He leaned in my ear and said "Bella love I will always love you with all my heart and I am sorry but I just can't ignore the fact that I still love you as a lover and not as a sister….Maybe one day my heart will find someone as lovely as you but right now it only wants and needs you…I will not interfere with your happiness though…that I can promise you…I will always love you my dear Bella…You will always be my Bella just now I will have to accept the fact that you are Jasper's Bella as well….but I guess you have always been his Bella…I just never thought he would be your Jasper…" He kept trailing off not wanting to say what needed to be said but I was glad he was starting to understand the way Jasper and I feel about each other.

I grabbed his chin with my good hand and kissed each of his cheeks, his nose, and finally his forehead. He took my hand from his chin and kissed it and then cupped my face in his hands and kissed each of my cheeks, then my forehead and nose, and finally lightly on my lips. Then he leaned in to my ear and whispered "sorry I won't do that again I just really needed to feel those lips again…I was so fucking scared that I would lose you today…I want to fucking kill that bastard for what he did and said….I am so fucking happy that you're okay…" Edward trailed off.

He put his arms around my waist again and hugged me tightly and said "I will let Jasper come back and take care of you my Bella, love….and I won't cause any problems for you guys….as long as he takes good care of you, I will stand to the side….but if he ever hurts you….just please remember if your heart changes and wants me back I will be waiting in the wings for you! I love you my Bella, always!" He whispered and then walked back over to Jazz with two tears trailing down his cheeks.

As Jasper made his way back over to me the police and paramedics made their way into the apartment and started asking questions about what happened. The paramedics looked Emmett and I over and I asked if we could ride in the ambulance together since the others wouldn't be allowed. The paramedic said yes and ushered Emmett and I out the door telling the officers that they could get our statements at the hospital.

One of the paramedics told Jasper what hospital we were going to. Jasper called Carlisle and gave him the information and tried to follow Emmett and me out the door. One of the officers stopped him and told him he needed to give his statement first. He grudgingly agreed and walked over to me and kissed me and promised to be at the hospital as soon as possible. I told him not to worry that Emmy Bear would be with me.

"Yeah bro I got my Belly Boo don't worry. I won't let anything happen to my little sister you know that!" Emmett told Jazz with a big ass smile.

"I know Em I just hate letting her out of my sight especially after today…..I just hope James is put in a different hospital then you guys or I'm gonna go crazy!" Jasper said with pain and anger in his voice.

"I will be in good hands Jazzy." I said smiling at Jasper to reassure him.

"Yeah don't worry Jazzy I will make sure they put us in the same room or heads will fucking roll." Emmett stated with a very serious and menacing tone that meant business as he eyed the paramedic.

One of the paramedics walked us out the door as the other one stood behind to check on James.

"Hi my name is Ben and I will be escorting you two to the hospital." The paramedic said with a smile.

"Hi I am Bella Swan and this is Emmett McCarty my big brother." I said with a laugh.

Ben eyed Emmett and gulped. Yeah that's right Ben, fuck with me and you fuck with him I thought to myself. But Ben was so nice I couldn't be mean to him and I gave Em the stink eye so he would behave. I decided to call Angela to let her know what happened because knowing her she would make it to the hospital before we did. She said Rose already told her and she would be awaiting our arrival at the emergency room. Gosh I have the best non-blood family in the world! I had three sisters: Rosalie, Angela, and possibly Alice and I had my big brother Emmett and Edward whom I was starting to see as a brother, a wonderful set on second parents and of course my Jasper.

A/N: I figured it would be best to leave it here before they get to the hospital or else the chapter would be too long. As always thanks for reading and reviewing, I love to hear what you think of my first attempt at a story….No pressure though I don't need reviews to keep me going I do this because I love a challenge and I love to learn new things….I have lots of stories in my crazy head so this was a stepping stone the next one will be insane with lots more angst and drama and vamps of course…lol…I already started it but I won't post until I'm further into this one or finished with it.


	13. Chapter 13

Still don't own Twilight that is all the wonderful work of SM.

Warning not Beta'd and I'm still learning the ropes hope you enjoy. Thank you to all that have fav'd, alerted, and reviewed and I am blown away by the response at my first attempt at a story especially one without cannon pairings it just tickles my heart.

Broken Heart

Chapter 13

Hospital

During the ride to the hospital Emmett, Ben (the paramedic), and I started joking around. Ben was really great he had a way to joke about stupid shit and I didn't even notice when he put the stupid IV in my hand. Ben was telling us about this shy girl he knew in school and how he let her go because she had big dreams and he didn't want to hold her back. I am starting to think we have a new friend; Emmett seems to like him as well. It's kind of funny because Emmett doesn't take well to too many new people so for him to take a liking to Ben this quickly it was shocking. Ben reminded me of Emmett with his playful banter yet serious nature.

"So Bella which one was your man?" Ben asked.

"Um, um I it's kind of complicated right now." I said with a grimace.

"Well it's not really complicated Belly Boo you're in love with Jasper but you used to love Edward, stop fucking over thinking shit and just go with it!" Emmett said with humor in his voice.

"I'm so fucking happy you find my shit sooo fucking amusing Emmy Bear!" I said with a frown that morphed into a smile because shit I couldn't be mad at him if I tried.

"Well I feel a little left out wanna fill me in Bella?" Ben said with amusement in his voice.

"Well the one you saw by that asshole James is Edward and we were high school sweethearts and now I am sort of seeing his brother Jasper….but Edward is still in love with me and Jasper has loved me since we were little….and I guess I have loved him since then too….I mean at least now that I look back on it I have always loved him…I was just scared of it so I…I was with Edward….but I did really love Edward but now I don't know I just don't love him that way anymore and I am starting to think I never did…I am such a horrible person….I don't fucking know why or how Jasper can love someone so fucking selfish as me…hey why am I telling you this anyway I don't even know you? What the fuck did you give me anyway?" I was rambling and pouring my heart out to a complete stranger and to Emmett.

"Oh Belly Boo you are not a selfish person you just are confused and scared I know how much you love Jasper and I can't blame you for that. Not at all and Edward is a big boy and he made his mistakes and now he will pay for them because that stupid asshole should've _never_ left or let you go. I would've never let you go if I were him fuck he is so stupid. You see I could've easily left Rosie and went with my biological family but I loved her too damn much so I stayed and that was the best choice I ever made. Edward made his stupid ass decision and fucked all of our lives up by leaving you. Yeah I know how it sounds like I want revenge but he took you away from me and you have always been like a little sister to me. It was hell living without you and not knowing what was happening to you or where you were and the shit that Rosie went through without was just too damn much. I hope you know how much she loves you all of us do. Even Edward but he fucked up and I truly believe Jasper deserves a chance at happiness with you. Since you have been back in our lives I see a light in his eyes that was never there and believe me I have been his friend our whole lives I know what I am talking about. I see a light in Rosie too and I have never seen her so happy and complete and you do that you are the missing piece to our family. I just want you to know that…." Emmett was so serious and I loved him all the more for it.

I wrapped my good arm around him and kissed his cheek. I watched as a single tear rolled down his face. I wiped it away.

"Oh my Emmy Bear I fucking love you soooo much and you are my big brother always have been and always will be no matter what! Oh and Ben what the fuck did you give him? Fuck Emmett you are never this fucking serious not that I'm complaining but you're kind of scaring the shit out of me…damn…..I just fuck never mind I'm just fucked up on whatever Ben put in this IV….I love you big bro…" My thoughts were all over the place I couldn't think straight.

I heard the both of them laughing and I think the driver was laughing too.

"You should t, talk…." I slurred out not being able to finish towards Emmett.

"Fu-fuck you Belly Boo….Shit I am fucked up what the fuck did you give us Ben?" Emmett was slurring and starting to get incoherent just like me.

"I gave you guys some Demerol to take the edge off the pain till we get to the hospital. It's actually kind of funny you guys are absolutely adorable confusing all this stuff about how you feel if I didn't know already I would think you guys are real brother and sister. We need to meet up after you guys are well and go out sometime. I never usually get along with too many people and I kind of like you guys. Besides I really want to meet your Jasper and Edward they sound great and of course I want to see this Rosalie!" Ben voice was coming in and out I wasn't too sure if I was hearing him right or not.

"Y-you should meet my friend Angela she would be…" I trailed off.

"Um yeah that sounds fun." Ben said with hesitation.

"Wh-what is wrong Ben? You don't wanna meet An-gela or what?" I was getting more and more incoherent as I went.

"No its, it's not that I, I just…..fuck…the girl I left was named Angela I have regretted it ever since and…I guess hearing your story about Edward makes me think maybe I was wrong in leaving her….because I don't think I could handle her being with someone else…I mean I want her to be happy but I want her to be happy with me…fuck I sound insane…I mean you guys are strangers and messed up on a lot of Demerol right now…" Ben sounded so heartbroken I just wanted to hug him and make him feel better.

I listened closely to his words and I could hear the love in his words I wanted to jump out of this ambulance and find his Angela for him. Fuck I am so selfish here I am wanting to help Ben fix his mistakes but I wouldn't let Edward but I just can't bring myself to let Jasper go. I really don't feel those feelings for Edward anymore and now I want to help Ben. What does that make me?

A fucking hypocrite that's what, shit I need to clear my head. These pain killers are fucking my thoughts up I need to sleep.

The next thing I know we are pulling into the emergency parking lot at the hospital and I hear voices but my mind is cloudy and I can't make them out. As my eyes fluttered the voices started to make sense. I could hear Carlisle and Esme asking "where are our children and how are they doing?" It was Esme's pained voice I was hearing.

"Are you Dr. and Mrs. Cullen?" Ben asked as he opened the doors to the ambulance.

"Yes we are. May I ask who wants to know?" Carlisle questioned Ben.

"Because they are in my ambulance, sir." Ben told Carlisle.

"Oh my babies how are you?" I heard Esme's concerned voice approaching the ambulance.

"Mom we are fine just a little high on some meds." Emmett answered her.

"Oh my goodness Isabella are you, okay?" I could hear all the panic in her voice.

Then she was there right next to me pushing Emmett out of the way and hugging the shit out of me.

"Hey mom I'm injured too" Emmett whined dejectedly.

"Oh man up Emmy!" Esme joked.

"I'm hurt ma really hurt and I don't mean my hand." Emmett joked putting his hand in front of Esme

"Oh sweetie you know I am only kidding around…I love you Emmy let me see your hand." Esme said lovingly.

He showed her his hand and pouted.

"Come here Emmett let me take a look while we take you to triage." Carlisle told Emmett.

"Oh and Bella I will be right back to check on you as well. I just want to make sure you two are placed in the same room. Mom will wait with you because James is already in there in triage and we want to make sure you don't have to see him." Carlisle said through gritted teeth and I could see by the pained look in his eyes he wanted to kill James for hurting us.

"Okay dad! Don't worry mom will take excellent care of me." I said with a slight smile to reassure him.

"Alright then Bella I will be back as soon as everything is taken care of, I promise." Carlisle said with conviction.

"Really honey how are you doing? Are you in a lot of pain? Jazz called us and filled us in on what happened. How are you holding up emotionally?" Esme said with a motherly tone yet she meant business when she was asking for answers.

"Mom _really_ I am okay my arm just hurts a little. I promise I am fine emotionally. I mean of course I am shaken up but I kind of expected he would do something crazy. I sort of have been waiting for it. I am just so sorry all the others were involved as well. It hurts so much that Emmett got hurt because of me." I said through tears.

"Oh honey this is _not_ your _fault _it is solely James's fault. Please don't blame _yourself _for someone that is so unstable. I don't want to hear anymore of you blaming yourself. And as for Emmett he is going to be just fine. Dad will make sure of it and I am more than positive that Em will tell you it's not your fault as well." Esme was using a tone that meant business.

"okay mom I promise I won't blame myself…it's just so hard not to…I love you so much Es-mom…I am so happy to have you guys back and I was so scared…" I said as the tears fell freely down my cheeks and on my neck.

Esme gently pulls me into a loving embrace and starts chanting "everything will be okay mama is here and I _always_ will be. I love you so much Bella!"

"I love you to mom." I stuttered through tears.

She wiped my tears away and said "You're a Cullen and Cullen's never give up! I see it in you you're a fighter! We will get through this and we will help you because we are family. I love you so much Bella just as I was your mother. Your mother may have birthed youbut I am your mother in every way that counts with the bonus of you loving my son the way he deserves to be loved. I know you have been through so much and a lot was because of my other son and the rest of us but I see how Jasper and you look at each other. It reminds me of how Carlisle and I see each other….Please don't worry about Edward he will adjust….I don't want you breaking yours or Jasper's heart because you feel guilty or unworthy…Bella you are the very best person with the most loving heart and Jasper and you deserve each other….my son has such love for you and when I see him with you I understand now just why he was the way he was as a teenager because he always loved you but he didn't want to hurt his brother. But now I think he finally gets it that he deserves love and happiness and Edward will find it in his own time once he faces his demons. I'm sorry to put this all on you now but I've needed to say this and after today there is no putting it off….I love you Isabella and I can't wait for the day when you finally become a Cullen officially!" Esme said all of this with so much love and conviction that we were both crying.

"I love you so much mom. You're so right you are my mom in all the ways that count. And I am so tired of fighting my feelings for Jasper and I want to be with him. I already told Edward how I feel and he promises to give Jazz and I a chance at happiness. I plan on being with Jasper after I speak with my dad because it's time I told him what has been happening in my life the last few years and I can finally forgive him. Also I want the tell him about my feelings for Jasper and then when I come back I want to move forward with Jazz…but I don't want to tell Jazz until I come back because I know him he won't let me go by myself if I tell him. So please leave this conversation between us." The tears finally stopped falling as I told Esme how I felt and everything I wanted.

"Of course my dear I would never harm the trust between us. You should know that, remember the weekend we spent together when you came back from Renee's? I never told anyone what we discussed then and I never will. That was our mother daughter weekend and I can't wait till Rose, you, and I can have one…maybe we can meet up at that same hotel spa in Seattle when you take your trip!" Esme was smiling so brightly when she said this that she made me giddy with excitement about spending a mother daughter weekend with her and Rosalie.

"Yes mom that would be perfect!" I said with a bright smile that made her smile so big I thought her face would crack.

Just then I spotted Angela running toward the ambulance with tears in her eyes. But as she neared the ambulance I watched as Ben's face paled. Holy shit I think my Angela is his Angela. Wow this is great she told me about the man she loved that broke her heart and now they have a second chance. This is just so perfect! I hope that it doesn't hurt Edward to see them two get the second chance that we couldn't have. In fact it was more like Jazz and I have this beautiful second chance to embrace the feelings I tried to deny all these years. I feel like such a bitch that I didn't give him the chance we deserved because I was scared of being hurt and in the end I ended up hurt and broken anyway. Yeah that is karma for you but not this time I am done fucking hiding. I want to fall head over heels in fact I know it's too late I already am.

"Bella oh Bella are you, okay?" Angela's panicked voice broke me from my thoughts.

"I'm fine Ang I just got shot in the arm…can you believe the bullet went through Emmett's hand and into my arm? But don't worry Car-Dad is getting a room for Emmett and me to share right now. I'm just waiting for it to be set up…Hey let me introduce you to the paramedic that saved me….Angela this is Ben…Ben this is Angela…" I said with a shaky voice because judging by the stares they were giving each other I was positive they knew each other.

"Yeah Bell I know him…he's the one I told you about… but anyway how is your arm? Let me see it." She was avoiding his eyes now.

"An-angie please…can we please talk? I, I mean after Bella is settled….." Ben trailed off but I could see the determination in his eyes.

I looked at Esme and I could see the light come to her eyes as she witnessed what was going on and she gave Angela a reassuring nod. Over the last few weeks Angela had become a part of the family and Esme just wanted all of us to be happy.

"O-okay Ben we can talk after Bella is settled if, if you want…" I could hear the apprehension in her voice and she looked at me and I smiled and mouthed "Please talk to him" to her and she nodded in return.

A huge smile spread across his face as she agreed to talk to him. My heart sped up knowing that they were taking the first step to forgiveness even if they didn't get back together at least they would have closure. That is how I feel about Edward even though it's confusing and I feel shitty about loving Jazz at least I can forgive Edward and try to be friends.

Just then I started to feel dizzy and I looked down at my bandaged arm and I could see the blood leaking through.

"Ben I think something's wro-"I started to get dizzier and I couldn't speak.

The next thing I knew Ben was by me putting pressure on my arm and yelling out orders but I couldn't make out the words and then everything went black.

A few hours later

I started to wake from the darkness and I could feel both my hands being held and I could hear muffled voices. I couldn't make out the voices because I was still not fully awake yet. But I could feel the warmth my left hand was wrapped in and I knew that was my Jasper and my right hand was in a smaller grip Esme my mama. My eyes started to flutter open and I started making out the voices.

"I think she is waking look at her eyes they are starting to flutter." Rose's voice sounded very tired and scared.

"Bella, Bella are you awake? Baby please squeezes my hand if you can hear me." Jasper said with an anxious voice. I could hear the tears in his voice.

"Bella honey are you awake please give me a sign….wiggle your fingers or something….please honey….please come back to us….." Esme said through sobs.

"Belly Boo open your eyes for your big bro pleeeeeease!" Emmett begged.

Then I felt Esme let go of my right and I felt someone lean over me and whisper "Bella love come back to us baby we love you so much…we can't lose you now…we just got you back…please Bella love…I've missed you so fucking much and you just started talking to me….please Bella I told you already if you want Jasper you can have him I won't stand in your way…just come back to us…." I felt Edward's tears run down from my ear to my neck and he grabbed my right hand in his again.

It was so weird having Jasper holding my left hand with all the electric tingles and warmth and then Edward holding my right hand with the warmth and comfort I felt in my past. It was a feeling I missed for so long but I no longer desired instead I longed for the electric warmth radiating off of Jasper. I was trying so hard to respond to them I wanted to tell them I was here and listening to them. I was stuck in this darkness that I couldn't seem to shake. I started thinking back to what got me here.

I remember looking at my bandage and telling someone about the blood and then everything went dark. I could hear faint whispers and panicking. I remember something about surgery and emergency. Fuck why can't I move? I started to panic and I think Jasper must have felt it because now he was leaning over me.

"Baby girl come back to me….I can't live without you….I can't breathe right…please baby I…I need you…I just need to see those beautiful brown eyes of yours…please darlin' come back to me….I'll do anything….please…" Jasper was peppering my face with kisses as he whispered in my ear.

I could feel Edward tense up but he didn't interrupt and he only gently squeezed my hand and whispered "come back to him please if not for me do it for him my love."

What the fuck is going on? I was starting to feel sick having both my old love and my new love holding my hands whispering in my ears. Fuck why is Jasper letting this happen? I summoned all my strength and squeezed Jasper's hand. It was weak but I knew he felt it.

"Oh my god baby….yes fucking yes…I knew you were in there…please can you open your eyes for me?" Jazz said with hope laced in his words.

I opened my eyes to see Jazz's sparkling wet blue eyes looking at me. I watched as a tear spilled down his face. I reached up and wiped it away letting go of Edward's hand because he was holding my good hand. At that moment all I seen was my Jasper and I knew how much I loved him but I still couldn't say the words. I finally broke away from his gaze and looked at Esme.

"Mom what happened to me?" I croaked out barely above a whisper.

She rushed back over to my right side and pushed Edward out of the way.

"Oh honey I love you so much I am so happy you finally woke up. I'll go get your father so he can explain things to you….he is in the cafeteria getting some coffee and speaking to the doctor that worked on you. You had surgery on your arm and lost quite a bit of blood but he can explain better….him or your doctor. I spoke with Charlie and told him what happened and he will be here tomorrow. I hope you don't mind I mean you told me you forgave him and it was touch and go for a while before….." Esme started sobbing and couldn't speak coherently anymore.

"Jazzy how long have I been out of it?" I looked pleadingly into his fiery blues eyes.

"Um-um a few days…." Jasper chocked out obviously still struggling with all the emotions.

"How long is a few days exactly?" I questioned him.

"Three days my darlin'….a very long three days." He answered through tears.

"Okay call dad so I can speak to him I would rather hear it from him instead of some strange doctor please." I told Jazz.

I looked around the room and I see Emmett lying in the bed next to me with Rosalie lying next to him. Edward was sitting in a chair next to my bed. Finally I looked near the windows and saw a very passed out Angela and Ben on the couch in the corner. They looked so cute all cuddled up in each other's arms.

I looked at Rose and motioned toward Ang and Ben and she shrugged. Then she said "well now we have 7 until Alice comes back then we will have 9 because she has a new guy. They are going to visit in two months. Now all we got to do is find Edward someone and we will be complete. Right Eddie-boy?" She smirked at him.

He sent her a death glare but I could see the hurt in his eyes and I turned back to Rose and frowned and she just shrugged. Esme left the room to go fetch Carlisle so he could tell me what was going on. I looked at my bandaged arm and moved it around slightly not letting go of Jasper's hand. He went to let go and I grabbed on tighter so he kept his hand there. Surprisingly it didn't hurt as much as it did before I passed out. I looked down at my right hand and cringed because I forgot about the damn IV until then.

"Is your arm bothering you darlin' because I will call the nurse for some pain meds if you need them?" Jasper questioned.

"No Jazzy I was just checking to see how it felt. It's not really hurting right now but I guess I'm probably doped up on some meds already, right?" I said.

"Yea pretty much!' Emmett said chuckling.

I laughed with him. I was feeling so happy and content looking at my family and friends sitting here with me. I could see all the worry and exhaustion on their faces and I knew I had to make them go get some sleep.

"Well since I'm awake and alive I suppose you guys need to go get some rest please. You guys all look like shit. Sorry mom but you do. You guys look like you haven't slept in days. Have all of you been here the whole time?" I said looking at my family.

"Yeah pretty much! Except for me I have been in this bed next to you but I was technically released yesterday but I refused to leave along with everyone else. But don't worry dad took care of it and paid for this private room so I guess we can take turns staying with you until your release." Emmett said through laughter making everyone look slightly embarrassed knowing how I hated so much attention.

I smiled at them and said "thank you guys so much for being here with me I love all of you so much." I said with happy tear pricking at my eyes.

"I don't know about them but I'm not leaving your side darlin'." Jasper said with conviction.

I squeezed his hand to let him know I didn't want him to leave either. I saw Edward grimace out of the side of my eye but I ignored it because he was trying at least.

"I don't want you to leave Jazz….Not yet I just want everyone to get some sleep, food, and shower…it's not necessary for all of you to be here….I know you all have lives…Not that I don't appreciate your presence because I do I am so happy and feel so loved that all of you are by my side…but I don't want anyone of you being uncomfortable because of me.." I said with as much love as I could portray in my voice and eyes.

"Nonsense Bella honey we all want to be here by your side because we all love you dear." Esme said lovingly.

"Okay as long as no one is uncomfortable or anything…." I trailed off.

Just then Carlisle walked in the door with a bright and relieved smile on his face.

"Daddy!" I exclaimed.

His smile widened so much at my loving word his face looked like it would crack.

"Bella I am so happy to see you awake and smiling." Carlisle said with love.

"So doc what's the verdict, dad?" I said with slight apprehension lacing my words.

"Well Bells I'm not technically your doctor but I am very well acquainted with him and he gave me permission to inform you of your injuries after I explained to him your dislike of doctors and hospitals. So to sum it all up the bullet grazed a major artery in your arm causing major blood loss. During the operation to repair the damage you lost a lot of blood and had several transfusions. However he was able to repair the damage without any permanent damage to nerves or any other part of your arm. You should make a full recovery and be able to get out of here in a few days. They just need to watch you for a few days to make sure you're okay because you were asleep for longer than was expected. The nurse and doctor should be in within the hour to check all of your vitals and do some tests to make sure you're in good health." Carlisle explained.

"Thanks for telling me everything dad….and thanks for explaining my fears to the doctor….I love you dad. Is my other dad coming here or can you call him and tell him that I will come visit him after my semester ends?" I asked Carlisle.

"Of course sweetheart I will make that call right now for you." He reassured me with a smile.

Then he kissed my forehead and walked out to make the call. After that the nurse and doctor came in and took my vitals and doped me up some more. So I made everyone promise to go home and get some rest. Everyone except for Jasper and Edward left. Yeah that was fucking awkward. Finally after a few hours Edward gave in and went home.

I made Jasper go lay down on the other bed for some rest. I watched him sleep until the recent round of meds took over and I fell fast asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

Twilight Not Mine but playing in the sandbox with the characters a definite plus.

A/N warning not beta'd all mistakes my own. Shout out and thanks to all those who have read, reviewed, alerted, favorite, and recommended this fict.

Broken Heart

Chapter 14

James strikes again

I woke up feeling really out of it. I was disoriented and my head felt like it was in a vice. I tried to move my arms to rub my head but I couldn't. I started to open my eyes but everything was blurry. What the hell is wrong with my head? I tried to focus my vision but I felt really dizzy. I started to panic. I tried to move my arms again but couldn't.

"Jazz?" I whispered.

No answer, huh? What is going on? I know that anything short of death couldn't make him leave my side. He already proved that the last time I was injured. I opened my eyes again, this time I started to focus on the room. I looked up at the ceiling and it looked different than before. I turned my head and I gasped. I was no longer in the hospital bed I went to sleep in. Instead I was lying in a different hospital bed in a different room it was darker and dirty. What the fuck is going on? I looked down at my arms and I was strapped to the bed both my arms and legs. I looked around the room trying to focus. In the corner I could make out a silhouette of a man sitting up against a pole. I focused harder and I could see it was Jasper and he was tied to the pole with his head slumped over. Oh my GOD is he dead? Tears started to pour down my face. I pulled all my strength together and spoke louder "Jasper!"

I saw his head move and I felt instant relief. At least we're alive! He didn't respond but he was starting to move around and it looked like he was waking. I looked around the room to see if I could figure out what was going on and where I was. I lifted my head the best I could given the straps that were holding me in place and I couldn't make out anyone else in the room. I could tell we were in a hospital room but it looked as if it hadn't been used in a really long time. It looked as if we were in a basement type of room. Then I spotted something in the opposite corner from Jasper, it was a woman sleeping in a chair. I wasn't sure who she was or if she was the reason we were here. I decided to ignore her and call out to Jasper again.

"Jasper, Jasper baby answer me." I whisper yelled.

I could see his body start to move and he slowly lifted his head. In the dim light I could see his face and I gasped. He had bruises everywhere and both his eyes were black. Fear started to run down my spine and one name came to my mind, James. I knew it had to be James that did this. But I could figure out how. I racked my brain for any information I could remember. The last thing I recall in falling asleep in my hospital room with Jasper in the bed across from me. I remember arguing with him to sleep in that bed so he could be comfortable and he pouted and bitched that he wanted to be next to me. I said no and he finally gave in and we both fell asleep. I don't remember anything after that. Before that the nurse gave me my pain meds and left the room. What the hell did I miss?

"Jasper baby can you hear me?" I pleaded.

He started to struggle against his restraints.

"Jasper baby look at me!" I pleaded.

He stopped struggling and lifted his head. He slowly opened his eyes. Our eyes met and I could see the pain and worry in them.

"What's going on? Where the fuck are we?" I asked him.

"Bella?" He whispered.

"Yes baby?" I answered.

"Are you okay, love?" He asked.

"Yes I think so? My arms and legs are restrained but I seem okay. Do you know what's going on?" I asked.

"Baby I was so fucking scared…I mean you were out of it for so fucking long…..I thought you weren't going to wake…." He was crying.

"Jasper what is going on? It was James wasn't it?" I pleaded for answer.

"Yes!" He choked out.

"I fucking knew he was gonna do something like this. I shouldn't have let you guys get involved. Why does this shit always happen to me?" I was panicking I didn't want anything to happen to Jazz it would kill me.

"Jazz who is that woman over there?" I asked after my little rant.

"I'm not sure but I think she is the nurse that gave you your meds in your room and then I woke up to her drugging me and then she helped James bring us here. I was barely coherent when it happened. I had overheard them talking he didn't realize I was still awake." Jazz said.

"She is asleep I can see her from here. What are we going to do? How are we going to get out of here?" I asked Jazz.

"I don't know love, I really don't know but I know our family will be looking for us. I just hope that they will find us soon." Jazz looked so broken it broke my heart to see him lose hope.

"Jazz please promise me something." I pleaded with him.

"Anything Bella." Was his answer.

"Just promise you will make it out of this with or without me, please." I looked into his eyes begging him to understand.

"Bella I promise we will make it out together but I cannot, no I won't promise to go on without you." Two tears rolled down his face.

"Jasper please I cannot-"

I was cut off by footsteps. I knew those footsteps anywhere, James. I had grown so used to listening to them when we were together to prepare myself for whatever he had in store for me. I cringed at the sound and I shot Jasper a warning look pleading with my eyes for him to be quiet and pretend to sleep. Jazz understood and lowered his head again. I watched Jazz I was so scared and I needed a plan. I know James enough that he is easy to trick I just hope that Jasper realizes what I'm doing because I am going to have to hurt him in order to convince James to let him go.

I turned my head toward the nurse to see James lean over her and whisper something in her ear. Her head shot up and she looked in his eyes there was just enough light that I could see their facial expressions. This stupid bitch is in love with him that's why she helping. She must be the most idiotic bitch around because who helps a manic kidnap two people. Doesn't she know why he took us? I mean even I know this sick twisted asshole did it because he wants me to be his still. The messed up thing is I'm starting to believe all the beatings were because he was insecure and scared of me leaving him. It's strange that after all I've been through with James I am just now figuring things out. When we first started dating he was the most charming and kind person I had met in a really long time but there were red flags. I saw the red flags but I was so lonely that I ignored them. In fact now that I think about it on our first date I saw the flashes of anger in his eyes when someone would look at me at the restaurant. Then as time went on how he would make sure we were together almost constantly, at the time I was falling for him so I didn't mind. But I would get worried when he would react badly to me wanting time to myself. He would even show up at the bar I was working at every shift and just sit and watch. I knew than he was possessive and jealous and it was starting to unnerve me. I mean Edward was possessive and jealous too but he let me be my own person and go places without him. I can't start thinking of him right now not in this moment especially with Jasper tied up. Fuck! What the hell is wrong with me? I need to keep my head straight if I'm going to get us out this alive.

Then I heard his footsteps start again and I cringed. I'm going to have to control that because I won't be able to fool him if I cringe or stiffen when he is close to me. I watch as he approaches. He looked like shit, he had dark bags under his eyes and he lost weight and it appeared that the ass beating he received from the Cullens only left him bruised. I didn't see any signs of broken bones but I did see nasty ass bruises all over his face. His appearance could help me fake concern because the way he looked would be reason enough for him to believe I was concerned for his health. I just hope that Jasper understands what I'm doing. James was a few feet away now and I could tell he was adjusting to the low light because he doesn't realize I'm looking dead at him. I blink my eyes several times and make my facial expression one of hurt and confusion. He notices and freezes.

"J-James wh-what is going on? Are you okay babe? Because you look like shit!" It was a half-truth he did look like shit but my concern was a lie.

He stood stock still and had a very confused look on his face. He looked as if he was trying to see if I was playing him. Yeah I was and for the first time in my life I am going to be strong and fight back. I am going to fight back in the dirtiest way. I am going to use his love for me against him. I am no longer the victim. As I steeled my resolve he cleared his throat and took the last few steps toward me. If I was going to pull this off I couldn't look at Jasper because James would figure me out that way.

"Why would you give a shit? Your pretty boy bitch and his family did this shit to my face!" James spat at me.

I thought of all the hurt and pain I could mentally muster up so I could bring tears to my eyes, it worked. As I thought of missing and losing the Cullens the tears streaked down my face. It must have worked because I saw a flash of concern in his eyes.

"James I'm-"He cut me off.

"No Bella don't I'm not in the mood for games!" James said sternly.

I was already getting to him because he didn't yell or start calling me or Jazz names. This is going to work because I can tell he is sober and he hasn't slept in a few days. I know enough about him that he is vulnerable when he is sober and sleep deprived.

"Please just look at me." I say as sweetly as possible.

He leaned over me and rubbed my hurt arm. I could see the pain in his eyes as he looked at the bandaged wound.

"Bella I am sorry for this, I really am I never meant to shoot you. I only wanted you to come back to me and away from _them_." He said.

I was losing him I needed to get his thoughts away from them or he was going back away.

"That was not your fault it was _his_." I spat out with as much venom in my voice as I could feign.

I pretended I was looking at James as I looked over towards Jazz. James turned his head in Jasper's directions and looked at the hate in my eyes and he seemed convinced. I needed to tread very carefully because one thing I know about James his mood can change on a drop of a dime.

"Don't fucking try and play me Bella! I'm not in the best fucking state of mind right now!" James said with hurt laced in his voice. I was getting to him, his walls were crumbling. I didn't think it would work this fast. He really must be exhausted.

"Let's not talk about them anymore just come lie next to me and sleep." I felt him stiffen. He was still leaning over me rubbing my arm and as the words left my mouth he froze. So I though fast and changed the direction I was going. "I mean can you please lie next to me so I can sleep? I haven't been sleeping very well. I miss having you next to me. I know you don't believe me and you don't trust me but that's okay. I don't expect to be forgiven so easily. I know I fucked up. I was just so angry because the baby. I was wrong for blaming you but I was so heartbroken I wasn't thinking straight. I miss you James. Please I don't expect anything just please lie next to me. I need you. Just until I fall asleep. Can you at least lie next to me until I'm asleep, please? I am so fucking tired and I miss your body heat next to me I've been so cold without you." I was fighting the acid that rose in my mouth as I said the words.

He was losing his resolve I could feel him relaxing and I could see the war in his eyes. He wanted to give in he wanted to lie down next to me. He leaned over me and smelled my hair. Then he whispered in my ear "don't fuck with me Isabella because you won't like the consequences especially with pretty boy bitch over there….I will end him and make you watch….I promise you that…."

I wanted to cringe and back away but I knew I had to keep this façade up or we weren't going to get out of this. I turned my head towards him and whispered "I only want you to lie beside me so I can sleep. I'm not playing any games or fucking with you. I told you I don't expect forgiveness I just want your arms around me again please just let me pretend for a while that none of this bullshit happened. Can it just be you and me for a little while just so I can finally sleep? I haven't slept in so fucking long." I put just enough desperation in my voice to convince him I was sincere.

He pulled back to look in my eyes and I fought tooth and nail to look the part and not turn my head to look at Jazz. I looked in James' hard cold blue eyes and pictured the loving, open blue with subtle hints of jade that Jasper has and I longed to get lost in the ever distant sea of his gaze. It was working I saw James relaxing and falling into the chocolate pools of my own eyes. He reached over me and undid the restraint of my bad arm and then down to the restraint of my leg on that same side. He looked into my eyes again after he moved back up to my face and gave me a silent warning not to try anything stupid. He didn't have to speak the words I knew better. I knew I wasn't going to get away in this moment. I knew even if he passed out he was going to be holding me with a death grip. This was all part of the plan to gain his trust. I am not stupid enough to believe I was getting past him and the nurse while saving Jazz by running. I was going to play this shit smart and gain his trust.

James must have seen the understanding in my eyes because he started to slowly and gently move my body so he could lie next to me. He shot the nurse a look and said "keep an eye on shit I am going lie next to her until she falls asleep. So I am expecting you to keep a watch on pretty boy bitch over there and make sure no one enters. You got that?"

That stupid bitch just nodded and sat back. She must be really dumb who lets the man they love lay in bed with another woman while they do his dirty work? When this is over I hope they both rot in their cells for a very long ass time.

James moved me so he could lie behind me. He had one arm wrapped around my waist and the other under my neck and his leg was place over my hip. He put our bodies so close together I felt so claustrophobic and I couldn't breathe right. I had to keep it under control though I couldn't allow him to know how hard it was with him wrapped completely around my body like this. I felt his erection growing behind me. I wanted to vomit but I had to hold in all those feelings I put up the shield I had created in my mind to save me from all the pain I've endured at his hands. It was working because the more I relaxed into his touch the more he relaxed. He was slightly rubbing himself on my backside; I know he was doing this to gauge my reaction. I know enough about him that he likes to test people to see how they react to him so I played along and held back the cringe and urge to puke. It worked because after a few minutes he was relaxing against me and inhaling the scent of my hair.

"I'm so sorry baby but this hospital has fucked up the smell of your hair. I'm going to have Rachel give you a bath tomorrow with your favorite shampoo and body washes. I want your smell back this hospital smell is just fucking gross." James said into my hair.

I didn't respond because I couldn't hold back the bile that rose in my throat all I wanted was Jasper snuggled up against me breathing in my hair the way he loves to. So that's what I did I pretended it was Jasper and faked falling asleep. I felt James relax and soon I heard the slight snoring he always did when he was knocked out and I felt his arms hold me so tight it hurt. There was no way in hell I was going to be able to move without waking him. The only thing that I was thankful for was I was facing Jasper. I still hadn't looked at him I was too scared to see the hurt and confusion I knew would be written all over his beautiful face. I took a deep breath and slowly moved my eyes towards Jasper.

I wasn't prepared for what I saw though. He was pissed I could see the veins poking out everywhere in his neck and forehead. I looked at him in shock and when he met my eyes his death glare went from severe too soft in an instant. When we locked eyes I could see the love he had and the fear and pain and underneath it all was the hatred and storm that was brewing to get to James. In that moment I knew that Jasper was going to kill James and he was going to make him suffer. It was written all over his face. I watched as he looked at where James's hands were and how James was pressing his lower body against mine and I knew Jasper knew he was pressing his erection there. I could see the disgust in his eyes and the shudder that ran through his body. He looked back in my eyes pleading with me to understand that it wasn't against me and he mouth "I know what you're doing." Then he surprised me and gave me a devilish evil grin and mouthed "you're mine!" I looked at him and mouthed back "always" and his smile grew and he mouthed "MINE!" again and "forever!" I looked in his eyes and mouthed "and a day." It was our own way of saying I love you without using those words that we were both terrified of but felt to the depths of our souls. In that moment I knew that we were going to get out of this together and we were both going to be alright because I would fight with everything I have for us and our family. At that moment I thought of all of our family and how they would be dealing with us missing. I could picture the rage behind the beautiful blue of Rosalie's eyes or the intense protecting gaze of the hazel of Emmett's eyes or the hatred that would burn the emerald green of Edward whom still loved me and yet let me go so I could find happiness with Jasper. I could picture the scared and longing look that would fill the sea green almost emerald look of mom's (Esme) eyes or the dread and fear that would grace the blue hues of Carlisle the patriarch of the family. In that moment I knew that I would do anything to get Jasper and I back to our family and relieve all the pain and suffering that James has place on our beautiful family.

I looked back to Jasper and mouthed "trust me I got this" he shook his head no because ever the protector he didn't want anything to happen to me. I looked him in the eyes and told him "trust me please" in the quietest whisper I could manage without altering James to our conversation. Jasper looked back and he finally relented realizing that I was not going to back down not this time. I finally gained the strength I needed to take care of the ones I loved and of course myself. I was starting to formulate a plan. I needed to gain the upper hand on James and that would be difficult but not impossible even though he was a mean ass motherfucker deep down he had some serious mommy issues. I knew I could manipulate him into doing what I want. I was going to convince him to let me take care of Jazz but letting me untie him and torture him this way I could free Jazz and he could beat the shit out of James again and get us out. I needed Jasper to be really pissed to accomplish this so I would have to convince him I was losing my mind and giving into James. I just hope that he remembered the words we just shared because I didn't want to break his heart I just wanted us to be safe.

So with my new resolve I decided to sleep so I could be rested enough to fulfill my plan when James awoke.

I awoke a few hours later to James' erection being pressed into my backside again. But I was awake enough to know not to cringe instead I one upped him and pressed back and wiggled my ass a little and said "oh I missed you so fucking much James." I made sure to use his name so he didn't think I was referring to someone else.

"I can't wait until I can fuck the shit out of you baby." James whispered in my ear in his sick loving way.

"Me either." I responded.

His eyes lit up like it was fucking Christmas, Jesus he was so easy to trick. Why was I so weak before? Jeez if I would've took the time to get past my broken heart and take control over James I would have never been beaten by him but then again I probably wouldn't have the Cullens back either.

"As soon as we are back at home I fully plan to make you _mine_ again. I would take you right now in front of _him_ but I don't want him to see what is _mine._" James said loud enough for Jasper to hear.

"Don't worry about that James he has never had what is yours. I haven't been with anyone else, I promise." I said with conviction even though I fully intended on letting Jasper have what is Jasper's and me have what is mine or Jasper it hasn't happened yet so James would see the truth in my eyes.

Just as I knew James would he searched my eyes for lies and when he realized I was telling the truth his eyes grew brighter and I knew this was going to be cake walk. I only had to pray that Jasper was not too hurt to fuck James up when I got him free. But I was hedging my bets because I was going to make sure Jasper was so pissed pain wouldn't stop him so he would fulfill his part accordingly. I knew it was wrong to play with Jasper's emotions that way but our lives and futures depended on it and I was not taking chances.

"I trust you Bella and I'm starting to forgive you for leaving it was really a horrible thing for you to do. But I do understand that you were hurting and confused and I have to take some of the blame for that but don't make me regret it." James purred. How can he give forgiveness and a threat in one sentence he really is certifiable.

"Thank you." Was my brilliant reply but with James less is more and the less I talked the less likely I would fuck up so I plan on sticking to short and simple answers.

"Well now I have to figure how to get us out of here and home and get rid of Rachel and pretty boy bitch." James said.

Fuck what am I going to do? Even though I disliked that stupid nurse for helping James I didn't want her to die and of course he wasn't going nowhere near Jasper if I could help it.

"What do have in mind?" I said to James menacingly so he thought I was with him on this.

"I'm not sure if killing them will be good because I don't want to be in more trouble but I guess since I already killed Victoria…...I'm already kind of fucked so I thought maybe we could get rid of these two and go away somewhere far and start over again. Maybe Mexico or something?" He is so fucking delusional did he really think he would just walk across the border like nothing happened. I mean shit he isn't smart but what moron believes you can just waltz into another country like it ain't shit and start a life with no money or anything? What a fucking dumb ass.

"Yeah James that could work." Internal eye roll.

"Not that it's any of my business but what did Victoria do?" I asked James to get his mind off of Jasper.

"That stupid fucking bitch got pregnant! I told her stupid ass the only children I want are the ones you and I have together not the demon spawn she wanted to pass through her nasty ass pussy!" James spat.

I looked at him appalled but he took it as I was angry about him fucking Vickie and he grabbed my face between his hands.

"Oh no baby, don't worry I didn't mean to fuck her…. I was just so upset when you left I really thought you went back to Edward….I am so sorry she didn't mean shit don't you see that's why I got rid of her. As soon as she showed me that test I knew I had to get you back and that I only wanted you and no one else. I don't even know why I fucked her she fucked with my head again. After you left she found out and showed up at our house and started trying to fuck me and I got drunk and well…...I didn't even enjoy it all I thought about was you. I even did horrible things to her and she still kept coming back for more. But no matter how hard I tried all I thought about was you. Bella don't you see ever since I laid eyes on you I knew I had to make you mine." As the words poured out of his mouth I realized just how obsessed he was and how much help he needed if his mother and Victoria hadn't fuck his head up so much he probably would've been a really great guy.

I know that I shouldn't feel the way I do but I will sort of regret when Jasper kills him but I still don't care enough to stop it. He is too fucked up in the head to get help and his life is over anyway he just admitted to murder and he kidnapped us he is fucked no matter what. I suppose killing him is going to be like giving him mercy lord knows what will happen to him in jail. The fucked up thing is that I know without looking over at Jazz that he will kill James because I know how possessive Jazz is. It is sick to think that I was once scared of this lame ass excuse for a man (James)? Is it wrong that after James and his bullshit I am willingly running into the arms of another man that has obsessed over me for years? But at least Jasper's obsession is healthy because he would never hurt me but he will hurt anyone who does hurt me. Damn I love Jasper I can't wait until I can finally say those words to him.

"James I want to help is that okay?" I ask in a sing song voice.

"Yes Bella of course you can help. What do you want to do?" He says with an approving evil glint in his eyes happy that he thinks I am finally on board with him. I look down to see his erection growing in his pants.

"Well can you undo my restraints and we can discuss what to do with these two so we can leave and be happy again?" I ask giving him a happy evil glint of my own.

"Fuck yes baby!" He says and I see his erection growing harder. He is one sick twisted individual and the fucked up thing is I think my new found courage is scaring him into submission because he is taking orders from me without question. If I would have figured this out a long time ago I would've saved myself a whole lot of ass whippings.

I smile at him as he undoes my restraints. Then I leaned into his ear and whisper "let me take care of pretty boy bitch over there he is so stupid he won't hurt me and with my arm still fucked up the nurse would probably fuck me up."

"Your right baby girl I will take care of her because I don't want anything happening to you. And I promise I will never hurt you again because I see now how wrong I was I can see it in your eyes I can finally trust you." No you can't dumbass I thought as he looked at me. All the time we spent together and the devotion I gave him and now that I am playing him he trusts me. What a dumbass.

I lean into him again and whisper in his ear "kiss me James and make him see that I am yours."

As the words left my mouth his lips were on mine and he was kissing me with a fire of passion I had never felt from him before in fact he was surprisingly gentle and loving and it made my stomach turn because the years I spent with him he never once kissed me this way. I forced myself to kiss him back without cringing or freezing up. All I could think was I couldn't wait for Jasper to kick his ass and with that thought it made kissing him so much easier. I could hear Jasper's growl of anger rumble out of his chest from across the room and knew it was almost time because he would probably break his arms to get free to get James now. James was total oblivious to the growl emanating from Jasper and finished the kiss and pulled back slightly to look at me and then did something so fucking stupid he kissed my forehead. That was Jasper's favorite spot to kiss me even when Edward kissed me there Jasper would get pissed and did ever since we were little kids that was his spot to kiss me. That was why I made damn sure Jasper didn't see Edward kiss me there before the ambulance took me away because I knew Jazz would be pissed off. So I knew that James' action would fuel the fire. I think it was Jasper's favorite spot to kiss because when I was with Edward it was all he could get away with. Isn't it ironic how you don't notice the little things? I never even thought of that until this moment all those years I spent with Edward and then missing all of them and until just now I never realized just how deep Jasper cared for me. In fact I think I always knew deep down but was too scared of the passion I felt for him but now all the little things keep popping up and cementing my love for him. I did often wonder why Edward wouldn't kiss my forehead when we were in front of Jazz and judging by his reaction to James I know why now.

Jasper's rage filled growl brought me out of my thoughts and I smiled at James who still didn't hear the dangerous noise coming from Jasper. James smiled back widely thinking the smile was for him and he handed me his knife to cut Jasper loose and turned his head towards Jasper.

"Here take this needle and give him this shot and cut his throat and I'll take care of Rachel after I see the coast is clear, okay?" James said delightedly.

I nodded my head in agreement and watched as he walked towards Nurse Rachel. He walked passed her and out towards the hall he turned to look at me and pointed at Jazz and gave me a thumbs up the hand gesture that he would be back in a few. He looked at me and smiled widely, happy that I had waited and was obeying him. The stupid nurse must have thought the smile was for her because she sat up straighter. She hadn't turned to look our way the whole time James and I were talking so she had no idea I was free.

I got off the bed and made my way to Jasper. He was watching me with trepidation I couldn't make out his expression I couldn't decide if he thought I lost it or if I was a genius. I smiled at him and seen realization cross his eyes as I stalked towards him. He smiled back and I nodded. I put my finger on my lips and pointed towards the nurse so Jasper wouldn't say anything. I took the last few steps to him and leaned over to cut the ropes. I whispered in his ear "YOURS!" as I cut ropes that bond his feet together. I looked in his eyes and mouthed "forever" as I reached behind him to cut the ropes form his wrists.

Jasper leaned forward and whispered in my ear "you know I will kill him for touching what is mine, right?" with that he kissed my forehead and licked it to make sure that James' kiss was completely erased. I whispered back "of course that was the plan ya, know?"

I leaned back and smiled at him and he smiled back and grabbed my face between his hands and licked my lips and kissed them and then said "my evil little genius I should've known just how strong you are now let's get the fuck out of here and rid that filthy bastard from our lives for good my love." Jasper said menacingly and it sent chills of thrill that sent wetness between my legs. What the fuck is wrong with me?

All those years I spent feeling weak and helpless here in the presence of death and danger I finally set my mind and feelings free. I know that from now on I wouldn't have nightmares and be scared any longer as long as I have Jasper and my family by my side. I know I can accomplish anything I set my mind on. I finally feel strong and worthy of the love that Jasper and our family have shown me. I help Jasper up and ask him if he is sure he can take James and he says that filthy bastard touched what is his and he will pay. I nodded my head a little too enthusiastically because I was fucking turned on and couldn't find words. I licked my lips and Jazz stared at them yeah he was turned on too. I gestured to the needle and towards the nurse and mouthed "I'll get her you get him."

He nodded his head in agreement and we stalked towards the stupid nurse who was still watching the door that James walked out of. As we approached the girl I put my hand over her mouth and pushed the needle into her arm both knocking her ass out and saving her life. She is lucky I am not a violent person or one for revenge because by knocking her out I gave her life even if it meant she would live most of it behind bars.

Jasper walked towards the door and pointed to the direction across from the door and says "go hide in the shadows over there and I will take care of James, my love."

I did as he asked and slid into the darkness as Jasper did too near the door that James would return to. I watched in anticipation as the door knob turned. As the door opened I watched as Jasper's muscles flexed in anticipation of the fight that would occur. As James stepped through the door Jasper grabbed him by the throat and pulled him into his chest restraining his arms in the process.

"Guess who?" Jasper said with malice.

I watched as James' Adam's apple bobbed and he searched the room for me.

"You touched something that belongs to me and that is a no, no. I warned you stay away from her and you still didn't listen. I fucking told you not to put your filthy hands on her ever again and you still did. I told you I would kill you if you ever touched her again and you didn't fucking listen. You stupid ass waste of space you have no idea what I endured for her happiness already and what I will endure for the rest of my life just to make her happy. If I was a cold hearted bastard I would kill you slowly and watch with delight for all the fucked up shit you did to her but I know her and she is not one for revenge. She is the most forgiving and beautiful person I know and I would never let her watch such a thing. Understand this I will show mercy and that mercy is for her soul and not yours. I had every intention of killing you as you walked through that door but I know my love and I know that she would regret having acted hastily in revenge. She is too good for her own good but I know she is strong enough that the nightmares you caused her are finally gone. I know in my heart that she is finally rid of the horrible thoughts of you that she finally stood up to you and she is finally free. By tricking you and releasing me I know that she has finally gained strength to move on and be happy finally. Once you are rotting away in that cell you will no longer cross through her mind anymore and she will be in my arms loving me where she belongs and always has belonged.

I will love her and show her what real love is and I don't have to beat her to prove it. You disgust me and will no longer be a pebble in my shoe or a throne in her side any longer." Jasper said in a menacing and calm voice.

Every word that poured out of his mouth spoke volumes of the way he loves me and has always loved me and I just prayed I could make him as happy as he makes. But I knew that my happiness was what always made him happy and I just hope it continues that way.

After Jasper's little speech he grabbed James by the hair and punched him in the face and said "that's for kissing Bella's lips," kick to the groin "and that's for kissing my spot on her forehead which is only for me," another kick to the groin for good measure, "and this is for drugging me and beating my ass like a coward while I was drugged," with that Jazz punched James in the gut several times. Then he started beating the shit out of James it looked as if Jazz was giving James all the injures that he had bestowed upon me the last time he beat me ass. I could hear him ribs break and watched as his face swelled the way mine had been.

When he was finally done and James looked unconscious Jasper said "get some rope love so we can tie him up and call the cops. I know you and I know you don't want me to kill him as much as I would love to do that I know you could never live with that. I don't want you to feel any regret and he will pay for his actions and never see the light of day again." Jasper said with conviction.

"I know and thank you Jazz….you have no idea how much you mean to me!" I wanted to say the words but I didn't want it to be in response to James or the situation we found ourselves in I wanted it to be special and be just us in each other's arms where we belonged.

"I know how much I care about you!" Jazz answered back and with that I knew he understood my reluctance at the words as I understood his. Damn it's fucking great to have someone who gets you.

Hell he was right when it came down to it by tomorrow I would have regretted watching James die. To think that I was scared of our love and passion all those years ago I was stupid but I will spend the rest of my life making it up to Jazz. I am just so happy to have the time to make it up to him.

I handed him the rope and he tied James up and gestured towards the nurse and handed me the other rope to tie her up as well. I did and I turned around to face Jasper I smiled at him and he stalked towards me in a few strides and he had me in his arms and in the air. He held me to him and kissed me with all the passion he felt at finally being free from the nightmare that was James and I kissed him back with just as much passion and fire. I felt him swipe his soft wet tongue across my bottom lip and I opened my mouth to let it in. Our tongues dances and played for dominance until we were breathless and then he kissed my forehead and peppered my whole face and neck with kisses while saying how happy he was we were safe and how he was going to show me how much I mean to him. I returned the kisses as best I could and played with the hair at the nape of his neck. Finally after a few minutes he put me down and said "baby you have to go get the police while I stay here to keep an eye on these two. Can you do it or…." He trailed off not sure how to finish the sentence.

I looked at him in disbelief "oh Jazz love I am fine trust me I am no longer scared I realized that I am stronger than I gave myself credit for and the only thing I don't like about it is being away from you." I smiled at him and he smiled back "okay love go get the cops and call our family I'll be waiting with these two assholes."

With that I ran out the door and couldn't wait to be back and in Jasper's arms.

I opened the door to a long hallway and at the end was another door I opened that it to find it was nighttime and we were at the hospital we had been in. I looked around and noticed we were in an abandoned smaller building to the right of the main hospital. Those two were either really fucking stupid or really fucking smart thinking they could hide us right in plain sight. I looked around and found a sign leading to the ER so I ran that way figuring a cop would me nearby and a phone. I run through the doors and found a police officer sitting in a chair near the entrance at first I thought it was just a security guard by upon further inspection I notice his badge and the logo for the Chicago Police Dept. and I tapped him on his shoulder.

"Um excuse me officer my name is Isabella Swan and my boyfriend Jasper Cullen and I were victims in a kidnapping…I'm not really sure how long ago-"The officer cut me off.

"Ms. Swan we have been searching for you for three days now. Where have you been? Are you hurt? Where is Mr. Cullen?" The cop went right into interrogation mode and stared spewing off questions.

"Officer I will show you if I could please just use the phone to call my family to let them know we are okay, please. And no I am not hurt but we have to hurry, okay?" I pleaded with him.

"Yes of course call your family and I will call for back up." The officer said.

I dialed Edward's number because knowing him he was giving himself an ulcer with worry and he would be the calmest next to Carlisle to talk to and I didn't know Carlisle's number by heart so Edward it was.

"Hello?" Edward asked

"Oh Edward you answered thank GOD!"

"Bella is that really you!" He practically squealed in happiness.

"Yes Ed-"

"Bella where are you? Are you hurt? Is Jasper Hurt? Bel-"Then he was cut off.

"Bella is this really you? I have been so fucking worried. Where the fuck are you?" Rosalie demanded in a panicked voice.

"Rose I'm fine just a little tired please just listen, okay?" I asked hoping she would calm the fuck down.

"James had us and he and a nurse were holding us in an abandoned part of the hospital. Please get everyone and meet us up here it's the same hospital we were just in and don't worry Jasper and I are both fine. We got loose and Jasper has James and is waiting for the police and me to get back to him so please gather everyone up and hurry, okay?" I told her in one breath because I needed to get back to Jasper desperately.

"Okay Bella we will be there is like 30mins or less depending on how fast we can get into the cars." With that I hear yelling to get a fucking move on to get to the hospital and arguing for the phone to speak to me.

"Rose I gotta go I really need to get back to Jazz, okay? Oh and I love you guys and missed you so fucking much." I said as tears threatened to spill from my eyes.

"I love ya too Bella." She says as the phone is passed back to Edward with a here take it and let's get a move on motherfucker.

"Bella I was so fucking scared I would never see you or Jazz again. I love you Bella so fucking much it hurts and I love my brother too. I am so happy you two are okay and are together I knew he would take care of you." Edward said and I could hear the tears in his voice.

"Edward-"

"Don't say it Bella I know okay I know that you don't love me that way anymore. I get it and I know now is not the time to say it but I have to. Now get back to Jazz and we will be there as soon as we can. Oh and Bella your dad is here. Bye I will see you soon." With that he hung up the phone.

What the fuck Charlie is in Chicago. This just gets better and better but I shouldn't be surprised the cop said we were missing for three days so I shouldn't be too surprised he flew out here. He has probably been giving the Chicago PD permanent migraines. Well at least I could finally have that talk with him. I missed him so much even though I'm still a little pissed off about him keeping all the shit about the Cullens from me. Oh well I know after I tell him how I feel it will be okay between us because in light of all the shit I went through I forgive him for trying to protect me even if I disagree with his approach.

I make my way back to the officer and tell him to follow me and he says back up is on the way. We reach the building and I tell him how to make it into the room I was just in and he says to stay behind him just in case they got loose and have Jasper again. We make our way through the hallway and the door. He opens the door weapon drawn and steps inside. Jasper says that the prisoners are detained and moves past the officer and pulls me into his arms.

"I miss you. Did you call our family?" Jazz asks.

"Yes I called Edward and told him where we were and we are fine. Of course Rose overheard and snatched the phone. They will be here in a little bit." We were both laughing about Rose.

"Officer is it okay if Bella and I wait for our family in the ER?" Jasper asks the officer.

"Yes that will be fine but don't leave stay in the ER. I am sure they will want to check you out to access your injuries and get your statements." He replied to Jazz

"Yes sir officer." Jasper replied back

Jasper took my hand and we walked the ER to await our family and the police. He sat in a chair and pulled me into his lap peppering my face with kisses and holding me tight as I held onto his neck and relaxed into his embrace kissing him back when I could. I placed gentle and loving kisses on all his wounds and on his lips. I played with the hair at the nape of his neck as he rubbed my back and ran his fingers through my hair and held me tight every so often. We were in our own little bubble and paid no attention to the people around us.

A/N sorry about the delay hope you enjoyed!


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